The naughty step.

We have hit the terrible twos. I'm sure of it. Tantrums galore. We originally started the naughty step around a month ago, but Jacob seemed to enjoy it and purposely do things he shouldn't so he could sit on it. Novelty?! Well that wore off after a week. And I hear that the offending child should sit there for same amount of minutes as their age. So we've been doing around 1 and a half to two minutes. Well I sincerely hope he learns quickly because those two minutes feel like two years. We've gone with the stopping crying before being allowed to come off also, but normally after the two minutes and telling Jacob to stop crying, he's normally pretty good. He does seem to be learning slowly. If I say "do you want to go on the naughty step?" He shouts "No!" And tends to stop whatever roguish thing he's doing. Obviously this isnt the case every time. Especially after some chocolate buttons or something nice and e number filled.
A few people have said to me that Jacob can probably sense the changes happening which explains the sudden change in naughty behaviour. To be honest, I'm sure all kids go through this trying phase and I'm just going to deal with it the best I can and my way. And if that doesn't work, then I'll just be a ragged mum of two constantly shouting at my toddler to no avail. But let's hope not!

Jacobs eating has gone a bit up the wall too, he's decided he no longer likes bread or any of its friends. So wraps, crackers, bagels, rolls, none of it is suitable for lunch anymore. He's taken to grazing most of the day but I try to stop him from eating anything from about 3pm so that he eats a full meal at dinner time. He's never been a fan of what I call "oven" dinners, so chicken nuggets, fish fingers etc but he will eat most other things. And the other day he ate a real sausage! Not one of the processed mushy ones in beans or spaghetti, a real sausage! Haha. I was so pleased because he's never really eaten real meat on its own. So ham, roast chicken, mince etc. If it's in something such as a cottage pie, pasta dish or a chilli for example, he will eat it but not a chicken breast or ham sandwich, but that could also be the current bread avoidance too! I hear this I quite common around Jacob's age so let's hope it's a phase.

Jacob seems to be coming along so much with his his speech, it is so funny listening to him ramble on. He says "yeah" now but in a little American accent and it is so cute. And he has finally started to call me Mummy!!! I have been "Char" for forever and I hated it! Now he calls my sister Char Char, which is what my nephew calls me. I cannot believe he will be two in less than three weeks. It's gone so so fast!

The weather has been lovely here for the last couple of weeks, so we've spent most days outside. We also went to feed the lambs at "Pets Corner" which is a little petting zoo near our house. It was lovely, although Jacob did try to kick the little lamb in the head. Everything is "goaaaaall!" at the moment. He is so into football already, Rich is very pleased!!

We went to a new playgroup last week at a church in our town. It was recommended by my friend Fran, so we went along. It was 10-11.30 which is perfect for us as Jacob normally naps around 12.30ish now. They have an hours playtime, then "tidy up time" which Jacob actually participated in, then they have snacks and then finish with singing. It was honestly the nicest playgroup we've been to so will definitely go again.

I have noticed Jacob has developed a bit of a nervous "thing" I guess is what to call it. When people are making a fuss of him, he tends to cover his right (artificial) eye. Its only been the last couple of weeks and he's even doing it to my mum who he sees all the time. We've not made a deal of it as I'm hoping it's just a little thing he is going through, but I am worried that it's because he knows it is different. Rich said he doesn't think so as he is so young, but I'm not sure! We will see how it goes!

I'm going to do a separate pregnancy post I think as its taken me nearly a month to write this one so I'll never get done otherwise. Worst blogger ever!!!!

Where has my son gone?!

