Getting the hang of it...

I'm going to regret saying this, but I think I'm finally getting to grips with two babies. Obviously, we still have our tough moments, well, tough days. But I finally look forward to getting up and spending the day with my little offspring. Alba seems much more settled, although she is still being sick for England. Jacob wasn't a sicky baby at all, I think he was only ever sick about 3 times and they were during chemotherapy. Alba, however, likes to be sick ALOT. And it comes out of her nose nearly every time. And her little face when she panics about it breaks my heart. My mum tells me I was exactly the same, every single time I was sick. As a child with a sickness bug, she would have to hold my head in the toilet otherwise it was like the fountains at the Bellagio in Vegas. I would decorate everywhere with sick. And to be completely honest, I'm still terrible now. I absolutely freak out every time I'm sick and cry like a baby. Which is why I have so much sympathy for my little doll. She seems happy enough otherwise though, which is brilliant. She sleeps so well at night and has slowly started to go longer between her bedtime bottle and night feed. So hopefully she will drop it soon enough and sleep through! Which would be AMAZING as Jacob didn't sleep through until Alba was born, which is weird. But I'll take it!

 Co-sleeping. Again. 

Night Monkey Day Monkey is by far my most favourite book of Jacob's at the moment. 

Today was a day of achievements for me, I braved going into town with both children by myself. We never bought a double pram as they're so huge and Jacob likes to walk alot anyway. Instead we got a buggyboard for Alba's pram. They're brilliant! Jacob thinks it's a ride so is happy stand on it when we go out. He does get off and walk a bit, but I bought reins for him so I don't have to leave the pram in the middle of the street to chase him if he tries to run away. I know a lot of people don't like kids wearing reins, but when you have a boisterous little boy like mine, they're necessary. I actually had a girl of about twelve point to Jacob and say to her little friend (in the most chavtastic voice) "I think that's disgusting!" She had to settle with a glare and me asking her "what did you say?!" as she was only 12. Had she been older I may have ran her over with the pram. Her friend then tried to fix it by saying "oh no he looks cute!!!" Damage done my friend. Yet another reason to dislike the youth of today. So, we managed to get round the whole town centre, actually go in about five shops, browse, queue and purchase things and then get home without any hiccups. I felt so pleased with not only myself, but so pleased with Jacob for behaving the whole time. The first time I went on my own, I ended up calling Rich to come and save me in Asda as I was on the brink of a meltdown.
Second achievement of the day; both babies are napping at the same time. I'm sure any parent of two little sleep stealers know how amazing this feels. So, I've taken the opportunity to write this, and to drink a HOT cup of tea. Most of the time, my tea is of a dodgy, lukewarm temperature. Or just cold. So a nice hot cup is just fabulous.
And the final achievement of the day; we went out to dinner! With the kids! It's my brother's birthday so we all went to dinner, which was lovely. I fed Jacob before we left as he normally has dinner around 5.30 and we wasn't going out until 6.30, plus, I knew he wouldn't eat out as they have a play area where we were going so getting him to sit still would be troublesome. But Rich and me both managed to eat our dinner without running for a muslin, or chasing Jacob back to the table, or chasing the dog out of the room so Jacob doesn't throw all of his food at him! It was bloody lovely! I even had a glass of wine. As Charlie Sheen would say, winning!

Jacob was so emotional on Thursday after his hospital appointment. Every little thing made him cry, and his eye was so sore and swollen, it looked like he'd been punched. It's gone down now, but getting him to have his eye drops was an absolute nightmare. I have never tried to bribe a child so much in my life. 

Bribery has been a theme of the last week, after the news that Jacob hasn't gained weight in about six months, I've been experimenting in kitchen a bit more. And trying to get him to eat more foods. More meals mainly. I've been adding cream to mash, cheese to pasta dishes, cream to scrambled eggs. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. Which is where I start bribing. Mainly with these Peppa Pig chocolate lollies that he is obsessed with. But it doesn't work. We've been good though, despite the total meltdowns, he doesn't get the lolly if he doesn't eat his dinner. As he is still young, I don't leave him to go hungry of course. Although I have been told he is old enough to not get  anything else if he doesn't eat dinner. I won't let him go to bed hungry, so he can still have fruit and yogurt for desert. Just no naughty treats.
I made cheese and broccoli savoury muffins yesterday. Silly me thought that because they looked like cakes, he would eat them. So when Jacob asked for "cakey", I took the opportunity and gave him one of the muffins I'd slaved over. He looked at it, licked it, then looked at me and said "No mummy, cakey!" Handing it back to me. Fail. The kid isn't silly. To be honest, I am so unbelievably crap at baking, (I actually forgot to put the milk in the muffin mix, but they still looked okay so served them up anyway.) So I'm not surprised he didn't want them. Next time!

