Freezing and food.

I can not wait for some warmer weather. I caught Jacobs cold last week which meant I have been ill for the whole of January. Which makes me hate this month just a little bit more. We've been apparently getting snow here for days now, however, it's just a pathetic little sprinkle every time. I could deal with the cold a little bit more if there was snow. All I want to do is eat. And that is all I've done. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. I ate a huge dinner the other night, and within an hour I was starving again. I've tried not to stuff my face too much, but it has been hard. At work on Thursday, I ate a huge lunch before I started, then a Snickers halfway through my shift. And then still wanted more. I didn't take cash in with me on purpose as we have a Coke vending machine and another one filled with chocolate and crisps. Fatal. To say I inhaled my dinner would probably be an understatement. The problem is, I think I can eat a lot, and then feel like I actually might burst. While I'm eating, I'm fighting the desire to eat everything and feel hideous, or eat little still be hungry. Eat everything usually wins. And then I spend the evening moaning.

Jacobs eating is back on track which I'm so pleased about. Although he doesn't always eat his lunch, I think its a ploy to get out of going for his nap as he now has it after lunch as opposed to before. We just found that he lasts better for the afternoon if he has it slightly later. He always wakes up super hungry though so wants to eat everything in sight which ruins dinnertime. So we are currently trying to get a small but satisfying enough snack in that will hold him over until dinner. Otherwise we can guarantee a 5am wake up call where he's hungry through not eating his dinner. It really is a never ending battle!

We had a ridiculously busy day on Saturday, compared to usual anyway! We had to go pick up Lady Wright's wheels in the morning. We went for a single pram with a buggy board forJacob, he will just be two when she arrives which I think may be a little young for a buggy board, but he absolutely loves walking, so I'd rather give that a try before buying a double. Everyone has said I'm nuts, but we will see. I'll be the woman running through the town chasing a toddler whilst trying to navigate through the shoppers with my single pram.

Jacob had a birthday party in the afternoon, then we had dinner for my mums birthday in the evening. The birthday party was at a soft play place where Jacob hadn't been before so he wasn't as confident as usual when all the kids went into play. And as it was the weekend, it was utter chaos in there. Bigger kids really don't see anything that isn't in their eye line do they?! Jacob got knocked over about three times, luckily he got straight back up, but it did nothing for my nerves. They're like human shaped bulldozers!!! I also discovered that I no longer fit through some of the little holes like I used to. Very upsetting. As part of the little party, the kids got dinner so Jacob had nuggets and chips. But he's a never really been a fan of what I call "slam in the oven" dinners, so I didn't expect him to eat anything. But he ate the whole lot. And then his ice cream. And sat still the whole time. He was so well behaved, I actually got a little teary about it when we left. (Pregnancy hormones I'm sure!) I'm not sure if it was because there were twenty other children sat with him doing the same, but either way, it was lovely not to have to chase him round the tables. He is really good when we go to Wild & Wacky and have lunch there so I'm not sure if its just practice?! However, the few times we've braved going out for dinner to a restaurant, he's a restless little fiend. Maybe we've turned a corner, but I doubt it! That would be too easy! 

Now I'm living in fear, waiting for the germ that Jacob comes out in over the next couple of days as he always manages to catch something when we go to a soft play...

Toys R Us Takeover & Happy Birthday Tommy!

After the horrendous start to the week, Jacob seemed back to himself on Wednesday, thank god! He was so good all day, and really funny. He has become such a little character now. It's nuts. It's so hard to believe that he's nearly 16 months and so independent. He's started to say a few more words this week too, a favourite being "touch" as he points to trees and flowers. When we walk Lex, our dog, he just spends his time shouting "touch!" And reaching out for the trees. It does make the dog walk take a little bit longer than usual, but his face when he grabs the leaves is hilarious, so I don't mind!

In December last year, a guy named Alan did a sponsored swim for Jacob. We thought the money would be going to CHECT, but he actually raised the money for Jacob personally which was amazing. So on Thursday, we raided Toys R Us! Jacob ran around like a crazy little toddler, exactly what he should be like in a toy shop! Ever since we found out we were having a boy when I was pregnant, Rich was obsessed with getting our son the Audi R8 battery powered car they've had in Toys R Us for ages. Originally, he wanted to get Jacob an iPad, but I really didn't want him to have one, at least not yet. Or for a couple of years at least! He enjoys being outside and playing with his non-tech toys so much, that I don't want that to stop. Not yet!
So we got him the car, which was for age 3 and up but Rich is determined that he'll have him driving it by the end of next week, (yeah right!) the parking tower to go with his Toot Toot Drivers set, a Henry Hoover so hopefully he doesn't care for mine anymore and a My First Thomas the Tank Engine as he has taken a bit of a shine to Thomas and friends recently! We also got him a plastic table and chairs as he has gotten a bit stressy about being strapped into his booster seat and won't eat much, but now he can sit there and get up and move around as he pleases, he's eaten much better!

Jacobs friend Tommy turned one on the 11th September, so we went to his birthday party on Saturday. It was lovely for all the kids to get together as its quite hard with everyone's schedules. Chloe, Tommy's mum, hired soft play equipment for the kids and it was brilliant! They had this little ride on rollercoaster thing and all the kids loved it. Although Jacob preferred climbing up the slopes as opposed to sitting on the cars. Because of the party time, Jacob missed his afternoon nap but did really well! He totally flaked in the car on the way home but because it was already 5.30, I didn't really want him to nap as he goes to bed at 7pm. NEVER WAKE UP A NAPPING BABY. He was so grumpy! Didn't want his dinner, but ate nearly a whole punnet of strawberries! He went to bed at around 6.45 as he was so grumpy, and woke up at 7.45am this morning! (Obviously a few dummy wake ups!) So he's been super happy this morning, so far! I'm having a dinner date with some of the work girls tonight, so hopefully he's a good boy for Rich! 

