The naughty step.

We have hit the terrible twos. I'm sure of it. Tantrums galore. We originally started the naughty step around a month ago, but Jacob seemed to enjoy it and purposely do things he shouldn't so he could sit on it. Novelty?! Well that wore off after a week. And I hear that the offending child should sit there for same amount of minutes as their age. So we've been doing around 1 and a half to two minutes. Well I sincerely hope he learns quickly because those two minutes feel like two years. We've gone with the stopping crying before being allowed to come off also, but normally after the two minutes and telling Jacob to stop crying, he's normally pretty good. He does seem to be learning slowly. If I say "do you want to go on the naughty step?" He shouts "No!" And tends to stop whatever roguish thing he's doing. Obviously this isnt the case every time. Especially after some chocolate buttons or something nice and e number filled.
A few people have said to me that Jacob can probably sense the changes happening which explains the sudden change in naughty behaviour. To be honest, I'm sure all kids go through this trying phase and I'm just going to deal with it the best I can and my way. And if that doesn't work, then I'll just be a ragged mum of two constantly shouting at my toddler to no avail. But let's hope not!

Jacobs eating has gone a bit up the wall too, he's decided he no longer likes bread or any of its friends. So wraps, crackers, bagels, rolls, none of it is suitable for lunch anymore. He's taken to grazing most of the day but I try to stop him from eating anything from about 3pm so that he eats a full meal at dinner time. He's never been a fan of what I call "oven" dinners, so chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc but he will eat most other things. And the other day he ate a real sausage! Not one of the processed mushy ones in beans or spaghetti, a real sausage! Haha. I was so pleased because he's never really eaten real meat on its own. So ham, roast chicken, mince etc. If it's in something such as a cottage pie, pasta dish or a chilli for example, he will eat it but not a chicken breast or ham sandwich, but that could also be the current bread avoidance too! I hear this I quite common around Jacob's age so let's hope it's a phase.

Jacob seems to be coming along so much with his his speech, it is so funny listening to him ramble on. He says "yeah" now but in a little American accent and it is so cute. And he has finally started to call me Mummy!!! I have been "Char" for forever and I hated it! Now he calls my sister Char Char, which is what my nephew calls me. I cannot believe he will be two in less than three weeks. It's gone so so fast!

The weather has been lovely here for the last couple of weeks, so we've spent most days outside. We also went to feed the lambs at "Pets Corner" which is a little petting zoo near our house. It was lovely, although Jacob did try to kick the little lamb in the head. Everything is "goaaaaall!" at the moment. He is so into football already, Rich is very pleased!!

We went to a new playgroup last week at a church in our town. It was recommended by my friend Fran, so we went along. It was 10-11.30 which is perfect for us as Jacob normally naps around 12.30ish now. They have an hours playtime, then "tidy up time" which Jacob actually participated in, then they have snacks and then finish with singing. It was honestly the nicest playgroup we've been to so will definitely go again.

I have noticed Jacob has developed a bit of a nervous "thing" I guess is what to call it. When people are making a fuss of him, he tends to cover his right (artificial) eye. Its only been the last couple of weeks and he's even doing it to my mum who he sees all the time. We've not made a deal of it as I'm hoping it's just a little thing he is going through, but I am worried that it's because he knows it is different. Rich said he doesn't think so as he is so young, but I'm not sure! We will see how it goes!

I'm going to do a separate pregnancy post I think as its taken me nearly a month to write this one so I'll never get done otherwise. Worst blogger ever!!!!

Freezing and food.

I can not wait for some warmer weather. I caught Jacobs cold last week which meant I have been ill for the whole of January. Which makes me hate this month just a little bit more. We've been apparently getting snow here for days now, however, it's just a pathetic little sprinkle every time. I could deal with the cold a little bit more if there was snow. All I want to do is eat. And that is all I've done. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. I ate a huge dinner the other night, and within an hour I was starving again. I've tried not to stuff my face too much, but it has been hard. At work on Thursday, I ate a huge lunch before I started, then a Snickers halfway through my shift. And then still wanted more. I didn't take cash in with me on purpose as we have a Coke vending machine and another one filled with chocolate and crisps. Fatal. To say I inhaled my dinner would probably be an understatement. The problem is, I think I can eat a lot, and then feel like I actually might burst. While I'm eating, I'm fighting the desire to eat everything and feel hideous, or eat little still be hungry. Eat everything usually wins. And then I spend the evening moaning.