Since Sunday, it is like Jacob has been replaced with a different child. He has been so grumpy and clingy and totally of his food (still). He is normally always so happy, but since Sunday afternoon we have had tears and tantrums aplenty. And I am exhausted. He has just gone down for a nap after a slightly better morning than the last 3. We've been up at 5am, throwing milk across the living room, screaming blue murder at the front door because he wants to go out. Bringing me his shoes because he wants to go out and dragging me to the back door because he wants to go out. The only thing I have taken from all of this is that he obviously hates me and wants to move out. He now knows to take my hand and take me to where he wants to go. And if it isn't the front or back door, it's to the cupboard under the stairs where the hoover lives. Because he is totally obsessed with our Hetty the Hoover. But if I turn it on, all hell breaks loose. It has been very hard the last few days, and by no means am I complaining, but we have been quite lucky to have a happy, sociable boy pretty much all of the time. So to have Jacob clinging to my legs and hanging off my tshirt has been quite difficult. I can normally do the washing up or make a cup of tea or clean up after lunch, but the last few days, this has been totally impossible. So my house looks like a bomb has gone off, there is porridge all over the walls, Wotsit dust all over the sofa and juice all over the floor. By the time Rich gets home from work, I am climbing the walls. I haven't even bothered to turn off cbeebies when Jacob finally settles for a nap. I actually went back to sleep yesterday for half an hour because I think I may have cried had I not caught up on a few winks. A few of my friends are having similar troubles with their little ones at the moment and they are all very close in age. So it may be a phase, or it may be a coincidence! Originally I thought it was teething and he had the nice big molar through at the end of last week, and it might still be, but it has certainly been a testing few days. We went to Jo Jingles on Monday as it has now started up again after the school holidays. I was very close to not going as Jacob was so miserable but I thought a change of scenery and some socialising might do him some good. We met my friend John there with Darcie as they are little Jo Jingle's buddies. He was still quite clingy and didn't really go off to play on his own like he normally would, so I spent my time being pulled around by my finger and in the ball pit with him. And let me tell you, there is no glamorous way to climb into the ball pit at Wild & Wacky. Jacob didn't really participate in Jo Jingles except for when the maracas came out. Otherwise he was trying to escape through the door. He did eat all of his lunch though which was the first time he has finished a meal for about a week. He has been totally off his food again, only eating his fruit still. The Innocent smoothies for kids have proven a good buy though, as he has been inhaling them. So that's something! 

 Possibly one of the only (half) smiles from Monday...

Ball pit buddies.

 Grumpy guts in his awesome hoody from Next.

Smoothie monster

We had quite alot of laughs and smiles this morning and he even ate all of his porridge, by himself with a spoon! So I'm hoping Jacob is feeling a bit better now. I did start to panic a bit as he wanted his hand held everytime he walked, that his vision in his left eye may have changed and the tumour has started to grow again and affect it. I'm pretty sure that's just my mind going into overdrive. But when he's normally so happy, I do really worry when he is so unsettled. Everyone just says it's kids and he's just coming into himself and seeing what he can get away with. So I am really hoping that's the case. At 15 months, this is definitely the hardest but also the most fun age so far. He is so so funny at the moment, and doing new things everyday. This morning, he actually drove his Toot Toot Drivers cars around the track and he has also started to try to build his Mega Bloks. I've also started to let him use crayons and we have managed to keep it on the paper so far! Oh, and in his mouth obviously. I freaked out but Rich assured me they are non-toxic. So all I can expect is some multi-coloured nappy contents! 

Another new trick he's learned recently...dunking!

Playdates and immunisations.

My friend Kayleigh asked if I would look after her little girl Darcie for a few hours on Monday. I jumped at the chance as I absolutely love her and she loves Jacob. They are so cute together. She's two next month so there's about 9 months between them. She looks after Jacob when she's with him, the way she goes upto him and leans over and checks he's okay and offers him his drink is absolutely adorable. Jacob went for his afternoon nap not long after Darcie got here and the whole time she kept asking where he was. She just kept going "Jacob?". She associates him with slides as we go to Wild and Wacky together a lot and Jacob tends to climb up the slide while Darcie is trying to go down. 

My friend Laura was here with Jacobs BFF Jonah, and my sister was also here with Teddy so it was rather chaotic! Luckily the weather was good so they were all playing outside. My neighbours probably think I'm running some back alley crèche. 

Darcie is so well behaved, I knew I wouldn't have any trouble handling her and Jacob together. Makes me think another one of my own will be a piece of cake (yeah right.) I do keep threatening to kidnap Darcie, but her dad John didn't seem too keen on the idea...