 They look like a little bunch of old men! The birthday boy in the middle! 

Jacob and Roman having their party food picnic. 

Where has my son gone?!

Since Sunday, it is like Jacob has been replaced with a different child. He has been so grumpy and clingy and totally of his food (still). He is normally always so happy, but since Sunday afternoon we have had tears and tantrums aplenty. And I am exhausted. He has just gone down for a nap after a slightly better morning than the last 3. We've been up at 5am, throwing milk across the living room, screaming blue murder at the front door because he wants to go out. Bringing me his shoes because he wants to go out and dragging me to the back door because he wants to go out. The only thing I have taken from all of this is that he obviously hates me and wants to move out. He now knows to take my hand and take me to where he wants to go. And if it isn't the front or back door, it's to the cupboard under the stairs where the hoover lives. Because he is totally obsessed with our Hetty the Hoover. But if I turn it on, all hell breaks loose. It has been very hard the last few days, and by no means am I complaining, but we have been quite lucky to have a happy, sociable boy pretty much all of the time. So to have Jacob clinging to my legs and hanging off my tshirt has been quite difficult. I can normally do the washing up or make a cup of tea or clean up after lunch, but the last few days, this has been totally impossible. So my house looks like a bomb has gone off, there is porridge all over the walls, Wotsit dust all over the sofa and juice all over the floor. By the time Rich gets home from work, I am climbing the walls. I haven't even bothered to turn off cbeebies when Jacob finally settles for a nap. I actually went back to sleep yesterday for half an hour because I think I may have cried had I not caught up on a few winks. A few of my friends are having similar troubles with their little ones at the moment and they are all very close in age. So it may be a phase, or it may be a coincidence! Originally I thought it was teething and he had the nice big molar through at the end of last week, and it might still be, but it has certainly been a testing few days. We went to Jo Jingles on Monday as it has now started up again after the school holidays. I was very close to not going as Jacob was so miserable but I thought a change of scenery and some socialising might do him some good. We met my friend John there with Darcie as they are little Jo Jingle's buddies. He was still quite clingy and didn't really go off to play on his own like he normally would, so I spent my time being pulled around by my finger and in the ball pit with him. And let me tell you, there is no glamorous way to climb into the ball pit at Wild & Wacky. Jacob didn't really participate in Jo Jingles except for when the maracas came out. Otherwise he was trying to escape through the door. He did eat all of his lunch though which was the first time he has finished a meal for about a week. He has been totally off his food again, only eating his fruit still. The Innocent smoothies for kids have proven a good buy though, as he has been inhaling them. So that's something! 

 Possibly one of the only (half) smiles from Monday...

Ball pit buddies.

 Grumpy guts in his awesome hoody from Next.

Smoothie monster

We had quite alot of laughs and smiles this morning and he even ate all of his porridge, by himself with a spoon! So I'm hoping Jacob is feeling a bit better now. I did start to panic a bit as he wanted his hand held everytime he walked, that his vision in his left eye may have changed and the tumour has started to grow again and affect it. I'm pretty sure that's just my mind going into overdrive. But when he's normally so happy, I do really worry when he is so unsettled. Everyone just says it's kids and he's just coming into himself and seeing what he can get away with. So I am really hoping that's the case. At 15 months, this is definitely the hardest but also the most fun age so far. He is so so funny at the moment, and doing new things everyday. This morning, he actually drove his Toot Toot Drivers cars around the track and he has also started to try to build his Mega Bloks. I've also started to let him use crayons and we have managed to keep it on the paper so far! Oh, and in his mouth obviously. I freaked out but Rich assured me they are non-toxic. So all I can expect is some multi-coloured nappy contents! 

Another new trick he's learned recently...dunking!

Ball play.

We go to soft play and Jo Jingles every Monday. Jo Jingles is a singing and movement class for 6 months to around 5 years. Jacob absolutely loves it and at home he will do the actions to Wind The Bobbin Up and a few other songs. However when we are there, he just sits there smiling like a lunatic, doesn't do any of the actions and then claps to the sleeping bunnies song, to which he's supposed to be quiet.

I absolutely love going and watching him clamber around the soft play and try to keep balance in the ball pit. And he loves to sit watching other kids. You would never ever think he was going through what he does. 

It's quite nerve wracking when other mums talk to Jacob or older kids look at him and talk to him as I just panic they're going to ask about his eye. Most people don't even notice, even my family have to ask which eye is artificial sometimes. (Although I don't know if they're just being polite!) The worst part is when you get chatting to other mums and they ask how old Jacob is, and when I say "13 months." I just know what's coming next... "Isn't he little!!!!" Most of the time I just laugh it off and say "yeah he's a little squirt." But sometimes I feel like screaming at them "YES HE IS! He's got bloody cancer, that's why he's small!" Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue. And I know no mums mean anything by it, I'm sure I've said it to someone else before. But when you have a child that you know will be slightly different to other children, (how many kids are going to be able to take their eye out to show their friends!?) you can't help but feel defensive. 

Sometimes it's easy to joke about it, like when he's going crazy and diving around in the ball pit, I joke and think what the staff would think when I ask them to empty the ball pit because my sons eye is in there somewhere. And as with everyone else, I'd either make them cry, or they'd just look ridiculously uncomfortable and oblige. Jacob just sits there smiling at the "head tilters" because he doesn't know or care less what anyone thinks of him. And that's the way I hope it stays.  

Ballpit beast.

Jo Jingling.

I really recommend Jo Jingles to anyone with kids under about 4. Go to their website to find a class near you. www.jojingles.com