It's been a while...

I've started writing about 20 blog posts and never get round to finishing them. So thought I'd better give it another go. New year and all!!

Soooo much has happened since I last wrote. The weather has gone from beautiful heat to bloody freezing! Alba is now an official crawling, jabbering, food throwing little person. Jacob is in nursery for 3 afternoons a week and has developed the attitude of a highly emotional teenager. And I've cut all of my hair off as loads of it fell out anyway. Oh post partum hair loss I love you. Oh, and I turned 30, but no need to talk about that.

Alba is now 7 and a half months old. She started crawling at the beginning of December and has been unstoppable since! I started weaning her quite early as her reflux was awful even with dairy free milk and medicines. It did reduce the amount of sick she was decorating the house and her clothes with so that was great. I changed her back to Aptamil follow on milk around a month ago as she was switched to the second stage dairy free milk and was projectile vomiting whole bottles so something in it didn't agree with her. I am absolutely loving weaning with her. I am a bit more carefree about what she eats compared to how I was with Jacob. Mostly because its sometimes easier for her and Jacob to have the same thing. So she has had nuggets and alphabites waaaaay before Jacob did! Oh and a few chocolate buttons here and there. *insert hands over eyes emoji here* She absolutely loves avocado and cheese which is great. Although I have noticed she's a bit of a lazy eater. I will offer her something and she will just hold her mouth open for me to hold it while she chews as opposed to holding it herself. She has her two bottom teeth already too.

Jacob started nursery in October and he loves it! I really thought I was going to have so much trouble with him going and settling in well. But his nursery are fantastic and he did about 4 weeks worth of settling in sessions which slowly increased in length until he started properly. He does 1-5 three afternoons a week. He is absolutely shattered by the time he gets home but that doesn't stop him waking up at crazy o clock and climbing into our bed! Both babies sleeping is very up and down but that's probably a whole other blog post. Ha. Jacobs speech has come along so much and you can have full conversations with him and there is very rarely something he says that I don't understand. AND...he is wearing PANTS!!! Only in the day and we are still having a fair few accidents but we are certainly getting there. He refused to use the potty at home but did at nursery to which I was obviously like "well we are doing this at home!!" It took a while but one day it just clicked. I did slow down over Christmas as it was obviously very chaotic but when the new year started he asked to wear pants and that was that. He's so tiny though, I had a nightmare finding some to fit him, but luckily Asda start their pants at 12-18 months which fit my little string bean fine.

Christmas was amazing, we stayed at home just us four, which was very calm but with Alba on the move too, I wanted to stay quite chilled out and not have to worry about chasing her around too much or her being trampled by the family. Haha. The kids got absolutely spoiled and I am still trying to find homes for the piles of toys. Very stressful when I hate clutter and mess.  

Two days before Christmas, Jacob had a check up at The Royal London Hospital, and unfortunately his tumour had relapsed again which was absolutely gutting. He had more cryotherapy and a nice sore eye in time for Christmas. He didn't let it hold him back though. He still had an amazing time and was so excited when he woke Christmas morning and "Father Pissmass" had been! We were back at RLH two weeks later and the tumour had responded well so no more treatment was required but the previous treatment had made his retina detach slightly so we are back on Wednesday to check that it's reattached and to hope the tumour has stayed stable. If not, he will be having a radioactive plaque as his next line of treatment as all of the cryotherapy has started damaging his eye and its too risky to carry on as he only has the one. I'll write more about that if it happens. But obviously fingers crossed it doesn't.

I could write and write with everything we've been upto the last six months but I'll be here forever. I plan on writing a bit more regularly again now. Plus Rich keeps shouting at me too as well. So keep popping back!

Here's a few pictures of what we've been upto recently... Although if you follow me on Instagram, you've probably already seen them!

So I thought I'd do this which actually shows how much of a crap blogger I am...the left is August, when I last wrote a blog and the right is now. Growing up so fast!

I say let's not talk about turning 30, but I actually had the most amazing birthday weekend and was thoroughly spoilt.

A few from Christmas: 

Jacob was given tickets for Disney on Ice at the O2. It was absolutely amazing! 

We've been busy!

Again, it's been ages since I posted. Jacob has become a crazed, little tantrum throwing toddler and that with Christmas and new year has just been chaos. The week before Christmas just flew by, and I started writing about 3 blog posts and never got round to finishing them.

Christmas was lovely, it was really nice not to cook this year as I have the last couple. Jacob still didn't really get Christmas and presents, he loved his toys we got him and everything he got from everyone else, but to an eighteen month old, it doesn't have quite the same effect as it does on a four or five year old. I cannot wait until he's up screaming that Santa has been in a few years time. That's when it gets more expensive though I hear, as they know what they want, and its usually everything!
I have to admit, I was quite moody Christmas day. All I wanted to do was eat pâté and brie and drink prosecco. And was fed up that I couldn't. Obviously, I'm glad to be pregnant and so excited, but I also love my food. And pâté is definitely a favourite of mine. Chicken liver to be specific, and that's a no no. So I stuck to plain old cheddar and some Boursin. Which I googled to check I was actually allowed it!!

