Amazing friends.

As a family, we have been so lucky with the support we've recieved from family, friends and strangers. I honesty can't value peoples support enough. I have a group of friends that have all had babies around the same time so all of our kids have no more than a couple of months between them. It has been amazing to watch them grow up together and although they say not to compare, if it wasn't for my friends babies, I may have not realised there was something wrong with Jacob. My friend Laura had her little boy Jonah 11 days after Jacob. And since they were a few weeks old we've seen each other every week, sometimes twice. When Jacob was about 12 weeks old, so Jonah was about 10 weeks, Laura came over for a play date. Although at 10 and 12 weeks, it was more like a nap date and we would sit and drink tea and eat chocolate digestives by the packet. Jonah's eyes would follow me around the room, watch everything I was doing. And it was then I realised something really wasn't right with Jacob. He didn't watch or follow. He wasn't interested in anything. Jonah's eyes locked onto me. And Jacob just stared into space. It was this night after my sister noticed it too, that I finally decided to have a little look online and google the white reflection in Jacobs eye. To which all that came up was "Retinoblastoma." I just knew that was what he had. I'd spent the last six weeks telling everyone he was blind and to be told I was being crazy and perhaps he just hadn't developed as quickly as other kids. But as soon as it came up on google, I just knew it was that. We went straight to A & E, where they referred us to the eye clinic the next day. And it was then that they said they think that's what Jacob had. They can't "officially" diagnose as it is such a rare disease and only a few doctors in the country specialise in it. But I knew it was that. Mothers instinct they say. I thought that was a load of rubbish when I'd heard about it before. But now, if you're a mum, you know best. No matter what. You may be overreacting or panicking. But mothers instinct is powerful. I know. 

I can't even tell you how grateful I am that Laura came round that day. I still say to this day that if it wasn't for her and Jonah, I may have left it longer and Jacobs condition may have been a lot worse than it is.  

Since then, we have become so close. All of my friends have been so wonderful. Laura and Katherine were two of the first people I told when we found out about Jacob. Katherine has Eva, who is 11 days older than Jacob. She is hilarious. Has the boys wrapped round her little finger, much to her dads dismay! They never ever treated Jacob or me any different, no head tilts, no pity faces. We just carried on as normal. And it was so amazing. On bad days, I can explode onto them and they are so unbelievably honest with me. And sometimes that is exactly what I need. Laura can just say something and it's like a slap in the face and makes me realise that I'm being an idiot or talking rubbish. And normally I'd probably cry at someone being so brutally honest with me, but since Jacob got poorly, it is so appreciated. Because I can get wrapped up in me sometimes and it's so nice to have someone there to snap me out of it. But on the other hand, they remind me that it's okay to be upset and to be angry and to cry. I cannot value their friendship highly enough. And even though we've only been really close for a year, I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through the last year without them. As with all of my other friends with children, the friendship that you have together as mothers is so amazing. At the risk of sounding a bit hippy like, it really is an amazing bond you have. From talking about teething, to sleep troubles to explosive nappies, it is so amazing to know that, chances are, everyone is in the same boat. And you're not the only one awake at 3am scrambling under the cot for a dummy, or not the only one on the brink of a meltdown because you're so tired. I am very lucky to have the friends I have, especially when at times, I probably haven't been the best friend I could be because I've been too busy because of a blood transfusion or a line infection or another doctors trip. Jacob is so so lucky to have such wonderful people in his life.  When he was first diagnosed, we were overwhelmed with the generosity of people. Whether it was gifts, or money, or just the unbelievable support of people. Including strangers. It reminds you that there are still some amazing people in this world that also has so much negativity in it. And that is something worth remembering.

Eva and Jacob. 

 

Big J and little J. Joney and Jakey. 

The first official meeting of the troublesome trio.