Three becomes four...

Well five if you include the dog...

Alba Maxwell Wright arrived 6 days late on Thursday June 4th at 10.57am. She weighed a nice 8lbs 9 and a half ounces. Exactly one pound more than her big brother. And I'm pretty sure that whole extra pound was in her cheeks. 

I had started to get pretty fed up by the time I'd reached 40 weeks. Well pretty fed up is an understatement, I was extremely pissed off. Jacob was a day early and apparently subsequent babies arrive earlier. I now do not believe any of these old wives tales. None of them. I did everything to get this baby out. She was having none of it. So when I woke up at 4.30am on that Thursday with what I was certain was contractions, you'd think I'd have been overjoyed. Except the reality of having another baby hit me and I started freaking out. I was worried I wouldn't actually know I was in labour as I was so uncomfortable and in pain for the last few weeks, but my god, when it starts for real, you know. It all came crashing back. By 6am my contractions has sped up to every 3-5 minutes so my sister got her nice wake up call to come and collect Jacob and we went off to the hospital. Four and a half hours later, our last piece to our family puzzle arrived. And she is perfect. 

Labour this time round was a lot more painful and as she was in a rush to get out, I only had gas and air for the pain. Although I begged for an epidural! Alba needed her lungs inflated and oxygen when she was born which was very scary and after the longest two minutes of my whole life, she screamed the place down. And hasn't stopped since! It is amazing how different two babies can be. Jacob wasn't a very clingy baby at all, hardly ever wanted feeding, I remember if I stopped feeding to wind him, he would refuse to take anymore so it was a total challenge to see how much milk he would take before it was absolutely necessary to wind him. Alba however loves mummy cuddles, which is lovely, but also very challenging with a two year old fighting for attention too! She also loves her milk! She had actually gained weight at her five day check, and has been stuffing her face since. It's good to know she's doing well though. She was also tested for the cancer gene which Jacob carries and she got the all clear! Which is amazing. If there was even a 1% chance she had it, she would need screening under general anaesthetic for the first few years of her life. So to say we were over the moon would be an understatement. The doctor who called with the results must have wondered what was going on as I was absolutely hysterical on the phone. I'd blame it on the hormones, but I'm pretty sure I'd have been the same with or without them!

Jacob also turned two while I've been neglecting this blog! He has changed so much in the last month. There are new words coming out of his mouth almost daily, and it is so nice to be able to get answers from him when I ask questions. Although if I ask what he wants for lunch, the answer is always "cakey". Someone has developed a major sweet tooth recently and also become a bit slack with teeth brushing. Not a good combination. He has some time on the naughty step most evenings now when it comes to brushing his teeth. But we get there in the end! Alot of his naughty habits have come around in the last few weeks since Alba arrived, which I completely expected so I have allowed a little bit more breathing space than normal as I am sure it is an unbelievably unsettling time for him. He is an amazing big brother though which makes up for a lot of it. He is so good with her, although we've had a few instances where he has tried to feed her his breakfast. Again, expected.

Rich went back to work yesterday, so it's just me and the babies, and we are now most of the way through Tuesday and we are all still here. So that's a good sign to me! I'm sure it will be a different story by Thursday!

A few things I've learnt in the 19 days of being a mother of a newborn and a toddler..

• When the toddler naps, the baby is guaranteed to cry and wake said toddler up, and vice versa. They're a scheming duo.

• You will feel like you spend your whole day changing nappies.

• A shower is a total luxury, a bath is like winning the lottery.

• You will eat more biscuits and drink more tea than your body knows how to deal with.

• The tiredness isn't any easier second time round. If anything, it's tougher. I've actually drank Red Bull in a bid to stay awake.

• Your washing machine is never empty, and most of the time you will leave a wash in there for two days and end up washing it another 3 times before remembering to hang it on the line.

• Your toddler now gets to play with anything they want while you feed the baby. Including the dog poo you didn't pick up from the garden. (This actually happened today.)

• Your toddler now gets to eat a lot more crap than usual, and play on their iPad a lot more than usual. Despite me swearing this wouldn't happen.

• You'll surprise yourself at the things you can do with one hand. I actually learnt this the first time round but the list gets longer the second time, such as change a toddlers nappy.

• The feeling you get when you catch your usually rogue toddler stroking his little sisters head is indescribable.

• The same as when both babies are curled up on you on the sofa.

I was scared that I wouldn't love her as much as Jacob and didn't know how it would be possible, but my friend said something her mum told her, "you just have more love" Even if you didn't think it was possible, it is. And I genuinely couldn't imagine life without her now. Even when she is screaming the house down and waking Jacob up at 3am. But please do me a favour, if you see me in the street, don't tell me how much of a mess I look, or be offended if I cant remember your name. I just about remember my own.

Pregnancy Insomnia.