Jacob had a check up at the Royal London Hospital this week, and I woke up Wednesday morning with a really bad feeling. I said to Rich "I don't think it's going to be good today." Taking Jacob down to theatre was chaos, he screamed the whole way as he must now remember what's going to happen. And then he buried his head in my neck when the doctors were trying to put his mask on so he could go to sleep. He really fought it this time, and I cried for the first time in ages walking back round to his bed. It may well have been pregnancy hormones, but I was so fed up of having to put him through this so regularly. He came back round quite quickly from theatre and unlike last time, he was not happy. He was so hungry, he practically inhaled his banana and started to choke. And by choke, I mean full on silent choking that felt like it lasted forever. Rich managed to give him a good pat on the back while he was tipped over his arm and he coughed it up. I was literally seconds away from screaming into the ward. Which would have terrified everybody. The first aid course we went to while I was pregnant came in handy. I realised how utterly useless I would probably be if I was on my own, and that's a little bit scary! I'm sure mothers instinct would kick in, but I definitely panicked a lot more than I'd have liked.
Mr Sagoo came round not long after and told us Jacob was still stable, which was brilliant as the day had gone so horribly so far, I thought there's no way its good news! We are back in nine weeks, which is the middle of March.

Elsewhere, Jacob has become a crazed One Direction fan. He absolutely loves them. It's become our calm down tool. If he is going nuts, we just switch them on and he's dancing away. I don't mind, as I secretly like them and I think Rich has had no choice but to become a fan either!
Jacob has had four teeth start coming over the last few weeks. And with it, he has become a very fussy eater. I don't know if its tied into the teething for sure as a few of my friends are having the same problem, but he will pick at everything. He hasn't eaten a full meal in about two weeks now. And this morning he was awake at 4.45am hungry! And even then, the only thing he would eat was half a brioche and a banana. After having a brilliant eater, it is really tough when they get fussy! I have tried everything. And he isn't at the "if you don't eat, you go hungry" stage yet so I am literally trying about 4 options every evening with dinner. A few people have told me not to do this as it can make it worse and then they get clever about it. So I think I may have to take a different approach! Any tips?!

Christmas crafting!!

Jacob is finally getting over the hand, foot and mouth, cold and cough he's suffered with the last two weeks. However, those evil little teeth are cutting their way through so I'm expecting some bad nights soon! He has actually been sleeping so well since getting better. I've not had to get up to him once in the night which has been lovely. He's woke up a little bit whingey a few times but settled back off on his own. However, the better sleep has come with earlier starts. He is up around 6.30 most mornings now. Which would be fine if it wasn't so dark and cold out!!! I still don't know how to set our heating up so it comes on with the timer so it is absolutely freezing when we get up in the mornings.

We went to Van Hages garden centre last Wednesday to see Santa, I booked it a little while ago and Jacob didn't seem so poorly that morning so thought we'd still go as we went last year and it was lovely. However, I think it was a little bit too soon to have taken him out as he was not in the mood at all. He absolutely screamed the place down and wasn't interested in Santa, the lights or the presents. We took him for a little walk around the animals after which he obviously loved, but he must have felt rough because he crashed out the second we pulled out of the carpark. Hopefully next year!!

We've been meaning to make Christmas cards and ornaments for the family for nearly two weeks but just haven't got round to it. So yesterday, Rich was home so I got him to help me with the "Christmas tree feet" cards I wanted to make. Jacob wasn't very cooperative, so we had to rush them, but they seem to have come out okay. They're literally a green foot print upside down. Then you draw on the lights or baubles with the good trusty Sharpie pens. Just FYI, I'm obsessed with a Sharpie. I don't know why, I just love them. We also made some snowmen cards today as we needed a few more, and it's the same idea, an upside down foot print, then draw on the face, scarf and buttons etc.

I'd also seen a salt dough recipe that I've wanted to do for ages so we gave that a try today. It was so easy, literally a cup of salt, a cup of plain flour and it says half a cup of water, but I found this a bit too much so had to add more flour. But just add water bit by bit until you get a play-doh like dough. I literally rolled it out, cut out circles and Jacob pressed his hand (I forced him to push his hand, he didn't want to play) into the dough. Then used a straw to make a small hole in the top for string or ribbon to go through. Then bake at 100 Celsius for 3 hours. They came out pretty good. We painted the red then put gold glitter on them, and wrote a little message on them. I can't wait to give them out to family members. And we've obviously kept one for our tree. Hopefully I'll remember to do them every year!