Getting organised.

Whether its the post Christmas clear out, or I'm nesting rather early, I have gone nuts with clearing out and organising...EVERYTHING. I started with Jacobs toy box in the living room on Friday, he hardly plays with any of his toys that are downstairs except his little ride on car which cost about £10 and we only got it because we had a few pounds of leftover Argos vouchers, turns out to be one of his favourites. He is also still obsessed with his stacking cups and Hes got a Little Tikes car transporter thing that he loves too. Other than that, everything else gets ignored. So I was just brutal and put it all upstairs. However, what I didn't think about is where to put it all in Jacob's room. And its made me panic about where all the new baby's stuff is going to go. Which led to me clearing out the storage cupboard in our room...which also contains mostly Jacobs stuff. How the hell do people get rid of their first babys clothes?! I have 3 of those huge storage bags, filled with Jacobs clothes from newborn up until now that I just can't part with. And I've sorted through it all about a hundred times, trying to be more realistic each time. I even ended putting stuff from the charity donation bag I'd made up, back into the "keep" piles! We have our sexing/anomaly scan on Tuesday, and if we are cooking up a girl this time, I really don't know what I'm going to do with all this stuff. I looked at those memory quilts, as Jacob has a pillow and bear made of some of his first sleepsuits, but I think this quilt would probably cover most of the town.
I'm not sure if I'm having trouble parting with them as they were all "chemo" sleep suits, or "operation" sleepsuits and they hold a little bit more of a memory than they normally would? But frankly, I either need to get realistic, or hire a storage locker. Or get a bigger house, but who can afford a bigger house these days!

This then led to me organising my kitchen cupboards...basically, I'm certain I have a Tupperware issue. I have so many tubs and lunch boxes and snack boxes that you would think I was saving them up to build that bigger house. For weeks, every time I open the cupboard above the sink, it rained Tupperware. And then I'd launch it all back in and quickly shut the cupboard door. But no more! Organised heaven. I'm that pleased, I'd show you a photo, but I'm pretty sure you don't care less!

In between all the organising, we finally managed to go for a walk somewhere other than the woods by our house. Jacob is such an outdoors kid, and I do like being outside, just not when its freezing!!! He would stay out there forever though I think. Just Jacob and me went with my mum as she lives right next to the park. And we took her lunatic Jack Russell, Archie. Who will attack you if you pick up a stick and hold it for more than 3 seconds before launching it as far as possible. The walk paired with the fresh air absolutely wiped Jacob out, so getting from 3pm to bedtime at 7pm was a struggle. And at 6.45pm, Jacob seemed to get a second wind of energy...so bedtime was more like 8pm! He woke up extremely hungry again after not eating dinner, again. Although, he ate a whole bowl of porridge, banana, strawberries and a yogurt at breakfast this morning so that is an improvement!!! Fingers crossed it stays this way and he's getting his appetite back.

We've been busy!

Again, it's been ages since I posted. Jacob has become a crazed, little tantrum throwing toddler and that with Christmas and new year has just been chaos. The week before Christmas just flew by, and I started writing about 3 blog posts and never got round to finishing them.

Christmas was lovely, it was really nice not to cook this year as I have the last couple. Jacob still didn't really get Christmas and presents, he loved his toys we got him and everything he got from everyone else, but to an eighteen month old, it doesn't have quite the same effect as it does on a four or five year old. I cannot wait until he's up screaming that Santa has been in a few years time. That's when it gets more expensive though I hear, as they know what they want, and its usually everything!
I have to admit, I was quite moody Christmas day. All I wanted to do was eat pâté and brie and drink prosecco. And was fed up that I couldn't. Obviously, I'm glad to be pregnant and so excited, but I also love my food. And pâté is definitely a favourite of mine. Chicken liver to be specific, and that's a no no. So I stuck to plain old cheddar and some Boursin. Which I googled to check I was actually allowed it!!