It's 4.30am. I've been awake for nearly two hours. After fighting the hunger and trying to get back to sleep, I've finally given in and made myself a cup of tea and eaten a banana. I can hear the dog snoring through the floor from the kitchen which hasn't helped my cause at all, and I would normally let him come get into bed with me but he is well overdue a bath and smells horrendous. Rich is asleep on the sofa because I have been a nightmare to sleep with the last few nights and he spent all of yesterday popping migraine pills like M and M's. It wasn't until I told him that you were only supposed to take 1-2 tablets 3 times over the course of 24 hours that he realised he was one more pill from an overdose. Why don't men ever read the manual?
I bought myself a book yesterday as I have had more bad nights than good lately and I thought that would hopefully help in the middle of the night, but nope, I forgot to buy a bulb for my lamp. So instead, I've laid here for two hours overthinking everything ever that has ever happened in the whole entire history of the world. Actually, I've laid thinking about labour pains, who I'd like to come see us in hospital, what pain relief I'm going to have, what I'll wear in the birthing pool if I get to go in there, what time I'll go into labour, how will Jacob cope, what photos I want my mum to take. It doesn't end. And then after that I start thinking about the whacko dreams I've had in the one hour bursts of sleep I've gotten tonight. One of them was about my friends daughter who went missing but she'd actually gone into hiding and then sent a letter saying she was going to kill everyone, but the letter was in one of my other friends very distinctive handwriting. And then another dream was the Mafia kept coming every time Rich filled the car up with diesel and were stealing it straight out of his tank. Oh and the last one before I gave up trying to sleep was Eva Longoria was my friend but all she wanted to do was exhume some friend of hers because she wanted her face. Has Eva Longoria not seen her face, why on earth would she ever want to swap it? Reading that back, I probably should have kept some of that to myself as if a psychiatrist is reading it, there's a chance I'll get locked up. But, I'm wide awake and bored, so that's that. It is mental what pregnancy does to you. All of yesterday, I was in such a shitty mood, all because I wanted some sugar ring donuts from Sainsburys. And as a non driving human, I could not be bothered to walk there. It only takes 15 minutes and I honestly don't mind walking, but that was just ludicrous to me at the time.
Some good news was that the baby's changing bag arrived. Although I had sent a really snotty email to the delivery company not long before as they didn't think it was necessary to update their tracking info so I was sat waiting, contemplating not walking to Sainsburys. I didn't want to go out, but I wasn't happy about having the choice taken away from me. They replied pretty quickly saying it should be delivered within the next 48 hours. Well that's fab. So, with the hump, thinking it wouldn't be coming yesterday, I went to nap. Except the minute I dosed off, some big brute of a delivery driver was bashing my door down, delivering car parts for a man who doesn't live here. Awesome. He was possibly the loudest man I'd ever met. And he woke Jacob up from his nap. And that boy does not like to be woken from a nap. The afternoon was not going well. Especially when I come down stairs to find a "We attempted to deliver your parcel" note from the company who were delivering my changing bag. They had obviously rang the doorbell which isn't working. If only the car parts delivery man had done the same thing. So my parcel was with my very peculiar neighbour and they're the only other people that are home in the day. I contemplated waiting and making Rich go get it from them when he got in from work, but excitement got the better of me. It took ten thousand very loud knocks for them to finally open the door. Then the kid who looked like he should be at school, stared at the delivery note for what felt like a week before I pointed out the parcel on the floor behind him. The very bright, spotty package with Cath Kidston written all over it. MINE!
And now Lady Wright is packed and ready for hospital. The bag isn't as big as I thought it was, but it's still cute. And has lots of pockets and compartments. And I love a pocket or compartment. Loser.

I am now officially 37 weeks, which means this baby is cooked! So come on then Lady... We cannot wait to meet you.

Have you seen that episode of "Friends" where Phoebe's new boyfriend shoots the bird in the morning? It must have been from the same family of birds that are outside my house right now. They've been tweeting away for over an hour and they seem to have been joined by seagulls on steroids. I am definitely not getting back to sleep. 

We have a play date this morning, and you just know today will be the day that Jacob decides to have a lay in after nearly 3 weeks of bad nights and early wake up calls. I wish I was allowed to drink Red Bull...

4am.

Bump Update: 36 Weeks Pregnant!!!!

Oh my goodness, I don't remember being this uncomfortable before. So this bump update is probably going to be me moaning more than anything. This pregnancy has been so much more tough than with Jacob, most likely because I have a toddler to chase around. A toddler that doesn't need sugar to behave like a child that has been given all the sweets in the land. He is 100 miles an hour all the time. To be honest, I think that's why I've started to panic that I've gotten to 36 weeks pregnant and haven't actually accepted it yet. I haven't had the time! I cannot believe that in possibly 4 weeks (well anytime from next Friday really) that we will have a newborn in the house. And I won't be pregnant anymore! I have done nothing but complain this pregnancy which I feel horrible about as I loved being pregnant with Jacob and honestly don't think I moaned once. But I have started to realise that soon, the bump will be no more, and I will miss it. We don't plan on anymore children after this one. Never say never, but for now, two is enough for us.

Midwife appointments are every two weeks now which I like as you get to hear the baby's heartbeat each time and being panicky Polly, this keeps me happy that she's happy! I had to go get monitored in hospital last week as Lady Wright thought she'd have a lazy day and not move, and any reductions in movements should always be checked out. Luckily everything was fine, and I had an irritable uterus which I had with Jacob. Basically, I think this means that you get tightenings much like Braxton Hicks and I suppose the baby just chills out til they're done. I have had Braxton Hicks contractions loads this time! It's terrifying because it's like a reminder of what's to come and as Jacob was in a rush to get out, I didn't have pain relief, so I remember all of the pain. And this time, I can honestly say I am a bit scared! I cannot wait to meet our little girl, but there is definitely more fear this time!!! When I was being monitored, we were in the same room where labour started with Jacob, and the room he was actually born in was opposite and empty so the door was open. I really freaked out and got a bit emotional seeing it as I hadn't been back there since he was born. It has also made me very excited too. I'm hoping to get to go into the water this time as the birthing unit where all the pools were was full when I had Jacob. It was a busy baby day!