It was my birthday on Sunday, but lucky for me I had a nice headache and spent most of the day in bed! We had family over for takeaway in the evening as Rich was determined I actually did something on the day. I'm so boring, birthdays aren't that big a deal to me, my birthday anyway. And because its so close to Christmas, I'm usually more excited about that. All I cared about was getting a card from Jacob. Rich had him "write" inside himself. Which was a lovely felt pen masterpiece! I also got a really lovely charm for my Pandora bracelet. I'd had my eye on it for ages but didn't think it was appropriate to buy it for myself so I'm glad Jacob (Rich) got it for me!

Quarantined!

So its been a bit of a crazy week in the Wright/Williams household. Jacobs last few teeth are trying to fight their way through his gums since the beginning of last week so when he got unbelievably grumpy, tearful, hot and just plain miserable on Thursday, we just thought he was really having a tough time with them. Friday he was very up and down again, and we had his appointment at Great Ormond Street Hospital in the afternoon for his ultrasound to check his bowels and kidneys, which was all clear and his six month oncology check up with the amazing Dr. Kingston. When I say amazing, that doesn't even cover it. She is just unbelievable. She knows everything there is to know about Jacobs condition and actually was part of the team that created the chemotherapy drug combination they now use to treat Rb. She is just amazing. She was very happy with Jacobs weight gain and as I thought, he's shot up just under ten centimetres in six months. That explains the super shrinking trouser legs!! He was not his happy self and just stood at the door crying to leave. The journey home was hideous. My step dad Steve usually takes us to GOSH as he knows his way round London pretty well, and even with his cut throughs and side street knowledge, the hour journey took two! And Jacob screamed for the last 40 minutes. He had refused to eat all day, again thinking it was just teething we just carried on with the Calpol and Anbesol liquid. Come the evening, he was still not stop crying and refused to sleep, at which point I said to Rich "I'm not sure this is just teething." He has never suffered like this with his teeth, so Saturday morning when he was no better, we went to A&E as his tongue looked swollen which obviously set alarm bells ringing. We were seen quickly and as soon as then nurse picked his hand up to check his obs, I saw the little white spots. Before the nurse could even say anything, I said "He's got hand, foot and mouth!" She just said "yep, home and rest!" There's nothing you can do for it. But as soon as I saw the spots on his hands it made sense. His little mouth was filled with ulcers. I honestly felt like the worst mother in the world. I was shoving my fingers in his mouth, running Anbesol round his gums when it must have been so painful! So since Saturday we have been battling eating, drinking and sleeping with an arsenal of Calpol, Nurofen and me cooking/making a hundred different things to hopefully entice Jacob to eat. The only thing we managed on Saturday was a spoonful of porridge. And yesterday, he ate two bananas and some cheerios. We've been looking for anything plain! Milk has been quite a life saver too. He's not normally much of a milk drinker but I think the cold helps and the milk soothes the ulcers. I'm pretty sure he's got lots of spots down the back of his throat too as he has a terrible sore throat now and didn't swallow for a few days. We went through every T-shirt and every bib in the house over the course of Friday to Sunday I think! He seems a tiny bit better today, sleep has been tough and he's had hardly any which obviously doesn't help. But he's sat next to me watching Frozen while I've been writing this which is better than the constant tears we've had the last few days. Rich and me have been tag teaming sleep, eating and trying to keep Jacob entertained. It has been quite tough. Rich is so laid back and has so much patience and can manage on next to no sleep, but I am a nightmare. My patience is nonexistent when I'm tired, and paired with these pregnancy hormones, I have not been very nice to live with this weekend. I've been sent off to sleep a fair few times! I obviously try not to be a monster in front of Jacob and I think he knows Rich is the more patient of the two of us as he has been a total daddy's boy this weekend!! I've been the wicked witch thats pinned him down and forced him to take his medicine and laying him back down in the middle of the night instead of getting up to party at two, three, four and five AM to party. I'm sure he will understand when he's better! I wish they understood when you're trying to explain the medicine will make them feel better, and sleep will make them feel better. It's been a tough few days indeed! Jacob is contagious for about a week after symptoms start, and his fever started Weds/Thurs so I'm really hoping he's better for his trip to see Santa on Wednesday! He's taken a dummy again today which is a good sign. Although he has gone without it for the last few days which I hoped would be when he gave it up. But no such luck!

 I didn't let Jacob have chocolate this time last year, so he's got two calendars this year!

 Wild & Wacky Mondays, before the dreaded virus hit!

 Checking out the fish tank floor at GOSH

 Tackling "teething."

We put the tree up! Jacob has so far broken 3 decorations! 