Jacobs eating is back on track which I'm so pleased about. Although he doesn't always eat his lunch, I think its a ploy to get out of going for his nap as he now has it after lunch as opposed to before. We just found that he lasts better for the afternoon if he has it slightly later. He always wakes up super hungry though so wants to eat everything in sight which ruins dinnertime. So we are currently trying to get a small but satisfying enough snack in that will hold him over until dinner. Otherwise we can guarantee a 5am wake up call where he's hungry through not eating his dinner. It really is a never ending battle!

We had a ridiculously busy day on Saturday, compared to usual anyway! We had to go pick up Lady Wright's wheels in the morning. We went for a single pram with a buggy board forJacob, he will just be two when she arrives which I think may be a little young for a buggy board, but he absolutely loves walking, so I'd rather give that a try before buying a double. Everyone has said I'm nuts, but we will see. I'll be the woman running through the town chasing a toddler whilst trying to navigate through the shoppers with my single pram.

Jacob had a birthday party in the afternoon, then we had dinner for my mums birthday in the evening. The birthday party was at a soft play place where Jacob hadn't been before so he wasn't as confident as usual when all the kids went into play. And as it was the weekend, it was utter chaos in there. Bigger kids really don't see anything that isn't in their eye line do they?! Jacob got knocked over about three times, luckily he got straight back up, but it did nothing for my nerves. They're like human shaped bulldozers!!! I also discovered that I no longer fit through some of the little holes like I used to. Very upsetting. As part of the little party, the kids got dinner so Jacob had nuggets and chips. But he's a never really been a fan of what I call "slam in the oven" dinners, so I didn't expect him to eat anything. But he ate the whole lot. And then his ice cream. And sat still the whole time. He was so well behaved, I actually got a little teary about it when we left. (Pregnancy hormones I'm sure!) I'm not sure if it was because there were twenty other children sat with him doing the same, but either way, it was lovely not to have to chase him round the tables. He is really good when we go to Wild & Wacky and have lunch there so I'm not sure if its just practice?! However, the few times we've braved going out for dinner to a restaurant, he's a restless little fiend. Maybe we've turned a corner, but I doubt it! That would be too easy! 

Now I'm living in fear, waiting for the germ that Jacob comes out in over the next couple of days as he always manages to catch something when we go to a soft play...

Getting organised.

Whether its the post Christmas clear out, or I'm nesting rather early, I have gone nuts with clearing out and organising...EVERYTHING. I started with Jacobs toy box in the living room on Friday, he hardly plays with any of his toys that are downstairs except his little ride on car which cost about £10 and we only got it because we had a few pounds of leftover Argos vouchers, turns out to be one of his favourites. He is also still obsessed with his stacking cups and Hes got a Little Tikes car transporter thing that he loves too. Other than that, everything else gets ignored. So I was just brutal and put it all upstairs. However, what I didn't think about is where to put it all in Jacob's room. And its made me panic about where all the new baby's stuff is going to go. Which led to me clearing out the storage cupboard in our room...which also contains mostly Jacobs stuff. How the hell do people get rid of their first babys clothes?! I have 3 of those huge storage bags, filled with Jacobs clothes from newborn up until now that I just can't part with. And I've sorted through it all about a hundred times, trying to be more realistic each time. I even ended putting stuff from the charity donation bag I'd made up, back into the "keep" piles! We have our sexing/anomaly scan on Tuesday, and if we are cooking up a girl this time, I really don't know what I'm going to do with all this stuff. I looked at those memory quilts, as Jacob has a pillow and bear made of some of his first sleepsuits, but I think this quilt would probably cover most of the town.
I'm not sure if I'm having trouble parting with them as they were all "chemo" sleep suits, or "operation" sleepsuits and they hold a little bit more of a memory than they normally would? But frankly, I either need to get realistic, or hire a storage locker. Or get a bigger house, but who can afford a bigger house these days!

This then led to me organising my kitchen cupboards...basically, I'm certain I have a Tupperware issue. I have so many tubs and lunch boxes and snack boxes that you would think I was saving them up to build that bigger house. For weeks, every time I open the cupboard above the sink, it rained Tupperware. And then I'd launch it all back in and quickly shut the cupboard door. But no more! Organised heaven. I'm that pleased, I'd show you a photo, but I'm pretty sure you don't care less!