Strapped up to the monitor! (And yes, I have edited this picture to hide my newly adopted whale arms. Vain I know.)

I had a babyshower last week organised by my brothers girlfriend Lou and my sister. It was really lovely, I didn't really want one this time as more than anything, I couldn't be bothered. Which is dreadful. But I'm glad I let Lou talk me into it as it was a lovely day and I got to catch up with all of my friends. We went for a bit of an afternoon tea theme, although not much tea got drank, but there was so much cake! I still have some left now. Which is not good! Lady Wright also got very spoiled with some beautiful clothes which I cannot wait to put her in! Below are a few pics!

I haven't bought half as much this time around as Jacob ended up with so much stuff, most of it only got worn once, if at all. I did finally order a changing bag too. I went with the Cath Kidston one I wanted originally as it looks quite roomy, big enough for two children's things!!! Plus it had shorter handles as well as the long strap which I liked as it will be easier to carry if I'm loaded up carrying two kids too! I'm going to look like a donkey.

My hospital bag is pretty much packed, I just need to get a couple more little things and a lightweight dressing gown and I think that's me done! The baby's stuff is all ready too, I just have to wash it and put it all into her bag when it arrives this week. Its all getting very real now!!!

I have started to get so hungry again too, I eat dinner, then an hour later I'm hungry. It is so hard to not just pig out on crisps and sweets and chocolate at night time as I'm so tired usually. I've been trying to have a bowl of reasonably healthy cereal such as Shredded Wheat or Weetabix or something like that. Although the Frosties and Coco Pops do win a lot! We've always got so much cereal in as I am quite partial to a bowl even when I'm not pregnant.
Sitting on the sofa has become a challenge in itself too. I have been trying to sit on my birthing ball more often than the sofa, not only because its good for me and helps the baby into position, but getting off the sofa is such a drama. Rich just sits laughing at me lolloping around like a seal. So glamorous!!! The same at bedtime, I have to get up to pee about eight thousand times a night at the moment and its such a work out! Haha.
I am going to miss being pregnant, but definitely not being so immobile. And I think Jacob will be pleased to finally have a mummy that can move through Wild and Wacky without the risk of needing to call the fire brigade to get me out!!

Sickness, Fevers & Food

So I caught the sickness bug...what a horrendous thing to have when pregnant. Lady Wright was obviously very hungry, and the idea of food was enough to have me hugging the toilet again. Thankfully I only felt really horrendous for about 36 hours and by the Saturday night I thought I was ready for food again. Hell no. To be honest, I ate possibly the worst thing, a fry up. I really, really craved it! My stomach was not ready for that amount of grease. So I spent the next two days in agony and unable to eat again. By Tuesday last week I was feeling so much better, so I went nuts with my Dettol and bleach. Whenever anyone is ill in our house, I become a bit of a germ freak. Everything gets stripped, washed, bleached, the lot. This did nothing for my sciatica. So I spent all Tuesday night crying about how uncomfortable I was. It was a tough few pregnancy days! Rich was a massive help though and Jacob was no trouble at all which is always a bonus.

We had a couple of play dates last week which was nice for Jacob. He is so funny with other children, although sharing is still a bit of a tricky spot. I did read that children don't understand the concept of sharing until they are four years old, so I'm guessing as long as we teach them now, they'll get it themselves eventually!

We also had a sleepover with Teddy and my sister at the weekend as Rich was going away for the night. It is such chaos when the boys get together, all toys come out, Teddy wants to play Play-Doh, Jacob likes to eat play-doh. But they get on really well which is lovely and its been nice for there to always have been someone else there for Jacob. And I think Jacob has learnt a few things from Teddy too. 

I've finally got everything for Lady Wright's hospital bag. Well, except the actual bag, but I'm ordering that next week I think. I just need to decide if it's definitely the one I want! I think I'm going for the double pocket Cath Kidston one, mainly because it looks pretty huge and I'll be carrying two children's worth of stuff around in it. I had a Cath Kidston one with Jacob and loved it. I was sad to stop using it but once they're not having a new nappy every two hours or bottles, you tend to just fill them up with junk. Much like a handbag!
I've started to get my hospital bag ready too, I don't know why but I feel much less prepared this time so doing all these things a bit early is making me feel a bit better. When Jacob was born, we were in hospital for nearly a week after as he had jaundice and required photo therapy and his bloods weren't quite what they needed to be, so Rich ended up having to bring me more pyjamas and clothes most days, he didn't do too badly but as we had just bought a new washing machine and he didn't know how to use it yet, I was quite mismatched by the end of the week. So part of me wants to over pack almost in anticipation of a long stay, but then at the same time, I don't want to jinx it as I really hope we are in and out pretty quickly. Especially as we will have Jacob at home too. We still haven't left him over night so I'm absolutely dreading it! Hopefully little lady will arrive in the middle of the night and then I'll be home that afternoon. Fingers crossed!

Jacob had a new eye last week, but to be honest I am so disappointed with it. He hasn't had one since October so I was really looking forward to it as his current one was looking really small. His prosthetist hadn't quite noticed how much he had grown, so she over trimmed it and it actually looks worse than the last one in my opinion. She has ordered another one and attempted to make a mould too so he should have another one in around six weeks. I was gutted when we left. But Rich said "they can't be perfect every time!" which I guess is true! I haven't got a very good photo of his new eye, mainly because it isnt very good! But here's a couple of photos since he had the new one. The only good thing about it is that it hasn't been as weepy. Silver lining I guess!!