Jacob had a check up at the Royal London Hospital this week, and I woke up Wednesday morning with a really bad feeling. I said to Rich "I don't think it's going to be good today." Taking Jacob down to theatre was chaos, he screamed the whole way as he must now remember what's going to happen. And then he buried his head in my neck when the doctors were trying to put his mask on so he could go to sleep. He really fought it this time, and I cried for the first time in ages walking back round to his bed. It may well have been pregnancy hormones, but I was so fed up of having to put him through this so regularly. He came back round quite quickly from theatre and unlike last time, he was not happy. He was so hungry, he practically inhaled his banana and started to choke. And by choke, I mean full on silent choking that felt like it lasted forever. Rich managed to give him a good pat on the back while he was tipped over his arm and he coughed it up. I was literally seconds away from screaming into the ward. Which would have terrified everybody. The first aid course we went to while I was pregnant came in handy. I realised how utterly useless I would probably be if I was on my own, and that's a little bit scary! I'm sure mothers instinct would kick in, but I definitely panicked a lot more than I'd have liked.
Mr Sagoo came round not long after and told us Jacob was still stable, which was brilliant as the day had gone so horribly so far, I thought there's no way its good news! We are back in nine weeks, which is the middle of March.

Elsewhere, Jacob has become a crazed One Direction fan. He absolutely loves them. It's become our calm down tool. If he is going nuts, we just switch them on and he's dancing away. I don't mind, as I secretly like them and I think Rich has had no choice but to become a fan either!
Jacob has had four teeth start coming over the last few weeks. And with it, he has become a very fussy eater. I don't know if its tied into the teething for sure as a few of my friends are having the same problem, but he will pick at everything. He hasn't eaten a full meal in about two weeks now. And this morning he was awake at 4.45am hungry! And even then, the only thing he would eat was half a brioche and a banana. After having a brilliant eater, it is really tough when they get fussy! I have tried everything. And he isn't at the "if you don't eat, you go hungry" stage yet so I am literally trying about 4 options every evening with dinner. A few people have told me not to do this as it can make it worse and then they get clever about it. So I think I may have to take a different approach! Any tips?!

Jacobs Routine.

Can you tell we are stuck at home?
Jacob is currently sleeping like a trooper, catching up on the last weeks worth of lost sleep I think! He has been asleep nearly four hours and I've actually found myself bored. This never happens. This post obviously doesn't apply to today/this week or even when he's poorly at all but I always love hearing about other babies and toddlers routines and have found it so helpful having so many friends who've all had little ones around the same time as we had Jacob. Every child is obviously different but this is Jacobs normal day to day routine.

 

6.30-7.30am is wake up time in our house. If we are really lucky, Jacob will sometimes sleep until nearly 8. If its closer to 7.30, I'll bring Jacob into our room and let him wake Rich up for work, otherwise its down stairs for some Disney Junior or CBeebies.

8am Jacob normally wakes up pretty hungry so I get breakfast ready quite quickly. He normally has cheerios and some kind of fruit, normally blueberries or a banana, and has milk to drink.

9/9.30am We get ready for the day normally and I try to get Jacob to drink some fresh orange to keeps his bowels on the go! (Sorry if TMI!)

10am If we are doing anything before lunch such as a bit of shopping, this is normally the time we will do this as its just before his nap. Otherwise Jacob will normally potter around and entertain himself while I do a few things around the house (which I'll admit has been rare since becoming pregnant, although the last two weeks I've gotten a bit more motivated!) Jacob will normally have a little snack around now too, just maybe a rusk which he still loves or some of the Heinz Biscotti.

11.30am This is usually nap time. Since Jacob dropped to one nap, we've found that going around this time normally works best as he has quite unsettled nights a lot so can be quite flaked by this time. He normally naps for 1 and a half to 2 hours. Recently, I've been using this time to get a few things done if I've been lazy or had a clingy monster in the morning, and sometimes have a sneaky little snooze myself although since the morning (all day) sickness stopped, I've not been so desperate for it as usual so will just normally sit and revel in the quiet.