I've finally started Christmas shopping and we decided that we are Santa is going to get him the Toot Toot drivers train station to go with the stuff he already has. He sits for ages just pushing the cars around and down the ramps. We are going to get him one of the rugs which have the roads on too. And then he's got lots of paints, pencils and stuff like that as he likes to do that kind of thing, and draw on the walls in the process obviously.

I've spent the last week trying to hunt down the "Hulk Smash Hands" for Teddy. Nowhere has them in stock and the nearest Toys R Us that has them is Edinburgh!! And it can take weeks for them to be transfered store to store. They finally came into stock on Amazon so managed to get some this morning, but straight after I placed the order, I had a number from New York call me then straight after that, a number from Malaysia. I didn't answer and I called Amazon and they said all seems fine on the order so I really hope its a coincidence and someone from far away just wanted a chat with me! Knowing my luck, I finally found them but they're actually some dodgy knock offs! Let's hope not!!

A little bump update...

The sickness seems to have gone altogether now which is amazing! But I now have the nasty headaches I got with Jacob, and nothing helps them! They've been a brilliant addition to this weekend I must say!
All I've wanted to eat is the McDonalds cheesy dippers from their festive menu, and cakes and chocolate! I was exactly the same with Jacob around this point of pregancy. I've also absolutely loved the smell of Rich's Red Bull and have snuck a sip or two. I would drink the whole can if I could!!! I'm also at that stage where I just feel like a fat wildebeest! Nothing fits but its my birthday on Sunday so I think I may treat myself to a few new pieces!

I have an 18 month old!!!

I cannot believe I have an 18 month old, I also cannot believe that he is going to be a big brother next summer.
Jacob has become more and more of a little character over the last few months, and although still not saying many words, he does not stop waffling away.
His favourite things to say and that we will understand is "no", " what's that?", "Lex" (our dog), and he makes "mmm" sounds for food he likes. Which is everything. After a wobbly beginning of not wanting any of my homemade purees, he has always been a brilliant eater, I took a really relaxed approach to weaning. I did a mixture of baby led and purées, although he totally refused my purees, he loved the Ella's Kitchen ones. I was so excited to start weaning so when he was about five months, I spent a whole Sunday in the kitchen making every puree you could think of. They all went in the bin eventually as he hated them all. But to be honest, why would anyone want just broccoli or cauliflower? (Although one of his favourite foods is actually broccoli now!) I tried some with apple, sweet potato, parsnip, you name it. He wasn't having any of it. So it was Ella's Kitchen to the rescue. And then at lunchtime, it was always finger foods. Sandwiches, pasta, fruit, veggie sticks, those Organix carrot wotsit things which he loved. And if he didn't eat it, we'd leave it a couple days and try again. He always had lots of variety. My sister used to say "there's too much choice, he won't eat anything!" But he would always clear his tray. We were really lucky through chemo as he never really went off food. I'm guessing he's going to be like me and shove anything away. I won the egg battle last week. I have been trying for weeks to get him to eat some scrambled eggs. And he did it. I was so excited, I put it all on Facebook and rang Rich all excited. So yes, in regards to food, Jacob is a little piglet. 

He has become quite the tantrum thrower. I'm hoping he's getting the terrible twos out of the way before his sibling arrives. He is currently chasing the dog around with his Henry Hoover and trying to hit him over the head. All fun and games!

Spaghetti Bolognese?

Since announcing that we are expecting baby number two, a lot of people have asked about Jacobs condition and what the chances are of this baby having it. Rich and me were both tested for the gene mutation which Jacob has and we are clear, so aren't carriers. So this baby has the same chance as any other baby of having Retinoblastoma. We will be having the cord blood tested when the baby is born, just to be sure. The chances are very small, but at the same time, they were with Jacob too.

The sickness has finally started to pass and I have actually had energy to do housework this week which has been nice. I'd been doing the absolute minimal I could get away with for the last two months and I'm a big believer in "clean house, clean mind!" More like "clean house, happy Char." We've started to go for a walk again most days too, and if not, Jacob has been getting wrapped up and playing in the garden. He just loves to be outside which isn't ideal in the British winter time!

 Showing off his little brother or sister!

Adventuring.

Rich and me have been trying to decide what to get Jacob for Christmas, (I've bought about 3 little things!) The only thing He's really into at the moment is cars, and balls (still!) And he likes Toy Story and Monsters Inc. Actually he likes anything on TV. Could be a cooking programme, documentary on paint drying, he'll watch it! I think we are going to go for a trainset of some kind and just books, puzzles and crafty stuff. I bought him (me) some play-doh last week which he (I) really enjoyed playing with. To be honest at this age, they're more interested in the wrapping paper than what's actually inside!!

Jacob has a birthday party at Wild & Wacky tomorrow evening, and I have my work Christmas party so Rich is taking him alone. Its his first proper birthday party at a play place so I'm a bit gutted not to be going but I'm sure Rich will take lots of photos and I can feel like I was there!!