Jacob has had a fever on and off for four days now, and a little rash to go with it. It looked viral to me but today it went a bit too red and sore looking for my liking, and being Good Friday, no doctors were open so it was off to A&E. We were seen really quickly, but as soon as we arrived and explained his symptoms, one of the nurses looked really concerned and asked if he'd always had a squint. Which he hasn't, obviously if you know him, you know its his artificial eye. It was really great that they'd picked up on it straight away though as she said with a fever for no apparent reason they'd want to get it checked quickly. My friend is also a health visitor and she says she is so much more in depth when asking parents about their children's vision now and any concerns with their eyes. I'm so glad how much more aware of Retinoblastoma everyone seems now. I had never ever heard of it but because of Jacob, so many people I know, now know about it. Anyways, the nurse said Jacob has just a viral rash and just to keep an eye on it. But you can never be too sure! And with it being chicken pox season and scarlet fever doing the rounds, I'd rather be safe that sorry! He advised Piriton for the rash, and when I told my sister this she just said "he will sleep well tonight!" Apparently it knocks them out. So we shall see! I would be excited for a full nights sleep if I didn't have a baby bouncing on my bladder causing countless nighttime trips to the bathroom!

Poorly pants flaked out on the sofa.

I feel like all I think about these days is food, especially since spending 3 days starving after getting sick. I have become OBSESSED with smoked salmon. My friend Fran made me a smoked salmon salad last week and since then it is all I've wanted to eat. I've had it about 3 times with scrambled egg and granary toast. I heard you're not supposed to eat more than two servings of oily fish a week, but I'm not a massive meat eater and I'm thinking it can just replace the however many servings of red meat you're supposed to have! At least that's what I'll tell myself. I have gone on a little bit of a health kick with food as I was eating just crisps and chocolate and cakes all day, no actual meals which is no good for anyone. So I did a healthy shop and have actually been really good. Rich doesn't really eat anything "healthy" so it has meant making separate dinners a lot, but I have felt so much better for it. Although, yesterday I went to Alec's Restaurant in Brentwood with a group of friends for lunch, and I can honestly tell you it was the best meal I've eaten in my whole life, naughty, but delicious. I had 3 courses, and I honestly couldn't eat anything else until today. They served canapés and bread when you arrived, then I had mussels to start, an unbelievable cod fillet in soy sauce and spring onion glaze with creamed spinach and dauphinoise potatoes for main and an amazing chocolate mousse for pudding. I'm actually dribbling thinking about it again...

Have a great Easter weekend! 

Our first sickness bug!

It's been a busy few weeks, not with anything in particular, just those times when every day seems to fly by! Jacob had a check up at the Royal London Hospital last week, and he was stable again! I'd had a really bad feeling (like always) that he'd need treatment but he's still fighting those nasty cancer cells off! He was so good again after coming round from theatre. He just inhales a whole bottle of water and a punnet of blueberries every time. Then continues to eat everything in sight for about an hour. The nurses find him hilarious as a lot of the children are very grumpy when they come round, understandably of course. But he just sits there eating. We took the iPad with us too so he was well set up for the morning! Although his new favourite is Finding Nemo, and we haven't put that onto the iPad yet! We are still waiting for Jacobs new artificial eye, which seems like its been forever. They finally called yesterday and he is getting it next week! His current one is so small, he keeps turning it round and it has been so weepy where its building up gunk. Lovely I know! I'll post a before and after pic next week. Hopefully he sits well and let's Sylvia take it in and out this time. He was not happy with being messed about with last time.

Jacob has started to say so many new words, in the last month or so his speech really seems to have come along. And he understands pretty much everything you say to him now. Especially the word "sweets." He says "seets?!" I wouldn't mind but I don't let him have chocolate too often and is usually after dinner if he does get anything. Although I've managed to make him think that raisins and these organic real fruit jelly things are sweets, so that's good! He also thinks Soreen malt loaf is cake. He looks like he's won the lottery when he gets real cake. The kid doesn't need sugar to give him energy, he's like a little Duracell bunny! The most impressive new thing he has been saying is "I wanna go in the car" and "I wanna go outside" He knows what car is and says that a lot on its own, but the "I wanna go" part is more of a sound I think. But it is hilarious because the second he opens his eyes in the morning or after a nap, it's all he says.

We've also had to start doing "The Naughty Step". I really like this as I am totally against punishing a child through smacking. And most of Jacobs naughty behaviour involves him smacking or hitting someone he shouldn't. Mostly, its the dog getting a pasting. So I don't see how punishing smacking with the same thing would ever work. Everyone is different obviously but I remember getting a good few sore backsides when I was younger and it never stopped me, it just made me misbehave, then run with my legs about ten feet in front of my body with my bum tucked underneath me as far as I could get it. Jacob however, also thinks the naughty step is fun. The first time he went on it he got up straight away, I didn't put him back, but when he went back to whatever mischief he was doing, then he went back to it. This only happened twice before he lost interest in being a rogue. The next time, after hitting the dog over the head with his Henry Hoover, he sat there for about 30 seconds maybe, I asked "are you going to be nice?" To which he said yes, so I said "come say sorry to Lex, (the dog)" so he came over, gave Lex a cuddle and kiss and I felt like I'd won. Until he slapped me round the face, laughed, and went and sat himself back on the naughty step. I couldn't help but laugh behind a pillow. I think it's going to take some practice.

