Life with two...currently.

I am not going to lie, two kids is hard work. A toddler going through the terrible twos is hard work. A high maintenance, sensitive 7 month old is hard work. Both of them together...well it's really hard. I have a newfound respect for single parents, and anyone with more than two children. It may be the age gap, there is 2 years almost to the day between them. I can already see my hands are only going to get more full. But, I love it. I love the chaos and I love that I have two amazing little characters for children. Obviously there are plenty of days where I want to hide in a cupboard with a straw in a bottle of wine, but then one of them will do something that will remind me that they are just children and everything they do is learning. My sister thinks I am insane and we have totally put her off of having anymore children. I'm always busy. If I could change one thing, it would be that we had a cleaner. The only reason we don't is because I couldn't bear someone picking up after me and I'd feel like I had to clean before they came. Oh, and I refuse to pay someone to do something when there is no reason that I can't do it myself. I just have to learn to manage my time better. I paid someone to professionally clean our oven before Christmas because I just couldn't get it clean, and I begrudged that. Although, it looked amazing after. I didn't want to use it, but Christmas dinner wasn't going to cook itself.

My days are just non stop and I honestly don't think I sit down until well after the kids have gone to bed. Which I'm sure is the case for most parents. 7-10am and 4.30-7.30pm in our house is just chaos. Jacob doesn't like to do anything he's asked at the moment, getting dressed is the top of the list. And Alba isn't the best sleeper, day or night. So she is tired alot. But also refuses to nap for more than about 30 minutes unless we are out and about with the pram. Jacob very rarely naps at all now. I think he's worried he will miss out on something if he sleeps while Alba is awake. He has been very jealous and I think he has found it very hard adjusting to life with a sibling. Alba says "mum mum mum" when she's crying and he says "No, she's my mummy!!!" And if I'm holding her and he wants a cuddle, he won't share me. He says "No, Alba on floor!" It's so hard as I know we have spoiled him with attention and so have most of our family. As much as I say we didn't, we probably overcompensated because of what he was going through.

The walk to nursery is usually a stressful affair. Jacob waddles along like he wants the snails to beat him there or screams most of the way that he wants to go to the shops. Recently, he wanted to ride his scuttlebug to nursery but wanted to go the wrong way, which ended in a full blown tantrum and being 20 minutes late for nursery. The worst part is that when we actually arrive at nursery he runs off and leaves me at the door! He goes to nursery Monday, Tuesday and Friday afternoon. Normally on a Monday, I'll pop into town and do some food shopping or potter around the shops. And then Tuesday I will try and get a few things done in the house but most of the time I end up playing with Alba or fighting to get her to have a nap! Fridays, Rich is usually home from work so I'll take this time to try and get the housework done so the weekend is ours to do what we want.

The nursery run tantrum.

We swapped the kids into the bigger room over the weekend. I was all excited until we'd finished and then it hit me that Alba wasn't in our room anymore. Jacob went into his own room at 3 and a half months old as he used to wake at the tiniest sound and would thrash about in his Moses basket like a caged animal. So with Alba being 8 months old, it's alot later than when Jacob left our room. It's been tough as I can't leave Alba to cry for very long as she would wake Jacob and vice versa. We've had one of them in our bed every night so far. Hopefully they will get used to each other soon. Bedtime is a nightmare as since Jacob gave up his dummy, he will not go to sleep unless someone is sitting with him, and Alba has always needed someone to stand with her otherwise she screams until she is sick and choking. Everyone says about letting her cry it out, but I have tried it with her and it is awful. She is relentless. And I can't bear to see her in such a state. With Jacob, controlled crying was amazing. A life changer. But again, I tried to leave him recently to go to sleep on his own and he got into such a state. And then it occured to me that there will soon be a time when they won't want to be cuddled at all, or have snuggles in our bed. So I decided that the back aches and kid dribble all over me is worth it. And I'll cuddle my little people to sleep if that's what they want. 

Feeling very lucky!

