Getting the hang of it...

I'm going to regret saying this, but I think I'm finally getting to grips with two babies. Obviously, we still have our tough moments, well, tough days. But I finally look forward to getting up and spending the day with my little offspring. Alba seems much more settled, although she is still being sick for England. Jacob wasn't a sicky baby at all, I think he was only ever sick about 3 times and they were during chemotherapy. Alba, however, likes to be sick ALOT. And it comes out of her nose nearly every time. And her little face when she panics about it breaks my heart. My mum tells me I was exactly the same, every single time I was sick. As a child with a sickness bug, she would have to hold my head in the toilet otherwise it was like the fountains at the Bellagio in Vegas. I would decorate everywhere with sick. And to be completely honest, I'm still terrible now. I absolutely freak out every time I'm sick and cry like a baby. Which is why I have so much sympathy for my little doll. She seems happy enough otherwise though, which is brilliant. She sleeps so well at night and has slowly started to go longer between her bedtime bottle and night feed. So hopefully she will drop it soon enough and sleep through! Which would be AMAZING as Jacob didn't sleep through until Alba was born, which is weird. But I'll take it!

 Co-sleeping. Again. 

Night Monkey Day Monkey is by far my most favourite book of Jacob's at the moment. 

Today was a day of achievements for me, I braved going into town with both children by myself. We never bought a double pram as they're so huge and Jacob likes to walk alot anyway. Instead we got a buggyboard for Alba's pram. They're brilliant! Jacob thinks it's a ride so is happy stand on it when we go out. He does get off and walk a bit, but I bought reins for him so I don't have to leave the pram in the middle of the street to chase him if he tries to run away. I know a lot of people don't like kids wearing reins, but when you have a boisterous little boy like mine, they're necessary. I actually had a girl of about twelve point to Jacob and say to her little friend (in the most chavtastic voice) "I think that's disgusting!" She had to settle with a glare and me asking her "what did you say?!" as she was only 12. Had she been older I may have ran her over with the pram. Her friend then tried to fix it by saying "oh no he looks cute!!!" Damage done my friend. Yet another reason to dislike the youth of today. So, we managed to get round the whole town centre, actually go in about five shops, browse, queue and purchase things and then get home without any hiccups. I felt so pleased with not only myself, but so pleased with Jacob for behaving the whole time. The first time I went on my own, I ended up calling Rich to come and save me in Asda as I was on the brink of a meltdown.
Second achievement of the day; both babies are napping at the same time. I'm sure any parent of two little sleep stealers know how amazing this feels. So, I've taken the opportunity to write this, and to drink a HOT cup of tea. Most of the time, my tea is of a dodgy, lukewarm temperature. Or just cold. So a nice hot cup is just fabulous.
And the final achievement of the day; we went out to dinner! With the kids! It's my brother's birthday so we all went to dinner, which was lovely. I fed Jacob before we left as he normally has dinner around 5.30 and we wasn't going out until 6.30, plus, I knew he wouldn't eat out as they have a play area where we were going so getting him to sit still would be troublesome. But Rich and me both managed to eat our dinner without running for a muslin, or chasing Jacob back to the table, or chasing the dog out of the room so Jacob doesn't throw all of his food at him! It was bloody lovely! I even had a glass of wine. As Charlie Sheen would say, winning!

Jacob was so emotional on Thursday after his hospital appointment. Every little thing made him cry, and his eye was so sore and swollen, it looked like he'd been punched. It's gone down now, but getting him to have his eye drops was an absolute nightmare. I have never tried to bribe a child so much in my life. 

Bribery has been a theme of the last week, after the news that Jacob hasn't gained weight in about six months, I've been experimenting in kitchen a bit more. And trying to get him to eat more foods. More meals mainly. I've been adding cream to mash, cheese to pasta dishes, cream to scrambled eggs. Some of it works, some of it doesn't. Which is where I start bribing. Mainly with these Peppa Pig chocolate lollies that he is obsessed with. But it doesn't work. We've been good though, despite the total meltdowns, he doesn't get the lolly if he doesn't eat his dinner. As he is still young, I don't leave him to go hungry of course. Although I have been told he is old enough to not get  anything else if he doesn't eat dinner. I won't let him go to bed hungry, so he can still have fruit and yogurt for desert. Just no naughty treats.
I made cheese and broccoli savoury muffins yesterday. Silly me thought that because they looked like cakes, he would eat them. So when Jacob asked for "cakey", I took the opportunity and gave him one of the muffins I'd slaved over. He looked at it, licked it, then looked at me and said "No mummy, cakey!" Handing it back to me. Fail. The kid isn't silly. To be honest, I am so unbelievably crap at baking, (I actually forgot to put the milk in the muffin mix, but they still looked okay so served them up anyway.) So I'm not surprised he didn't want them. Next time!

A bump in the road...