We went to one of our friends little girls birthday party on Saturday, it was in Eastbourne and we'd planned on spending the whole day there and going to the seaside, but it was so cold that we avoided that! Jacob slept nearly the whole way there which was great as he was full of beans when we arrived. I'd expected him to be really clingy and not go off and run around with the other children. But after about ten minutes, he was off! It was so lovely to see him just toddling around, kicking balloons and having fun. He sometimes stands there just watching everyone and you can see he is just taking it all in. He must have been exhausted from all the running around as he fell asleep as soon as we got into the car to drive home with his hands in his Happy Meal box clinging onto a chicken nugget! We just grabbed him one as it was easy for him to eat in the car and he'd been picking at food all afternoon anyway. He isn't a huge happy meal fan and I've gone off McDonalds since the beginning of my pregnancy, so they are a rarity in our house these days. He fell asleep around six and we managed to get him in, changed and into bed without him waking up and he slept until 7.45 the next day. Not uninterrupted of course, but that was a good stretch for him!

He wasn't quite himself all day Sunday, and the same on Monday. Off his food and very clingy. And cuddly. And I rarely get cuddles from this boy so I knew something was up. And at 5pm on Monday, that "up" was projectile vomit. Now, if you know me, you know I do not cope well with sick. I can't even talk about it without heaving (which I'm currently doing). But apparently, when its your child, you block out that fear. Don't get me wrong, I was still a state and wanted to heave my insides out, but the fear in Jacobs face was so much worse. He honestly looked petrified and didn't have a clue what was happening. I was absolutely covered in a lovely grape and rusk concoction but the quivering little wreck that was hanging on to me for dear life was way more important. I went into germ killer overdrive, Jacob was stripped and washed, the bed was stripped and put on the hottest wash I could get it on, and all dummies and drink cups were sterilised and I had the Dettol out and ready for any more explosions. Except there wasn't any, that night anyways, Jacob didn't want to eat anything and climbed into bed without a bedtime story which is very unlike him. He slept surprisingly well, I laid there awake nearly all night waiting for the next lot. He woke up asking for breakfast so I gave him some porridge which he practically inhaled where he must have been starving, but within ten minutes, it all came back up. Now this time, because Rich took Jacob and was dealing with him, it was just me and the reversed porridge. I didn't do well. That blocking out didn't happen. My eyes were hanging out of my head by the end of it.
This all happened at the worst possible time too as one of my friends was getting married yesterday and Jacob was spending the day with my brother and his girlfriend. I didn't want to leave him but he managed to keep down some plain biscotti and ready salted crisps (that's what he wanted?!) and seemed to perk up, so Rich missed the ceremony and came for the evening as by then Jacob seemed pretty much back to normal. He slept so well last night too which was great because I was exhausted from the no sleep the night before, to spending the whole day in heels, (my toes are like little swollen cocktail sausages today.) He woke up this morning pretty much his usual self and ate 3 bowls of dry cheerios. So fingers crossed the bug has left the building! It was so horrible seeing him so subdued. Quiet, but horrible! It made me really miss the chaos!

On the pregnancy front, I have been nesting like crazy. Everything is organised, rubbish thrown out, garden cleared and all the toys and trampoline all cleaned. I am starting to feel a bit more prepared now. However, at my 28 week midwife appointment, she said that Lady Wright is growing nicely and "isn't a tiddler". She said don't worry she isn't big! But this has still terrified me. So many people have said how big the bump is too! I am definitely carrying a lot higher up this time, so it may just " look" bigger. I hope so!

Oh, the last thing, Rich has caught Jacobs bug. In fact, it's actually wiped out my brother, his girlfriend and half of her family too! Not good. I am so hoping I don't catch it. I am pathetic when I'm sick. We (I) had planned a little trip to Mothercare today but I don't think that will be happening! I think Rich planned it that way... ;)

A few other pics from the last few weeks...

The big boy bed...

I have started writing a blog post everyday for about a week, and keep getting distracted by one thing or another. And as I started to write this one, I somehow managed to delete the whole thing. So I'm starting again. Although what I wanted to do was throw my phone at the wall...

Anyways, we have had a busy week this week. Play dates, lunches, work and eye fittings is just the start. Jacobs eye fitting on Friday the 13th (I'm the most superstitious person ever by the way) was a disaster. We went to Wild & Wacky beforehand as his appointment was 11.30 so he would most likely have his nap afterwards. But he absolutely wiped himself out at soft play and was almost asleep when we got to the hospital. Jacobs prostesthist suggested trying to make a mould of Jacobs eye this time as he normally sits so nicely for his appointments. However, he wasn't having any of it. So we had to go for the usual colour match, which means he will have a new eye in a few weeks. Then we will try again with the mould. Apparently moulded eyes have much better movement so I'm quite excited for him to get one.

We bought Jacob's toddler bed his week, he has a cot bed, but as the little lady will be needing one too, we thought it would be better (and cheaper!) to buy a toddler bed as opposed to another cot bed. I sat basically crying while Rich (and Jacob) dismantled the cot and built the bed. Jacob was so excited to get into it. Bedtime went so smoothly, I expected constant trips up and down the stairs putting him back into bed, but he went off like usual and didn't wake up until 7am, when he was at the baby gate shouting for us. I could not believe it. Nap time is proving a whole different matter... He has been upstairs an hour and still not asleep. I've been up and laid him down a few times, but to be honest I'm not really sure how to tackle this one!? Help?!
...an hour and a half later. He's finally asleep. I really hope this doesn't make him hate the bed at bedtime.