In between all the organising, we finally managed to go for a walk somewhere other than the woods by our house. Jacob is such an outdoors kid, and I do like being outside, just not when its freezing!!! He would stay out there forever though I think. Just Jacob and me went with my mum as she lives right next to the park. And we took her lunatic Jack Russell, Archie. Who will attack you if you pick up a stick and hold it for more than 3 seconds before launching it as far as possible. The walk paired with the fresh air absolutely wiped Jacob out, so getting from 3pm to bedtime at 7pm was a struggle. And at 6.45pm, Jacob seemed to get a second wind of energy...so bedtime was more like 8pm! He woke up extremely hungry again after not eating dinner, again. Although, he ate a whole bowl of porridge, banana, strawberries and a yogurt at breakfast this morning so that is an improvement!!! Fingers crossed it stays this way and he's getting his appetite back.

We've been busy!

Again, it's been ages since I posted. Jacob has become a crazed, little tantrum throwing toddler and that with Christmas and new year has just been chaos. The week before Christmas just flew by, and I started writing about 3 blog posts and never got round to finishing them.

Christmas was lovely, it was really nice not to cook this year as I have the last couple. Jacob still didn't really get Christmas and presents, he loved his toys we got him and everything he got from everyone else, but to an eighteen month old, it doesn't have quite the same effect as it does on a four or five year old. I cannot wait until he's up screaming that Santa has been in a few years time. That's when it gets more expensive though I hear, as they know what they want, and its usually everything!
I have to admit, I was quite moody Christmas day. All I wanted to do was eat pâté and brie and drink prosecco. And was fed up that I couldn't. Obviously, I'm glad to be pregnant and so excited, but I also love my food. And pâté is definitely a favourite of mine. Chicken liver to be specific, and that's a no no. So I stuck to plain old cheddar and some Boursin. Which I googled to check I was actually allowed it!!

Jacob had a check up at the Royal London Hospital this week, and I woke up Wednesday morning with a really bad feeling. I said to Rich "I don't think it's going to be good today." Taking Jacob down to theatre was chaos, he screamed the whole way as he must now remember what's going to happen. And then he buried his head in my neck when the doctors were trying to put his mask on so he could go to sleep. He really fought it this time, and I cried for the first time in ages walking back round to his bed. It may well have been pregnancy hormones, but I was so fed up of having to put him through this so regularly. He came back round quite quickly from theatre and unlike last time, he was not happy. He was so hungry, he practically inhaled his banana and started to choke. And by choke, I mean full on silent choking that felt like it lasted forever. Rich managed to give him a good pat on the back while he was tipped over his arm and he coughed it up. I was literally seconds away from screaming into the ward. Which would have terrified everybody. The first aid course we went to while I was pregnant came in handy. I realised how utterly useless I would probably be if I was on my own, and that's a little bit scary! I'm sure mothers instinct would kick in, but I definitely panicked a lot more than I'd have liked.
Mr Sagoo came round not long after and told us Jacob was still stable, which was brilliant as the day had gone so horribly so far, I thought there's no way its good news! We are back in nine weeks, which is the middle of March.

Elsewhere, Jacob has become a crazed One Direction fan. He absolutely loves them. It's become our calm down tool. If he is going nuts, we just switch them on and he's dancing away. I don't mind, as I secretly like them and I think Rich has had no choice but to become a fan either!
Jacob has had four teeth start coming over the last few weeks. And with it, he has become a very fussy eater. I don't know if its tied into the teething for sure as a few of my friends are having the same problem, but he will pick at everything. He hasn't eaten a full meal in about two weeks now. And this morning he was awake at 4.45am hungry! And even then, the only thing he would eat was half a brioche and a banana. After having a brilliant eater, it is really tough when they get fussy! I have tried everything. And he isn't at the "if you don't eat, you go hungry" stage yet so I am literally trying about 4 options every evening with dinner. A few people have told me not to do this as it can make it worse and then they get clever about it. So I think I may have to take a different approach! Any tips?!

4am is the new 7am.

