Getting the hang of it...

I'm going to regret saying this, but I think I'm finally getting to grips with two babies. Obviously, we still have our tough moments, well, tough days. But I finally look forward to getting up and spending the day with my little offspring. Alba seems much more settled, although she is still being sick for England. Jacob wasn't a sicky baby at all, I think he was only ever sick about 3 times and they were during chemotherapy. Alba, however, likes to be sick ALOT. And it comes out of her nose nearly every time. And her little face when she panics about it breaks my heart. My mum tells me I was exactly the same, every single time I was sick. As a child with a sickness bug, she would have to hold my head in the toilet otherwise it was like the fountains at the Bellagio in Vegas. I would decorate everywhere with sick. And to be completely honest, I'm still terrible now. I absolutely freak out every time I'm sick and cry like a baby. Which is why I have so much sympathy for my little doll. She seems happy enough otherwise though, which is brilliant. She sleeps so well at night and has slowly started to go longer between her bedtime bottle and night feed. So hopefully she will drop it soon enough and sleep through! Which would be AMAZING as Jacob didn't sleep through until Alba was born, which is weird. But I'll take it!

 Co-sleeping. Again. 

Night Monkey Day Monkey is by far my most favourite book of Jacob's at the moment. 

Today was a day of achievements for me, I braved going into town with both children by myself. We never bought a double pram as they're so huge and Jacob likes to walk alot anyway. Instead we got a buggyboard for Alba's pram. They're brilliant! Jacob thinks it's a ride so is happy stand on it when we go out. He does get off and walk a bit, but I bought reins for him so I don't have to leave the pram in the middle of the street to chase him if he tries to run away. I know a lot of people don't like kids wearing reins, but when you have a boisterous little boy like mine, they're necessary. I actually had a girl of about twelve point to Jacob and say to her little friend (in the most chavtastic voice) "I think that's disgusting!" She had to settle with a glare and me asking her "what did you say?!" as she was only 12. Had she been older I may have ran her over with the pram. Her friend then tried to fix it by saying "oh no he looks cute!!!" Damage done my friend. Yet another reason to dislike the youth of today. So, we managed to get round the whole town centre, actually go in about five shops, browse, queue and purchase things and then get home without any hiccups. I felt so pleased with not only myself, but so pleased with Jacob for behaving the whole time. The first time I went on my own, I ended up calling Rich to come and save me in Asda as I was on the brink of a meltdown.
Second achievement of the day; both babies are napping at the same time. I'm sure any parent of two little sleep stealers know how amazing this feels. So, I've taken the opportunity to write this, and to drink a HOT cup of tea. Most of the time, my tea is of a dodgy, lukewarm temperature. Or just cold. So a nice hot cup is just fabulous.
And the final achievement of the day; we went out to dinner! With the kids! It's my brother's birthday so we all went to dinner, which was lovely. I fed Jacob before we left as he normally has dinner around 5.30 and we wasn't going out until 6.30, plus, I knew he wouldn't eat out as they have a play area where we were going so getting him to sit still would be troublesome. But Rich and me both managed to eat our dinner without running for a muslin, or chasing Jacob back to the table, or chasing the dog out of the room so Jacob doesn't throw all of his food at him! It was bloody lovely! I even had a glass of wine. As Charlie Sheen would say, winning!

Jacob was so emotional on Thursday after his hospital appointment. Every little thing made him cry, and his eye was so sore and swollen, it looked like he'd been punched. It's gone down now, but getting him to have his eye drops was an absolute nightmare. I have never tried to bribe a child so much in my life. 

Bribery has been a theme of the last week, after the news that Jacob hasn't gained weight in about six months, I've been experimenting in kitchen a bit more. And trying to get him to eat more foods. More meals mainly. I've been adding cream to mash, cheese to pasta dishes, cream to scrambled eggs. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. Which is where I start bribing. Mainly with these Peppa Pig chocolate lollies that he is obsessed with. But it doesn't work. We've been good though, despite the total meltdowns, he doesn't get the lolly if he doesn't eat his dinner. As he is still young, I don't leave him to go hungry of course. Although I have been told he is old enough to not get  anything else if he doesn't eat dinner. I won't let him go to bed hungry, so he can still have fruit and yogurt for desert. Just no naughty treats.
I made cheese and broccoli savoury muffins yesterday. Silly me thought that because they looked like cakes, he would eat them. So when Jacob asked for "cakey", I took the opportunity and gave him one of the muffins I'd slaved over. He looked at it, licked it, then looked at me and said "No mummy, cakey!" Handing it back to me. Fail. The kid isn't silly. To be honest, I am so unbelievably crap at baking, (I actually forgot to put the milk in the muffin mix, but they still looked okay so served them up anyway.) So I'm not surprised he didn't want them. Next time!

Its that time of year...