On the bump front, we officially have our friend "heartburn" staying with us. My god, I forgot how horrible it is. And absolutely everything seems to be setting it off this time. My sisters best friend is a midwife, so whenever I used to see her when I was pregnant with Jacob, I'd be like "where's the baby lying?!" And I saw her on Thursday and she had a feel, and as I suspected, lady Wright likes to hang out right up near my ribs. Which explains why I can't hardly breathe. I had breathless moments with Jacob, but I honestly feel like I am constantly gasping for air with this one. I have become obsessed with checking my heart rate too as my phone has a monitor on it. Obviously not as medically accurate as a proper one I'd have thought, but it still seems quite close. Your heart works so much harder when you're pregnant and I am positive mine is screaming for help when I'm having these breathing difficulties! I am so uncomfortable already, I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next 3 months if I'm moaning already! Although she doesn't stop moving around. Particularly in the bath. Jacob never used to move when I was in the bath and I always felt sick afterwards so went for showers instead. But it is so funny laying there watching my belly go nuts. Although I honestly can't say the baths will last. This shifted centre of gravity business is no joke. I tried to do a yoga pose at work on Thursday, and just toppled forward like a weeble. Pretty tragic.

Freezing and food.

I can not wait for some warmer weather. I caught Jacobs cold last week which meant I have been ill for the whole of January. Which makes me hate this month just a little bit more. We've been apparently getting snow here for days now, however, it's just a pathetic little sprinkle every time. I could deal with the cold a little bit more if there was snow. All I want to do is eat. And that is all I've done. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. I ate a huge dinner the other night, and within an hour I was starving again. I've tried not to stuff my face too much, but it has been hard. At work on Thursday, I ate a huge lunch before I started, then a Snickers halfway through my shift. And then still wanted more. I didn't take cash in with me on purpose as we have a Coke vending machine and another one filled with chocolate and crisps. Fatal. To say I inhaled my dinner would probably be an understatement. The problem is, I think I can eat a lot, and then feel like I actually might burst. While I'm eating, I'm fighting the desire to eat everything and feel hideous, or eat little still be hungry. Eat everything usually wins. And then I spend the evening moaning.

Jacobs eating is back on track which I'm so pleased about. Although he doesn't always eat his lunch, I think its a ploy to get out of going for his nap as he now has it after lunch as opposed to before. We just found that he lasts better for the afternoon if he has it slightly later. He always wakes up super hungry though so wants to eat everything in sight which ruins dinnertime. So we are currently trying to get a small but satisfying enough snack in that will hold him over until dinner. Otherwise we can guarantee a 5am wake up call where he's hungry through not eating his dinner. It really is a never ending battle!

We had a ridiculously busy day on Saturday, compared to usual anyway! We had to go pick up Lady Wright's wheels in the morning. We went for a single pram with a buggy board forJacob, he will just be two when she arrives which I think may be a little young for a buggy board, but he absolutely loves walking, so I'd rather give that a try before buying a double. Everyone has said I'm nuts, but we will see. I'll be the woman running through the town chasing a toddler whilst trying to navigate through the shoppers with my single pram.

Jacob had a birthday party in the afternoon, then we had dinner for my mums birthday in the evening. The birthday party was at a soft play place where Jacob hadn't been before so he wasn't as confident as usual when all the kids went into play. And as it was the weekend, it was utter chaos in there. Bigger kids really don't see anything that isn't in their eye line do they?! Jacob got knocked over about three times, luckily he got straight back up, but it did nothing for my nerves. They're like human shaped bulldozers!!! I also discovered that I no longer fit through some of the little holes like I used to. Very upsetting. As part of the little party, the kids got dinner so Jacob had nuggets and chips. But he's a never really been a fan of what I call "slam in the oven" dinners, so I didn't expect him to eat anything. But he ate the whole lot. And then his ice cream. And sat still the whole time. He was so well behaved, I actually got a little teary about it when we left. (Pregnancy hormones I'm sure!) I'm not sure if it was because there were twenty other children sat with him doing the same, but either way, it was lovely not to have to chase him round the tables. He is really good when we go to Wild & Wacky and have lunch there so I'm not sure if its just practice?! However, the few times we've braved going out for dinner to a restaurant, he's a restless little fiend. Maybe we've turned a corner, but I doubt it! That would be too easy! 

Now I'm living in fear, waiting for the germ that Jacob comes out in over the next couple of days as he always manages to catch something when we go to a soft play...

Bump update: We are having a...

GIRL!!!

We had our anomaly scan last week which we had always planned on finding out the sex at. And we are having a baby girl! And I am petrified! What am I going to do with a girl?! I know boys! Haha. I am so excited. And also panicking because now I really have to get realistic with all the boys stuff I can't bear to part with! We definitely need some more storage space! 