1-1.30pm Lunchtime! Sometimes Jacob can wake up absolutely ravenous and screams the place down so recently I've started to try and have his lunch ready.  He'll normally have a sandwich of some kind, bagel or pasta. Crisps or those mini organix rice cakes or their carrot puffs, although I'm horrible and don't let him have "real" crisps everyday. If we've gotten a food shop in too (which we are terrible at, daily trips to tesco in this house!) Jacob will normally have cucumber and cherry tomatoes too and always some kind of fruit. And he usually finishes off with a yogurt.

2.30pm This is normally when I try to do some sort of activity with Jacob, normally a walk or wrapping up and playing in the garden. Although the weather is making this more difficult of late so I stocked up on some crafty bits. He's gotten into painting and stuff and if he wakes up in a good mood, I'm planning on making Christmas cards this afternoon. But we will see!!

5.30pm Dinnertime. We do try to all eat together as a family, obviously this isn't always possible but try we do! Jacob normally eats what we eat but on the days when we are having a later dinner or something not very Jakey friendly, the Annabelle Karmel or the Little Dish toddler meals are nice and quick and he always eats every last bite. I normally have left overs in the freezer but always forget about them and they end up getting chucked in the bin. Last week I threw away six separate dinners that I'd frozen. Jacob will normally have a yoghurt or something naughty like a little cake or chocolate biscuit for pudding. He drinks water or really weak squash throughout the day. Rich banned fruit shoots as he read an article about them having some ingredient in them thats proven to make kids naughty. I'm pretty sure that's the sugar!

6.30pm Bath time, although Jacob normally only has a bath every other day as his skin is so sensitive and dries out really easily! We normally do the bedtime routine together as Rich wouldn't have seen Jacob much if its a weekday and to be honest, he's such a terror it takes two of us to chase him round and get him into his PJ's!

7pm Bedtime. Jacob picks about 700 books to read and then we read the same one about four times before he goes into his cot. He usually settles off quite well. He does still wake up a fair few times a night, normally crying because he can't find his dummy. But usually stays in his cot until the morning and we start the whole routine again!

Obviously this isn't always the case, if we have a play date or Jo Jingles, it normally gets wiggled around a bit. But I am known as a bit of a routine drill sergeant to my family when it comes to Jacob. It will probably bite me in the backside in time to come!

4am is the new 7am.

Oh my gosh, I don't think I've been this tired since Jacob was first born. We've recently decided that afternoon naps are no longer necessary (again) and that its completely normal to get up for the day at 4am. He's just gone down for a nap and it's only 8.30, which is going to ruin his whole day now. Yes, I am a routine drill Sargent. Jacob has always had the same sort of routine so if anything changes, it just messes up his whole day. So the 8.30am nap means he will be an absolute grotbag by around 1pm. And if he skips his afternoon nap again, he will be a total sleep deprived monster by bedtime and then we can do it all over again. We have been very lucky with Jacob going down to bed. From around six weeks old, he had a bath, bottle then bed. At first, he went in his Moses basket in our room and we'd leave him to go off on his own, although for the first few nights, I would sit outside our room or peer round the door until he went to sleep. Then he went into his own room at 3 and a half months as he filled his Moses basket and we wanted him to be used to it before his chemo started as we didn't want an upheaval when he would be feeling rubbish anyway. The times obviously changed as he got older and settled more into a routine with feeding and daily naps and bedtime slowly dropped from 10pm to 7pm which it is now. Although last night he went to bed at 6pm as he was so tired. I wish babies understood when you explained to them that if they slept, they wouldn't feel so pooped. Jacob just looks at me like I'm mad when he's throwing a wobbly and I'm stood there going "well Jacob, if you'd have slept or gotten up at a normal time this would be happening right now would it." I just get another scream as a response.
So right now, with the first bit of quiet I've had since 4.45am, I am torn between having a nap, washing my hair or having a cup of tea (as I couldn't drink the first one I made due to my insane little monster refusing to allow me to sit still.)