So this week our whole house has come down with a cold. Which might explain the unhappy boy we had for the beginning of the week. I always feel so guilty if Jacob is going through a fussy or clingy stage for a few days then comes down with something. Especially after I've left him to cry it out or tried the tough love approach. This is why babies should be born with the ability to talk! It would be much more helpful! But then I guess that would take the fun out of it. On Thursday night, I walked round to our shop, and when I say walk, I went REALLY slowly as it had been a long day with Jacob being extremely miserable and not wanting anyone but me. We had run out of calpol and Jacob was getting snottier by the minute, so I was like "I'll go!" As awful as I felt, I just needed five minutes peace. I was stood in the shop armed with calpol, biscuits and diet coke and was just standing staring at the chocolate and the shop assistant looked at me, laughed and said "Can't decide what you want?" And I just laughed and said "nope!" When actually all I wanted to do was cry and say "my little boy has a cold and I don't know what to do!!!!" It's so silly, but Jacobs cancer doesn't actually show any symptoms, he isn't "ill" with it. When he was having chemo he was obviously ill quite alot, but I always knew how to deal with it. Give me a baby with a cold and I'm useless. On Thursday night, Rich slept on the sofa as Jacob wouldn't settle anywhere but in our bed, and as he had work, it made sense for him to sleep downstairs where he would get a decent night's sleep. Jacob was so restless all night, I think I must have had about an hours sleep in total. Jacob was still quite ropey Friday but slept much better that night, he stayed in his own cot until around 4 when he wouldn't settle back off so into our bed he came! Back into that bad habit again! He wouldn't give in and go back to sleep so by 5.45, Rich got up with him so I could get a couple hours sleep. When Rich gets up with him, the minute I appear at the bottom of the stairs, Jacob goes nuts and becomes a mega mummy's boy. (Which I secretly love) So yesterday, he was in extra "need mummy" mode. I literally couldn't get dressed until about 2pm, which I absolutely hate doing. I have to get up, have my cup of tea, get washed and get dressed otherwise it wrecks me for the day. It must be where Jacob gets the routine OCD from! Jacob slept until around 7am this morning which was so much better and it seemed to do him the world of good as he was much much happier. Thank goodness! He didn't even cry when I put him down on the sofa and went to make his milk. He hasn't napped again all morning and just as I was dishing up Sunday lunch, Rich sat with him on the sofa and within about 10 seconds he was asleep! Typical. He took a long time to settle in bed tonight which is unlike him but definitely seemed much better! I'm so glad because we have his check up at The Royal London on Wednesday and they won't see him if he's poorly! I'm so nervous for this check up as six weeks is the longest break we've ever had between appointments. I will obviously be over the moon if he is still stable, but I never go with that expectation because I don't like to set myself up for disappointment. But on the other hand, because he's done so well and not needed treatment for nearly 3 months, I think I'll be gutted if he does need treatment. But you can't plan for these things and you can't tell the future, so as always, we will deal with whatever happens on the day the same way we always do.

He actually ate today! Demanded a banana, so a banana he got! 

 As he was in a good mood, we did some baking. Well Jacob launched cake mix up the walls.

 I'm a terrible baker, so we cheated and used a Peppa Pig box mix! 

Spending quality time with Lex.

Family Days.

I really look forward to Rich's days off at the moment. I think it's probably because since being given a four week break, I know that a day off doesn't mean we have a hospital appointment. Sundays are usually my favourite. We don't have to be doing anything, I just love us all spending the day together. This Sunday, we just spent the day in the garden. Jacob absolutely loves being outside. Whether it's bright sunshine or raining, he wants to be out there. We ate breakfast out there, I made American pancakes (from scratch!!!) and Jacob ate them, which I was really happy about. Although I could give that kid anything and he'd eat it. Something he gets from me I think, Rich is so unbelievably fussy when it comes to food and I was determined for Jacob not be like that. I will eat anything, except corned beef. That isn't real food. It freaks me out. I had a bit of a baking bug on Sunday too and I'd had an Ella's Kitchen Pear and Raspberry oaty crumble recipe that I'd wanted to make for ages but just hadn't gotten round to it. I was really impressed with how it turned out because I'm actually pretty useless at baking. We had it for pudding after dinner, I ate so much I felt sick afterward.

Jacob has gotten really into books lately, he absolutely loves the "That's not my..." collection and "Dear Zoo." He has to be read "Dear Zoo" every night before bed and he lifts all the flaps himself. I love this because it shows how well he copes with the one eye because they are quite fiddly but he manages just fine. The same with the "That's not my..." books. They have little touchy feely bits on the pages and he can see the difference straight away and goes straight for them. 

Book morning.

My two most favourite people.

Enjoying my homemade crumble. The recipe is from Ella's Kitchen "The Red One Cook Book." Or you can get it here on the Mother & Baby website.

It was so nice so I'd recommend it! Really easy to do too.

It was my brothers birthday on Monday and he loves animals and wildlife so we arranged to go to Colchester Zoo. I couldn't wait because Jacob absolutely loves animals too so I knew he'd enjoy it. We went with my brother Aaron, his girlfriend Lou and her sister Ashleigh came along too. I love Colchester Zoo but it's like a maze! They have one "easy" route that they recommended for wheelchair users or people with strollers, but it looked like it skipped half of the animals. So we just wandered around, getting lost and going back on ourselves. But we saw everything so that didn't matter! It turns out they'd mapped put the easier route for a reason, pushing Jacob's stroller up some of the "non-easy route" hills was a nightmare, especially when I'd loaded it up with a picnic for six (which included 8 cans of diet coke!) plus Jacobs stuff. I definitely got a work out included in my entry fee. 

We fed the elephants while we were there which I couldn't wait to do, I took Jacob with me and he just kept trying to grab hold of it's trunk. The kid actually has no fear. He tried to climb over the fence to go hang out with the monkeys at one point too. He didn't have a nap which was great because he didn't miss anything, so I was expecting some grumpiness towards the end but he was brilliant. And he was carried around by Lou and her sister which was amazing because he had started to get quite clingy the last few months and not wanting to go to anybody. He absolutely loves Lou anyway, but took such a shine to her sister. He was just staring at her and smiling all the time. One year old and already trying to get a girlfriend!!! 

Jacob slept the whole way home which was good because we were having everyone over for takeaway and birthday cake so he had a little bit more of a late night than usual. And slept til 7am this morning! Which is glorious! We have a play date with Jonah today which I love because they've started to really notice each other now and they're like little friends. 

I'm off to clear up all the Cheerios that have just been launched across the living room. Have a great day!

He's getting too grown up...

My family.

Uncle Aaron and Lou Lou.

I want one. 

He wants to be a monkey.

xo