Oh my gosh, I don't think I've been this tired since Jacob was first born. We've recently decided that afternoon naps are no longer necessary (again) and that its completely normal to get up for the day at 4am. He's just gone down for a nap and it's only 8.30, which is going to ruin his whole day now. Yes, I am a routine drill Sargent. Jacob has always had the same sort of routine so if anything changes, it just messes up his whole day. So the 8.30am nap means he will be an absolute grotbag by around 1pm. And if he skips his afternoon nap again, he will be a total sleep deprived monster by bedtime and then we can do it all over again. We have been very lucky with Jacob going down to bed. From around six weeks old, he had a bath, bottle then bed. At first, he went in his Moses basket in our room and we'd leave him to go off on his own, although for the first few nights, I would sit outside our room or peer round the door until he went to sleep. Then he went into his own room at 3 and a half months as he filled his Moses basket and we wanted him to be used to it before his chemo started as we didn't want an upheaval when he would be feeling rubbish anyway. The times obviously changed as he got older and settled more into a routine with feeding and daily naps and bedtime slowly dropped from 10pm to 7pm which it is now. Although last night he went to bed at 6pm as he was so tired. I wish babies understood when you explained to them that if they slept, they wouldn't feel so pooped. Jacob just looks at me like I'm mad when he's throwing a wobbly and I'm stood there going "well Jacob, if you'd have slept or gotten up at a normal time this would be happening right now would it." I just get another scream as a response.
So right now, with the first bit of quiet I've had since 4.45am, I am torn between having a nap, washing my hair or having a cup of tea (as I couldn't drink the first one I made due to my insane little monster refusing to allow me to sit still.)

...So, I opted for all three, and managed to squeeze them all in! Well I didn't really have a nap, just laid on the bed revelling in the silence. And I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea more in my life. Jacob slept for around two hours, and woke up in a reasonably good mood! We've started going for a walk after his morning nap, just to kill some time really because he normally is quite miserable between his morning nap and lunch. Plus it builds up his appetite a bit! We've had some trouble with him eating since we've been letting him sit at his little table and chairs to eat, he gets up and looses interest quite quickly. He still eats, but just takes a lot longer and then he gets bored. So I think we may go back to the booster seat at the table.
My dad and step mum came over with my little sister this afternoon, and for the first time, I saw Jacob being a bit of a monkey with sharing his toys. My little sister is nearly 3 so she's still learning about sharing too. But Jacob was trying to take everything Katie picked up. And he was not happy when I took it back to Katie. This age is definitely living up to its reputation as "the hard stage." My happy, independent boy has become a miserable clingbot. He woke up from his afternoon nap extremely unhappy and sat on my lap eating his rice cakes through groans and moans. Rich played some ball with him when he got home from work so I could cook dinner, which probably would have proved a mission with Jacob hanging off my leg! I feel like I constantly repeat myself, but I really hope he sleeps better tonight!

We went to Wild & Wacky as usual on Monday and to Jo Jingles. Jacob really enjoyed himself. He climbed around all of the soft play and went up to the slide all by himself which he never normally does. And he stood up and participated in most of Jo Jingles. He was hilarious, just wandering around like he owned the place. 

 The troublesome twosome...

 "Participate" also means "eat the instruments."

 Walking.

 We went to the park on Tuesday to try and burn some energy so Jacob had an afternoon nap. It failed.

 Jacob is obsessed with this tree stump in the woods behind our house. 

Cruising in Jacob's car.

I am arranging a fundraiser for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust as I couldn't make the Carrots Night walk this year, which we did last year and raised an unbelievable £7000! In all honesty, I just totally forgot to sign up this year which is a bummer because I really wanted to do it as it was quite good fun and I met some amazing people last year. So, to ease my guilt for being useless and forgetting, I have decided to throw a children's Halloween Disco. Originally, I was going to just have a Halloween party at home for my friends and their children, but my friend suggested we turn it into a fundraiser. So since last week, I have been planning that! It's quite stressful but people have been so generous with raffle prizes and donations. Its so lovely to know there are people out there who want to help. I'm sure it will be worth all the stress and worry on the day! And I cannot wait to dress Jacob up in some crazy costume!

Where has my son gone?!

