The naughty step.

We have hit the terrible twos. I'm sure of it. Tantrums galore. We originally started the naughty step around a month ago, but Jacob seemed to enjoy it and purposely do things he shouldn't so he could sit on it. Novelty?! Well that wore off after a week. And I hear that the offending child should sit there for same amount of minutes as their age. So we've been doing around 1 and a half to two minutes. Well I sincerely hope he learns quickly because those two minutes feel like two years. We've gone with the stopping crying before being allowed to come off also, but normally after the two minutes and telling Jacob to stop crying, he's normally pretty good. He does seem to be learning slowly. If I say "do you want to go on the naughty step?" He shouts "No!" And tends to stop whatever roguish thing he's doing. Obviously this isnt the case every time. Especially after some chocolate buttons or something nice and e number filled.
A few people have said to me that Jacob can probably sense the changes happening which explains the sudden change in naughty behaviour. To be honest, I'm sure all kids go through this trying phase and I'm just going to deal with it the best I can and my way. And if that doesn't work, then I'll just be a ragged mum of two constantly shouting at my toddler to no avail. But let's hope not!

Jacobs eating has gone a bit up the wall too, he's decided he no longer likes bread or any of its friends. So wraps, crackers, bagels, rolls, none of it is suitable for lunch anymore. He's taken to grazing most of the day but I try to stop him from eating anything from about 3pm so that he eats a full meal at dinner time. He's never been a fan of what I call "oven" dinners, so chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc but he will eat most other things. And the other day he ate a real sausage! Not one of the processed mushy ones in beans or spaghetti, a real sausage! Haha. I was so pleased because he's never really eaten real meat on its own. So ham, roast chicken, mince etc. If it's in something such as a cottage pie, pasta dish or a chilli for example, he will eat it but not a chicken breast or ham sandwich, but that could also be the current bread avoidance too! I hear this I quite common around Jacob's age so let's hope it's a phase.

Jacob seems to be coming along so much with his his speech, it is so funny listening to him ramble on. He says "yeah" now but in a little American accent and it is so cute. And he has finally started to call me Mummy!!! I have been "Char" for forever and I hated it! Now he calls my sister Char Char, which is what my nephew calls me. I cannot believe he will be two in less than three weeks. It's gone so so fast!

The weather has been lovely here for the last couple of weeks, so we've spent most days outside. We also went to feed the lambs at "Pets Corner" which is a little petting zoo near our house. It was lovely, although Jacob did try to kick the little lamb in the head. Everything is "goaaaaall!" at the moment. He is so into football already, Rich is very pleased!!

We went to a new playgroup last week at a church in our town. It was recommended by my friend Fran, so we went along. It was 10-11.30 which is perfect for us as Jacob normally naps around 12.30ish now. They have an hours playtime, then "tidy up time" which Jacob actually participated in, then they have snacks and then finish with singing. It was honestly the nicest playgroup we've been to so will definitely go again.

I have noticed Jacob has developed a bit of a nervous "thing" I guess is what to call it. When people are making a fuss of him, he tends to cover his right (artificial) eye. Its only been the last couple of weeks and he's even doing it to my mum who he sees all the time. We've not made a deal of it as I'm hoping it's just a little thing he is going through, but I am worried that it's because he knows it is different. Rich said he doesn't think so as he is so young, but I'm not sure! We will see how it goes!

I'm going to do a separate pregnancy post I think as its taken me nearly a month to write this one so I'll never get done otherwise. Worst blogger ever!!!!

4am is the new 7am.

Oh my gosh, I don't think I've been this tired since Jacob was first born. We've recently decided that afternoon naps are no longer necessary (again) and that its completely normal to get up for the day at 4am. He's just gone down for a nap and it's only 8.30, which is going to ruin his whole day now. Yes, I am a routine drill Sargent. Jacob has always had the same sort of routine so if anything changes, it just messes up his whole day. So the 8.30am nap means he will be an absolute grotbag by around 1pm. And if he skips his afternoon nap again, he will be a total sleep deprived monster by bedtime and then we can do it all over again. We have been very lucky with Jacob going down to bed. From around six weeks old, he had a bath, bottle then bed. At first, he went in his Moses basket in our room and we'd leave him to go off on his own, although for the first few nights, I would sit outside our room or peer round the door until he went to sleep. Then he went into his own room at 3 and a half months as he filled his Moses basket and we wanted him to be used to it before his chemo started as we didn't want an upheaval when he would be feeling rubbish anyway. The times obviously changed as he got older and settled more into a routine with feeding and daily naps and bedtime slowly dropped from 10pm to 7pm which it is now. Although last night he went to bed at 6pm as he was so tired. I wish babies understood when you explained to them that if they slept, they wouldn't feel so pooped. Jacob just looks at me like I'm mad when he's throwing a wobbly and I'm stood there going "well Jacob, if you'd have slept or gotten up at a normal time this would be happening right now would it." I just get another scream as a response.
So right now, with the first bit of quiet I've had since 4.45am, I am torn between having a nap, washing my hair or having a cup of tea (as I couldn't drink the first one I made due to my insane little monster refusing to allow me to sit still.)