I hadn't bought a single thing for this baby yet as I have been so nervous that something would be wrong. So I wanted to wait until this scan to really get excited. I have been excited to an extent but in all honesty, a part of me has been in denial a little bit because I just felt so uneasy that there would be a problem. But our scan showed everything was growing and developing as it should be. So now I can relax a bit more! We had a scan at sixteen weeks too as I'd had quite a lot of pain and the doctor said she thought it was a girl, but I didn't take it for anything as it was still only just 16 weeks. And to be honest, I thought we'd have another boy! My mum was obviously over the moon as she now has a little girl in the family. And she can go Disney Princess mad.
I started having a little look at clothes. Obviously. And it is a little bit overwhelming! There is so much more choice for girls! Jacob has lots of the same sort of thing in a few different colours. But girls, my gosh, they can have dresses, skirts, shorts, leggings, jeans, everything!!! I've never been a fan of newborns in "real" clothes. Like jeans etc. I think it makes them look so grown up so quickly. Jacob didn't wear his first pair of jeans until he was about 11 months! And even then, I begrudgingly pulled them on his tiny little legs. Everyone is different obviously and that's just me!
I'm just glad everything is okay and hopefully now I can enjoy being pregnant! 

With the news that we are having a girl. I went through all of Jacobs old stuff (again). So, I sat on our bed, amongst an obscene pile of clothes, and cried. He had so much lovely stuff and I am genuinely heartbroken that it won't get worn again. And some of it was so small!!! I kept sending Rich pictures of things. He obviously thought I was insane and just told me to pack it all away and keep it all. I managed to pull a small pile of stuff for the little lady to use, such as the Little Bird range by Jools Oliver. I'm obsessed with it. And most of the basics are unisex so I was sitting there planning outfits with those pieces. I also made a memory blanket pile, which was ridiculously huge. And then I actually made a charity donation bag. And the rest...well its back in storage because I officially cannot part with it yet. I don't want it to go to a stranger, so I decided to wait and see if any of my friends have boys. And they can have it. Maybe. I am aware that most people think I'm nuts for keeping it all, but I just can't do it!

I picked up a few things yesterday for the little lady. Just some vests and sleepsuits, but honestly, I could have spent hundreds of pounds. Especially in Next. It is so lovely. But I'm trying to be a bit more realistic this time as going through Jacobs stuff showed me that he had way too much and literally only wore everything once, if that!

I've finally got my appetite back, and in a big way. All I want to do is eat! Its just deciding what I want that's the trouble, because I don't fancy anything in particular, I just want food. I'm probably going to end up a ginormous whale by the end of this pregnancy!

Jacob picked up another cold this week, so Rich has been sleeping downstairs and Jacob in our bed for the last two nights as for some reason, toddlers like to sleep longways in the bed! He slept much better last night though which was nice as I was starting to feel hideous from the lack of sleep! Although I'm going to start calling it sleep training. Its probably a good thing Jacob has never been a brilliant sleeper with a second baby on the way! I never got to go back to a full nights sleep so hopefully it won't be so much of a shock when she arrives! (Yeah right!)

Lady Wright.

Getting organised.

Whether its the post Christmas clear out, or I'm nesting rather early, I have gone nuts with clearing out and organising...EVERYTHING. I started with Jacobs toy box in the living room on Friday, he hardly plays with any of his toys that are downstairs except his little ride on car which cost about £10 and we only got it because we had a few pounds of leftover Argos vouchers, turns out to be one of his favourites. He is also still obsessed with his stacking cups and Hes got a Little Tikes car transporter thing that he loves too. Other than that, everything else gets ignored. So I was just brutal and put it all upstairs. However, what I didn't think about is where to put it all in Jacob's room. And its made me panic about where all the new baby's stuff is going to go. Which led to me clearing out the storage cupboard in our room...which also contains mostly Jacobs stuff. How the hell do people get rid of their first babys clothes?! I have 3 of those huge storage bags, filled with Jacobs clothes from newborn up until now that I just can't part with. And I've sorted through it all about a hundred times, trying to be more realistic each time. I even ended putting stuff from the charity donation bag I'd made up, back into the "keep" piles! We have our sexing/anomaly scan on Tuesday, and if we are cooking up a girl this time, I really don't know what I'm going to do with all this stuff. I looked at those memory quilts, as Jacob has a pillow and bear made of some of his first sleepsuits, but I think this quilt would probably cover most of the town.
I'm not sure if I'm having trouble parting with them as they were all "chemo" sleep suits, or "operation" sleepsuits and they hold a little bit more of a memory than they normally would? But frankly, I either need to get realistic, or hire a storage locker. Or get a bigger house, but who can afford a bigger house these days!

This then led to me organising my kitchen cupboards...basically, I'm certain I have a Tupperware issue. I have so many tubs and lunch boxes and snack boxes that you would think I was saving them up to build that bigger house. For weeks, every time I open the cupboard above the sink, it rained Tupperware. And then I'd launch it all back in and quickly shut the cupboard door. But no more! Organised heaven. I'm that pleased, I'd show you a photo, but I'm pretty sure you don't care less!

In between all the organising, we finally managed to go for a walk somewhere other than the woods by our house. Jacob is such an outdoors kid, and I do like being outside, just not when its freezing!!! He would stay out there forever though I think. Just Jacob and me went with my mum as she lives right next to the park. And we took her lunatic Jack Russell, Archie. Who will attack you if you pick up a stick and hold it for more than 3 seconds before launching it as far as possible. The walk paired with the fresh air absolutely wiped Jacob out, so getting from 3pm to bedtime at 7pm was a struggle. And at 6.45pm, Jacob seemed to get a second wind of energy...so bedtime was more like 8pm! He woke up extremely hungry again after not eating dinner, again. Although, he ate a whole bowl of porridge, banana, strawberries and a yogurt at breakfast this morning so that is an improvement!!! Fingers crossed it stays this way and he's getting his appetite back.

Quarantined!