...So, I opted for all three, and managed to squeeze them all in! Well I didn't really have a nap, just laid on the bed revelling in the silence. And I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea more in my life. Jacob slept for around two hours, and woke up in a reasonably good mood! We've started going for a walk after his morning nap, just to kill some time really because he normally is quite miserable between his morning nap and lunch. Plus it builds up his appetite a bit! We've had some trouble with him eating since we've been letting him sit at his little table and chairs to eat, he gets up and looses interest quite quickly. He still eats, but just takes a lot longer and then he gets bored. So I think we may go back to the booster seat at the table.
My dad and step mum came over with my little sister this afternoon, and for the first time, I saw Jacob being a bit of a monkey with sharing his toys. My little sister is nearly 3 so she's still learning about sharing too. But Jacob was trying to take everything Katie picked up. And he was not happy when I took it back to Katie. This age is definitely living up to its reputation as "the hard stage." My happy, independent boy has become a miserable clingbot. He woke up from his afternoon nap extremely unhappy and sat on my lap eating his rice cakes through groans and moans. Rich played some ball with him when he got home from work so I could cook dinner, which probably would have proved a mission with Jacob hanging off my leg! I feel like I constantly repeat myself, but I really hope he sleeps better tonight!

We went to Wild & Wacky as usual on Monday and to Jo Jingles. Jacob really enjoyed himself. He climbed around all of the soft play and went up to the slide all by himself which he never normally does. And he stood up and participated in most of Jo Jingles. He was hilarious, just wandering around like he owned the place. 

 The troublesome twosome...

 "Participate" also means "eat the instruments."

 Walking.

 We went to the park on Tuesday to try and burn some energy so Jacob had an afternoon nap. It failed.

 Jacob is obsessed with this tree stump in the woods behind our house. 

Cruising in Jacob's car.

I am arranging a fundraiser for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust as I couldn't make the Carrots Night walk this year, which we did last year and raised an unbelievable £7000! In all honesty, I just totally forgot to sign up this year which is a bummer because I really wanted to do it as it was quite good fun and I met some amazing people last year. So, to ease my guilt for being useless and forgetting, I have decided to throw a children's Halloween Disco. Originally, I was going to just have a Halloween party at home for my friends and their children, but my friend suggested we turn it into a fundraiser. So since last week, I have been planning that! It's quite stressful but people have been so generous with raffle prizes and donations. Its so lovely to know there are people out there who want to help. I'm sure it will be worth all the stress and worry on the day! And I cannot wait to dress Jacob up in some crazy costume!

Food nightmares and fundraising events.

We have had an absolute nightmare with food this week. Jacob hasn't wanted to eat hardly a thing, and he's redecorated our living room almost everyday with the food he's thrown up the walls. He's eaten his toast for breakfast most mornings, then won't touch hardly a thing the rest of the day unless it's a digestive from the biscuit tin or fruit, yoghurt or cucumber. Which is normally a tell tale sign of teething with him. And we've also continued with the horrendous nights and getting him into our bed just to get some sleep. So after checking today, there's a nice big molar on its way through! Hopefully it won't last too long. Why can't every single tooth come at once then it's all done and dusted?! 

We went to Wild & Wacky on Tuesday for the first time in ages, Jo Jingles doesn't run during the school holidays and we've just not ended up going there to be honest. Jo Jingles starts again on Monday so we will back to our weekly trips. It was the first time I'd taken Jacob since he has started walking too and he seemed to enjoy himself much more. A little boy got a bit heavy handed with him and was basically dragging Jacob around by the back of his tshirt and I went into full on crazy protective mum mode. I didn't enjoy it but I think my crazed glare at the little boy did the trick as he didn't go near him again. I know kids mean no harm most of the time but it's so easy to get all crazy lioness when you see your little ones taking a pasting from another kid. I am like it with Teddy too. When I was pregnant, this kid that was about 5 years older than Teddy, who wasn't even 2 at the time, shoved him out of one of those ride ons that every parent tries to avoid outside the supermarket. Teddy literally came out of it backwards and landed on his back. So I got up thinking I was all brave (pregnancy hormones trick you into thinking you're tough. And I am not tough.) and started shouting about how people should be watching their children, only to find the parents were sitting on the table next to me with far too many empty wine glasses on. Awkward. I thought I was going to be killed by a table of tanked up women. Anyways, other than the little boy carrying Jacob around like a ragdoll, it was quite good fun. He slept well in the afternoon! Somehow we are back to two naps a day, but I'm not complaining at the moment because with the sleepless nights, I quite appreciate the extra break.