Char Char's Nursery. 

Playing house.

Buddies.

Today, we had the first of Jacob's immunisations post chemo. He only had the 8 week ones first time round as he was diagnosed with Rb at 12 weeks and we actually had to cancel his 12 week lot due to his first appointment at the Royal London Hospital. It was then we found out he would be having chemotherapy so we were advised by his consultant not to continue with them. For a couple of reasons, one being that his bloods and immunity will probably be too low and it's too risky to inject him with live viruses. And the second was that the chemo would wipe out any immunity he had anyway so effectively would wipe out the vaccines. We've had to time his injections around his RLH visits too because if he was to get a fever in the week or so before going there, whether it be from teething or a vaccine or a cold, the anaesthetists can refuse to see him and to put him to sleep. And obviously his appointments at RLH are a priority to us so that always came first. Luckily, with the amazing news last week and our four week break, we've been able to fit them in.

He is due to have them all again, so the 8, 12 and 16 week ones and then the one year MMR. The nurse gave me the choice of him having all 5 injections today, then the boosters in a month, or we could spread them out a little bit. I opted for the latter as I didn't want him to have all of them and completely knock him for six. He had the MMR today too which I wasn't expecting. I know there are so many mixed feelings about this vaccine, and Rich and me have spoken about it, but at the end of the day, with everything Jacob has gone through and the fact that if he was to get any of the illnesses, his cancer treatment could be delayed, there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted him to have it. Yes, he could easily get over measles but if it delayed his cancer treatment, would it be worth it? Never. 

He was so, so brave. I was so nervous that I asked my sister to come with me. I went with her for Teddy's one year vaccinations and it was absolutely hideous. He was sat on Sophie's lap all happy and laughing at me and then the nurse stuck the needles in and his face absolutely dropped and it was the most heartbreaking little face ever. I can still see it now. So ever since then, I'd always said whenever I had a baby, Sophie could come with me and go through it herself. She'd offered to help pin him if he went mad, but to be honest, after pinning him every other week for when he's put to sleep, I knew I'd be okay. He was easy enough to keep still and the nurse was pretty speedy. He let out a little whimper after the last one but was fine after about ten seconds. I was honestly so shocked, but he's so used to being messed about with and prodded and poked that I don't know why I was surprised he wasn't bothered. So sad really. But he is so strong. Makes mummy look like a big wimp. The nurse at our GP surgery was so lovely, she said how wonderful it was to see Jacob and how well he's doing. He's a little bit of a celebrity down there. Everytime I ring, I get, "oh Jacob! The little boy with the poorly eye?" Yes, that's him. One time we went, and the doctor we saw grabbed some nurses going by and was introducing him to everyone. I've been going to the same surgery my whole life and it's pretty much all the same doctors so it's pretty crazy sometimes. They see so many people everyday, so it's quite touching they remember us. 

Jacob seemed happy enough after, I'd gotten the calpol at the ready just in case. He went down for his nap as normal, happy. But woke up like an angry little monster. Normally after a drink and a snack, he's back to himself. But he did not stop crying, following me around and hanging off my leg. Which was very difficult while I was trying to hang washing out. There was only one thing for it, the washing got left in the basket in a big wet pile and we watched Frozen. 

Rich brought him home a new castle tent for his room for being brave. And I'd only told the nurses earlier that he isn't spoilt. If any of you are reading this, I wasn't lying! Promise! 

I'm expecting a rough night with him, but hopefully he'll sleep well and there will be no fevers in this house! Calpol is like a little godsend to me now as we went so long with Jacob not being able to have it because of the chemo. (It can hide a fever which can be an infection in their Hickman line/port-a-cath) Through teething and colds and coughs, we just had to let him ride it out. It took me so long after his chemo had finished to even give him any calpol or nurofen through fear of a missed infection or something. But as silly as it sounds, I am so grateful for it now. Especially with the teething! 

As I'm finishing writing this, Rich and me are tag teaming trying to settle Jacob, looks like post immunisation grumpiness doesn't like to sleep...

The king of the castle. 

Mummy trying to get in on the action!

Thankyou for reading!x