Since Sunday, it is like Jacob has been replaced with a different child. He has been so grumpy and clingy and totally of his food (still). He is normally always so happy, but since Sunday afternoon we have had tears and tantrums aplenty. And I am exhausted. He has just gone down for a nap after a slightly better morning than the last 3. We've been up at 5am, throwing milk across the living room, screaming blue murder at the front door because he wants to go out. Bringing me his shoes because he wants to go out and dragging me to the back door because he wants to go out. The only thing I have taken from all of this is that he obviously hates me and wants to move out. He now knows to take my hand and take me to where he wants to go. And if it isn't the front or back door, it's to the cupboard under the stairs where the hoover lives. Because he is totally obsessed with our Hetty the Hoover. But if I turn it on, all hell breaks loose. It has been very hard the last few days, and by no means am I complaining, but we have been quite lucky to have a happy, sociable boy pretty much all of the time. So to have Jacob clinging to my legs and hanging off my tshirt has been quite difficult. I can normally do the washing up or make a cup of tea or clean up after lunch, but the last few days, this has been totally impossible. So my house looks like a bomb has gone off, there is porridge all over the walls, Wotsit dust all over the sofa and juice all over the floor. By the time Rich gets home from work, I am climbing the walls. I haven't even bothered to turn off cbeebies when Jacob finally settles for a nap. I actually went back to sleep yesterday for half an hour because I think I may have cried had I not caught up on a few winks. A few of my friends are having similar troubles with their little ones at the moment and they are all very close in age. So it may be a phase, or it may be a coincidence! Originally I thought it was teething and he had the nice big molar through at the end of last week, and it might still be, but it has certainly been a testing few days. We went to Jo Jingles on Monday as it has now started up again after the school holidays. I was very close to not going as Jacob was so miserable but I thought a change of scenery and some socialising might do him some good. We met my friend John there with Darcie as they are little Jo Jingle's buddies. He was still quite clingy and didn't really go off to play on his own like he normally would, so I spent my time being pulled around by my finger and in the ball pit with him. And let me tell you, there is no glamorous way to climb into the ball pit at Wild & Wacky. Jacob didn't really participate in Jo Jingles except for when the maracas came out. Otherwise he was trying to escape through the door. He did eat all of his lunch though which was the first time he has finished a meal for about a week. He has been totally off his food again, only eating his fruit still. The Innocent smoothies for kids have proven a good buy though, as he has been inhaling them. So that's something! 

 Possibly one of the only (half) smiles from Monday...

Ball pit buddies.

 Grumpy guts in his awesome hoody from Next.

Smoothie monster

We had quite alot of laughs and smiles this morning and he even ate all of his porridge, by himself with a spoon! So I'm hoping Jacob is feeling a bit better now. I did start to panic a bit as he wanted his hand held everytime he walked, that his vision in his left eye may have changed and the tumour has started to grow again and affect it. I'm pretty sure that's just my mind going into overdrive. But when he's normally so happy, I do really worry when he is so unsettled. Everyone just says it's kids and he's just coming into himself and seeing what he can get away with. So I am really hoping that's the case. At 15 months, this is definitely the hardest but also the most fun age so far. He is so so funny at the moment, and doing new things everyday. This morning, he actually drove his Toot Toot Drivers cars around the track and he has also started to try to build his Mega Bloks. I've also started to let him use crayons and we have managed to keep it on the paper so far! Oh, and in his mouth obviously. I freaked out but Rich assured me they are non-toxic. So all I can expect is some multi-coloured nappy contents! 

Another new trick he's learned recently...dunking!

Seaside Saturday

We have had a busy weekend! We spent Saturday at Clacton-on-sea as my mums side of the family (which is huge) all hired caravans for the weekend, so we gatecrashed for the day on Saturday. Jacob slept absolutely terribly on Friday night, he was up at 3am and that was it. Awake for the day. The drive to Clacton was about an hour and a half so we'd arranged to leave at ten which is Jacobs nap time and hoped he would sleep the whole way. He managed to hold out until ten which really surprised me seeing as he was up at 3. Although he was extremely grumpy! He's totally gone off cereal for breakfast too and will only eat his toast or chocolate chip brioche. I bought some of those Innocent Kids smoothies on sunday so hopefully he will like those so I know he's at least getting something good in him in the mornings! I think he's still teething as he has been extra dribbly and the bibbles have come out again! They ruin all of his nice outfits as they don't really match and I don't want to buy loads more as he has so many. Just none seem to match!
We took Jacob to the seafront in Clacton. Its mostly a pebble beach but he absolutely loved it! He kept trying to go into the sea, and loved the water running up over his feet. He was so excited and actually managed to run around on the sand and pebbles. Not bad considering he's only been walking a few weeks! Although he does think he's some kind of Olympic sprinter now so we've had lots of bumps and bruises recently!
We spent most of the afternoon at my mums caravan with all the family and Jacob seemed to really enjoy himself, which was quite surprising with so many people there. He had quite a late night too by the time we left so was quite unsettled most of the night, but he stayed in his own bed all night which was brilliant.