So its been a bit of a crazy week in the Wright/Williams household. Jacobs last few teeth are trying to fight their way through his gums since the beginning of last week so when he got unbelievably grumpy, tearful, hot and just plain miserable on Thursday, we just thought he was really having a tough time with them. Friday he was very up and down again, and we had his appointment at Great Ormond Street Hospital in the afternoon for his ultrasound to check his bowels and kidneys, which was all clear and his six month oncology check up with the amazing Dr. Kingston. When I say amazing, that doesn't even cover it. She is just unbelievable. She knows everything there is to know about Jacobs condition and actually was part of the team that created the chemotherapy drug combination they now use to treat Rb. She is just amazing. She was very happy with Jacobs weight gain and as I thought, he's shot up just under ten centimetres in six months. That explains the super shrinking trouser legs!! He was not his happy self and just stood at the door crying to leave. The journey home was hideous. My step dad Steve usually takes us to GOSH as he knows his way round London pretty well, and even with his cut throughs and side street knowledge, the hour journey took two! And Jacob screamed for the last 40 minutes. He had refused to eat all day, again thinking it was just teething we just carried on with the Calpol and Anbesol liquid. Come the evening, he was still not stop crying and refused to sleep, at which point I said to Rich "I'm not sure this is just teething." He has never suffered like this with his teeth, so Saturday morning when he was no better, we went to A&E as his tongue looked swollen which obviously set alarm bells ringing. We were seen quickly and as soon as then nurse picked his hand up to check his obs, I saw the little white spots. Before the nurse could even say anything, I said "He's got hand, foot and mouth!" She just said "yep, home and rest!" There's nothing you can do for it. But as soon as I saw the spots on his hands it made sense. His little mouth was filled with ulcers. I honestly felt like the worst mother in the world. I was shoving my fingers in his mouth, running Anbesol round his gums when it must have been so painful! So since Saturday we have been battling eating, drinking and sleeping with an arsenal of Calpol, Nurofen and me cooking/making a hundred different things to hopefully entice Jacob to eat. The only thing we managed on Saturday was a spoonful of porridge. And yesterday, he ate two bananas and some cheerios. We've been looking for anything plain! Milk has been quite a life saver too. He's not normally much of a milk drinker but I think the cold helps and the milk soothes the ulcers. I'm pretty sure he's got lots of spots down the back of his throat too as he has a terrible sore throat now and didn't swallow for a few days. We went through every T-shirt and every bib in the house over the course of Friday to Sunday I think! He seems a tiny bit better today, sleep has been tough and he's had hardly any which obviously doesn't help. But he's sat next to me watching Frozen while I've been writing this which is better than the constant tears we've had the last few days. Rich and me have been tag teaming sleep, eating and trying to keep Jacob entertained. It has been quite tough. Rich is so laid back and has so much patience and can manage on next to no sleep, but I am a nightmare. My patience is nonexistent when I'm tired, and paired with these pregnancy hormones, I have not been very nice to live with this weekend. I've been sent off to sleep a fair few times! I obviously try not to be a monster in front of Jacob and I think he knows Rich is the more patient of the two of us as he has been a total daddy's boy this weekend!! I've been the wicked witch thats pinned him down and forced him to take his medicine and laying him back down in the middle of the night instead of getting up to party at two, three, four and five AM to party. I'm sure he will understand when he's better! I wish they understood when you're trying to explain the medicine will make them feel better, and sleep will make them feel better. It's been a tough few days indeed! Jacob is contagious for about a week after symptoms start, and his fever started Weds/Thurs so I'm really hoping he's better for his trip to see Santa on Wednesday! He's taken a dummy again today which is a good sign. Although he has gone without it for the last few days which I hoped would be when he gave it up. But no such luck!

 I didn't let Jacob have chocolate this time last year, so he's got two calendars this year!

 Wild & Wacky Mondays, before the dreaded virus hit!

 Checking out the fish tank floor at GOSH

 Tackling "teething."

We put the tree up! Jacob has so far broken 3 decorations! 

I've finally started Christmas shopping and we decided that we are Santa is going to get him the Toot Toot drivers train station to go with the stuff he already has. He sits for ages just pushing the cars around and down the ramps. We are going to get him one of the rugs which have the roads on too. And then he's got lots of paints, pencils and stuff like that as he likes to do that kind of thing, and draw on the walls in the process obviously.

I've spent the last week trying to hunt down the "Hulk Smash Hands" for Teddy. Nowhere has them in stock and the nearest Toys R Us that has them is Edinburgh!! And it can take weeks for them to be transfered store to store. They finally came into stock on Amazon so managed to get some this morning, but straight after I placed the order, I had a number from New York call me then straight after that, a number from Malaysia. I didn't answer and I called Amazon and they said all seems fine on the order so I really hope its a coincidence and someone from far away just wanted a chat with me! Knowing my luck, I finally found them but they're actually some dodgy knock offs! Let's hope not!!

A little bump update...

The sickness seems to have gone altogether now which is amazing! But I now have the nasty headaches I got with Jacob, and nothing helps them! They've been a brilliant addition to this weekend I must say!
All I've wanted to eat is the McDonalds cheesy dippers from their festive menu, and cakes and chocolate! I was exactly the same with Jacob around this point of pregancy. I've also absolutely loved the smell of Rich's Red Bull and have snuck a sip or two. I would drink the whole can if I could!!! I'm also at that stage where I just feel like a fat wildebeest! Nothing fits but its my birthday on Sunday so I think I may treat myself to a few new pieces!