Finally climbing things at Wild & Wacky.

Jacob is slowly starting to fit into some of his 9-12 months clothing. I love this outfit. The tshirt is from Next, the joggers are H&M, his bibble is from It's A Bibble and his trainers are Converse.

We were asked by CHECT if we would go to a fundraising event on Friday. It was to meet a group of 32 cyclists that are doing the Ride4Sight in order to raise money for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust. Its a 150 mile bike ride from Stratford to Nottingham over two days. CHECT have done so much for us, so we were more than happy to go and talk to people and thank the cyclists for what they're doing for the charity. So far they've raised over £25k which is unbelievable. We met a few other families which was lovely as it is always nice to talk to other people going through what we are. The hotel where the meeting was was lovely. We had tea and cake and everyone knows I love some free food. We met Darren Harris who had Rb as a child and has been left with almost no sight at all and he is now a paralympian, playing football for Great Britain. Meeting him was such a pleasure and he is such an inspiration. It really made me see that Jacob will still be able to do almost anything he wants to. Jacob was a bit overwhelmed by all the new faces and everyone chatting to him but he did really well. We hadn't planned anything for dinner as we thought we'd just grab something on the way home, but not all the cyclists arrived at once and we didn't want to seem rude and leave but the charity arranged for the hotel to cook Jacob some dinner which was so kind of them. I was quite apprehensive about going to the event as I get so emotional at things like that but I am so glad we went. It was a really lovely afternoon and Jacob had a fab time running around like he owned the place! 

Strolling around like he owns the place.

Rocking his oversized CHECT tshirt.

Some of the cyclists arriving.

 Picnic! 

WE NEED SLEEP!

So after the horrendous Saturday night with Jacob, I'd hoped that Sunday night might have seen him get back to his normal sleep habits. But apparently somebody thought it would be funny to leave me with the no sleeping, screaming infant as opposed to the sleeping (most of the time) quiet baby I'm used to. It was bang on the same time as Saturday night that he woke up. 11.30pm. After an hour, I gave in again and brought him into our bed. I knooooow it's bad! But I was so tired. Not that it made much difference because he fidgeted all night and then wanted to get up at 5.30. Talk about torture! I think the issue is that Jacob is ready to drop one of his daytime naps but it is so hard to try and work it out so that he doesn't go too early or too late. Yesterday we tried just the one nap after lunch. He only had around an hour which is a lot less than the 3 hours he would have over two naps but last night he went to bed earlier than usual, so 7pm instead of 8pm and slept through! So I had planned to stick to that today, but his second set of immunisations were today and apparently they give them sleeping drugs of some kind because as soon as we got in the car, he crashed out. At 10am!!! This was completely not part of my master plan!!! He's gone to bed okay, but I don't expect another sleep through! He has been quite grumpy today after his immunisations, and he got quite poorly last time after around 10 days so I'm hoping these ones don't go the same way. He did have the MMR on his first lot and I've heard that can be the one that wipes them out. He only had two today as opposed to five vaccines so fingers crossed he's okay this time!

Post imms snooze.

I got rid of Jacobs huge highchair today, it was a really lovely wooden one which also converted into a table and chairs but I really wanted him to have a booster seat that goes on our dining chairs so he can sit at the table with us. We try to all eat dinner together every night unless we are obviously having a late one. So I like for Jacob to sit at the table with us. I bought him a "Munchkin" travel booster seat. It was a right bargain at £14 and it folds up and looks like a bag so you can take it out with you. Obviously I'm not going to strut around the town centre with it, but it's handy to chuck in the car if we are going to my mums or something. He really loved it, but as always, most of his food made it's way to the floor. It was nice for him to actually be at the table with us too. 

Before the mess...

Oh dear...

Bathtime.

Im actually contemplating going to bed already and it's only 8pm. Wish me luck for tonight!