Lou and Aaron asked if they could take Jacob out for a couple of hours on Sunday afternoon. They've looked after him before so I wasn't worried at all. And he loves them so was more than happy to go! Rich and me went to Tesco on our own which was really weird! Jacob came back all ready for a nap after Lou's dad played football with him and he was running around her garden but he decided sleep was not on the cards! He has been so funny with sleeping still and his naps are all over the place. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!!! 

More celebrating and a new trick...

We had a little birthday gathering for Rich on Saturday. Nothing big and fancy, just a BBQ at home with family and a few of Rich's friends. Rich got a new BBQ for his birthday so he couldn't wait to try it out. It was a really lovely day. I can't believe how much food everybody ate! We bought so much and everyone who came brought something too and nearly everything got eaten. Jacob enjoyed lots of birthday cake, and managed to make so much mess with his dinner. Jacob didn't nap all day because so much was going on and if he misses his naps we know we are in for a bad night usually. He kept waking up every hour or so after going to bed around 7pm, then once we went to bed around 11, he just would not settle back off so I gave in and brought him into our bed. I absolutely love having him in there because he can be so cuddly and I used to love just laying with him when he was tiny and didn't constantly want to run away from me. But on the other hand, I do really try not to do it unless it is a total last resort because I don't sleep well if he's in our bed and it can take a few days of controlled crying to get him to stay back in his own room. Which I hate doing!!! So many people have such different opinions on controlled crying, and I refused to ever do it for around a year. But when Jacob was still having a nighttime bottle out of habit and was waking at 4am screaming to get up, I thought we'd give it a go. And after two really horrendous nights and almost giving up because I felt like the worst mother in the world (and I was petrified my neighbours thought I was neglecting him!) he slept through on the third night. Which was amazing. He very rarely sleeps right through still as he normally wakes up and cries if he can't find his dummy. Which can sometimes be once or sometimes be five or six times. I'm sure he will sleep through one day...when he's 25 or something!

Enjoying dinner...

CAKE!

The dreaded moment when Jacob takes out his own eye happened yesterday. It is far too small now so has so much room to move around and if he rubs it, it can move so easily, and as we found yesterday, come out. He managed to get it out twice before we even left the house yesterday morning, but he was only on our bed so it was easy to find. We were on our way home from Tesco in the car when I turned round to say something to Jacob because he was in the back waffling away, to which I was greeted with a one eyed little monster. He was sitting there chuckling away, obviously because it doesn't make any difference to him whether he's got it in or not. So I was in the back of the car scrambling around for this tiny little prosthetic eye. It made me laugh because of all funny experiences with your children, I never thought one of mine would be searching for my sons little plastic eye because he had managed to take it out and launch it across the back seat of the car. I cannot wait until Friday so he has his new one! 

We ended up staying home today as yesterday was so chaotic for Jacob and after last nights horrendous nights sleep I thought we better try and have a more settled day. We had a family roast dinner and as always Jacob shovelled away everything on his plate. The boy eats anything which is so amazing as a lot of kids who've had chemo can tend to become fussy eaters. Rich is an unbelievably fussy eater and I'll eat anything so I was determined for Jacob to be the same and enjoy his food. Plus it's an excuse for me to make more fancy stuff for us! Like we do most Sundays, we went to feed the ducks in the pond just up the road from our house. Jacob always tries to climb over the edge into the pond, so you have to have eyes in the back of your head as he's so quick now! 

He's gone to bed quite good so let's hope tonight is a better night!!! 

Snuggling Ralph.

Today was Ralph's last day with us! I'm sad to see him go! 

My little piggy.

The boys at the duck pond.

My world. 

<3