Jacob had his check up at the Royal London Hospital today. As the title says, it wasn't as positive as we hoped. He was first down to theatre and gone a bit longer than usual so I had a feeling he would be having treatment. He was totally inconsolable when I collected him from recovery and was this way for around half an hour. Normally he's quite settled, has a drink then inhales his ten million different foods. He came back from theatre around 9.30 and didn't eat or drink a thing until nearly 12. Definitely not like him.
Mr Sagoo, Jacob's consultant didn't come to give us the results until about 12.30 which is the longest we've had go wait for a while! And even though I suspected it, when he said the tumour in Jacobs left eye has become active again on one side, I just cried. Except this time Jacob knew I was upset, it's been a year since he had treatment and before that it was so run of the mill that I didn't really get upset as we were so used to it with our two weekly visits! We were absolutely gutted. I knew it would probably happen at some point but it still doesn't make it any easier. Jacob had cryotherapy which freezes the cancer cells, he will probably have 2/3 rounds of this every 3 weeks for the next couple of visits. So we are back to 3 weekly trips as opposed to 3 monthly! His consultant thinks that the cryo should get it back under control but it will probably be quite a while before we have a nice gap between appointments again! Jacobs eye is quite puffy and sore and he was very quiet last night. He woke sobbing around 10pm so he came into our bed. I've become a complete serial co sleeper. Oh well! They're only little for a short time!
We finally got to see one of the families we met while Jacob was going through chemo yesterday. Skylah is a little girl who is just four days younger than Jacob and they were diagnosed around the same time and we got to know each other as they had chemo together. That's a story for when they're older! But we haven't seen each other since before I was pregnant so it was lovely to catch up. She is still having regular treatment but is a total superstar. She reminded me so much of Jacob, the way she just gets on with it. They're back at the hospital in 3 weeks too so am looking forward to seeing them again. Although Jacob clung to me for dear life and didn't want to play, so hopefully he will be a bit more cooperative next time!

We also discovered that Jacob hasn't put any weight on in around 6 months, he isn't worryingly underweight but he should still be putting it on. Alot of it is probably how active he is, and he's never been a meal eater as such, more of a grazer. But the kid certainly eats ALOT. So we've been told to fatten everything up! Cheese, cream in mashed potato, white bread and pasta. More calorific foods. You can't win! He eats so well and has always eaten lots of fruit and veg and he isn't really a fan of naughty dinners such as chicken nuggets and chips so I've got to start trying to fatten him up! Well not fatten, but ensure he is getting enough calories! I'll be putting cheese on everything!!!

 Sleepy boy!

His little post theatre setup with all of his favourte foods.

Jacob is due some eye drops, so I'm off for a battle with him! Thanks for reading! :)

Two kids is tough!

Like the title says...oh my goodness. My biggest fear when Alba was born was that she would get reflux. Jacob had it and it was absolutely horrendous. He ended up on lactose free milk and about four different medicines. I remember spending hours pacing the garden in a bid to get him to stop crying and to sleep. So, when Alba was born, I bought anti reflux bottles and a sleep positioner that keeps the baby at a slight angle. I also made sure I kept her upright when feeding and for a while after. But the reflux god had other plans. After what I originally thought was colic, a horrendous red rash, violent hiccups, sneezing like crazy after feeds and more sick than I have ever seen (out of her nose and everything!) set the alarm bells ringing. A little visit from the health visitor confirmed it all. Alba has reflux and a big fat milk allergy. Fancy bottles be damned. They don't prevent a thing! For the last two weeks, I've spent most evenings, actually most of the day alternating between crying and wanting to scream. Alba literally could not be put down until about two days ago. Literally, if I even motioned to put her down, she started this horrendous screaming like someone was yanking her limbs off. It took me hours to get ready, and I spent the best part of the morning jumping in and out of the shower, running around in my underwear or sitting on the bed crying because I literally couldn't stop holding/rocking her for more than 30 seconds. I actually started to get up before the kids woke so I could get ready for the day. Everyone would say "don't worry! Stay in your PJ's!" But I can't do that, I never have been able to. I have to get up and get ready for the day. And I have never been one to ask for help. But I definitely needed it the last two weeks. My sister has been brilliant. Coming over after dropping Teddy at school so I can get things done. Needless to say, my house looked like something off of Kim and Aggy for a while there. Alba was given a prescription for lactose free milk on Thursday and since then she has slowly gotten better. She even fell asleep in her Moses basket by herself yesterday afternoon! I had to take a photo and send it to my Mum who is on holiday because I was so excited. Hopefully the stinky lactose free milk is the answer to our troubles!
Needless to say, Jacob has had a lot of TV and iPad time during the last couple of weeks. I have honestly felt like the worst mother in the world to him. All he has heard between Alba's cries is "in a minute". During the odd time that Alba has slept for more than ten minutes, I have done my best to give him all of my attention. Everyone says "he won't remember!" which is fine, but I will. We are slowly getting back into a routine and Alba has started to sleep for longer stretches in the night. Jacob didn't sleep through and had a bottle in the night until he was about 14 months, so I'm seeing it as a bonus if she sleeps through anytime in the next 12 months!

Alba has started smiling which has been lovely! Not very much I might add, but it's crazy how one little gummy smile can make you feel better when you feel like hiding in the bathroom with the door locked! 

A few photos from the last few weeks...

We went fruit picking at a farm near my sisters house, it was so lovely! Definitely recommend it. I had never been which was mortifying to Rich as he used to always go as a kid.

Jacob had his six month oncology checkup at Great Ormond Street last month, he's doing really well and now doesn't have to go back for a year! We still have to go to The Royal London regularly and we are there this Wednesday. Jacob has now been stable for a year which is amazing! Obviously this can change at any time but hopefully not! We got the train for the first time, I thought Jacob would love it, but he clung to Rich and me for dear life. I HATE the tube, I just get so travel sick and hate the millions of people and shoving around. Basically, I'm a wimp. He was a bit braver on the way home and had a little look out of the window. As soon as we got off, he was asking to go back on. Typcal!