...So, I opted for all three, and managed to squeeze them all in! Well I didn't really have a nap, just laid on the bed revelling in the silence. And I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea more in my life. Jacob slept for around two hours, and woke up in a reasonably good mood! We've started going for a walk after his morning nap, just to kill some time really because he normally is quite miserable between his morning nap and lunch. Plus it builds up his appetite a bit! We've had some trouble with him eating since we've been letting him sit at his little table and chairs to eat, he gets up and looses interest quite quickly. He still eats, but just takes a lot longer and then he gets bored. So I think we may go back to the booster seat at the table.
My dad and step mum came over with my little sister this afternoon, and for the first time, I saw Jacob being a bit of a monkey with sharing his toys. My little sister is nearly 3 so she's still learning about sharing too. But Jacob was trying to take everything Katie picked up. And he was not happy when I took it back to Katie. This age is definitely living up to its reputation as "the hard stage." My happy, independent boy has become a miserable clingbot. He woke up from his afternoon nap extremely unhappy and sat on my lap eating his rice cakes through groans and moans. Rich played some ball with him when he got home from work so I could cook dinner, which probably would have proved a mission with Jacob hanging off my leg! I feel like I constantly repeat myself, but I really hope he sleeps better tonight!

We went to Wild & Wacky as usual on Monday and to Jo Jingles. Jacob really enjoyed himself. He climbed around all of the soft play and went up to the slide all by himself which he never normally does. And he stood up and participated in most of Jo Jingles. He was hilarious, just wandering around like he owned the place. 

 The troublesome twosome...

 "Participate" also means "eat the instruments."

 Walking.

 We went to the park on Tuesday to try and burn some energy so Jacob had an afternoon nap. It failed.

 Jacob is obsessed with this tree stump in the woods behind our house. 

Cruising in Jacob's car.

I am arranging a fundraiser for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust as I couldn't make the Carrots Night walk this year, which we did last year and raised an unbelievable £7000! In all honesty, I just totally forgot to sign up this year which is a bummer because I really wanted to do it as it was quite good fun and I met some amazing people last year. So, to ease my guilt for being useless and forgetting, I have decided to throw a children's Halloween Disco. Originally, I was going to just have a Halloween party at home for my friends and their children, but my friend suggested we turn it into a fundraiser. So since last week, I have been planning that! It's quite stressful but people have been so generous with raffle prizes and donations. Its so lovely to know there are people out there who want to help. I'm sure it will be worth all the stress and worry on the day! And I cannot wait to dress Jacob up in some crazy costume!

Ball play.

We go to soft play and Jo Jingles every Monday. Jo Jingles is a singing and movement class for 6 months to around 5 years. Jacob absolutely loves it and at home he will do the actions to Wind The Bobbin Up and a few other songs. However when we are there, he just sits there smiling like a lunatic, doesn't do any of the actions and then claps to the sleeping bunnies song, to which he's supposed to be quiet.

I absolutely love going and watching him clamber around the soft play and try to keep balance in the ball pit. And he loves to sit watching other kids. You would never ever think he was going through what he does. 

It's quite nerve wracking when other mums talk to Jacob or older kids look at him and talk to him as I just panic they're going to ask about his eye. Most people don't even notice, even my family have to ask which eye is artificial sometimes. (Although I don't know if they're just being polite!) The worst part is when you get chatting to other mums and they ask how old Jacob is, and when I say "13 months." I just know what's coming next... "Isn't he little!!!!" Most of the time I just laugh it off and say "yeah he's a little squirt." But sometimes I feel like screaming at them "YES HE IS! He's got bloody cancer, that's why he's small!" Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue. And I know no mums mean anything by it, I'm sure I've said it to someone else before. But when you have a child that you know will be slightly different to other children, (how many kids are going to be able to take their eye out to show their friends!?) you can't help but feel defensive. 

Sometimes it's easy to joke about it, like when he's going crazy and diving around in the ball pit, I joke and think what the staff would think when I ask them to empty the ball pit because my sons eye is in there somewhere. And as with everyone else, I'd either make them cry, or they'd just look ridiculously uncomfortable and oblige. Jacob just sits there smiling at the "head tilters" because he doesn't know or care less what anyone thinks of him. And that's the way I hope it stays.  

Ballpit beast.

Jo Jingling.

I really recommend Jo Jingles to anyone with kids under about 4. Go to their website to find a class near you. www.jojingles.com