Jacobs cough and cold had cleared up quite a lot by Tuesday evening so I didn't feel the need to cancel his appointment. I was so nervous about today, I hardly slept last night. Partly due to nerves and partly due to Jacob coming into our bed at 2am. What have I done?! I really hope its just where he's been poorly. He normally just slips back into his normal routine otherwise I think I'm going to have to get the controlled crying method on the go again! Which I absolutely hate but it always seems to work! We were up at 5.30am this morning so we could leave around six. We always leave Jacob in bed until the last possible second so he doesn't have a chance to wake up and think "where's my milk?!" But as he was in our bed, his beady little eyes opened up the second Rich and me got out of bed! Typical! He was still very dozy so we managed to get ready while he just laid in bed talking to the dog. For the first time, I got all of Jacobs stuff ready the night before. We normally leave it until the morning because I always liked to do it last so I know if I need anything else. And then we always end up being late because I flaff about. So I made all his lunch, got all his clothes and toys and everything ready to go last night. And it was much less stressful this morning.
It was so strange being back at the hospital after six weeks off, it felt like ages but at the same time, only felt like we were last there yesterday. Its weird because you see the same nurses and doctors and staff every time, you get to know them and they get to know you so I was quite looking forward to seeing everyone. Jacob made himself at home straightaway, throwing his ball around and running about like he owned the place. I could tell he was getting hungry because he started to get ever so slightly more grumpy every time he threw his ball and then had to go get it. And then he spotted his lunch bag under the stroller. Total mummy fail. I normally put it straight into the fridge in the ward kitchen but must have just forgotten. He went MENTAL. Absolutely crazed. Just as I was trying to calm him down and explain (pointlessly) why he couldn't eat, the nurses came in and said they were ready for him in theatre. We have never changed him into his gown and ran out of there to theatre quicker!
He was only gone half an hour again which is always a good sign because with treatment, he's normally about an hour. Again, we tried not to get our hopes up. But when the doctors came round and said he was stable again, I just burst into tears. Rich and me had both gone into today thinking he would need treatment so we couldn't believe it when they said he's still stable. We were allowed to go quite quickly after so were out of there by 11 which I think is a record! We are back in six weeks again. So another long break!

He finally got to wear his UGG boots as it was so cold this morning!

I was way too excited about his sticker!

Going home.

Crazy family selfie.

We went to Pets Corner this week with my friend Sarah which is a little petting zoo/farm near where we live. Jacob loves animals and for the first time I let him run around on his own. Although he was just running around not too interested in anything except the ducks and birds. He is so brave, he was just running at the ducks and geese and chickens like they were nothing. I'm terrified of ducks and geese, especially those ones as they're vicious little things! He was going right up to the chicken coop, at one point I thought he was going in! We had our first "I don't want to get back in my stroller" tantrum, the full arched back, kicking legs kind of tantrum. I did win, eventually. I think it was mostly down to him being tired though!

Jacob loves the "That's not my..." book collection, and I think they're brilliant too. They're touch and feel books and there's so many of them! I've become a bit obsessed with buying him them, and Rich said about my obsession to his friends at work, and he came home on Tuesday with a big pile of them that one of his work friends found at a fête over the weekend! My friend Sarah also bought him 3 new ones too, so he has ended up with about 8 new ones this week. It's lucky he doesn't quite "get" presents yet or I may have a spoilt little boy on my hands. Verruca Salt anyone?! 

I think I may have a problem...

4am is the new 7am.

Oh my gosh, I don't think I've been this tired since Jacob was first born. We've recently decided that afternoon naps are no longer necessary (again) and that its completely normal to get up for the day at 4am. He's just gone down for a nap and it's only 8.30, which is going to ruin his whole day now. Yes, I am a routine drill Sargent. Jacob has always had the same sort of routine so if anything changes, it just messes up his whole day. So the 8.30am nap means he will be an absolute grotbag by around 1pm. And if he skips his afternoon nap again, he will be a total sleep deprived monster by bedtime and then we can do it all over again. We have been very lucky with Jacob going down to bed. From around six weeks old, he had a bath, bottle then bed. At first, he went in his Moses basket in our room and we'd leave him to go off on his own, although for the first few nights, I would sit outside our room or peer round the door until he went to sleep. Then he went into his own room at 3 and a half months as he filled his Moses basket and we wanted him to be used to it before his chemo started as we didn't want an upheaval when he would be feeling rubbish anyway. The times obviously changed as he got older and settled more into a routine with feeding and daily naps and bedtime slowly dropped from 10pm to 7pm which it is now. Although last night he went to bed at 6pm as he was so tired. I wish babies understood when you explained to them that if they slept, they wouldn't feel so pooped. Jacob just looks at me like I'm mad when he's throwing a wobbly and I'm stood there going "well Jacob, if you'd have slept or gotten up at a normal time this would be happening right now would it." I just get another scream as a response.
So right now, with the first bit of quiet I've had since 4.45am, I am torn between having a nap, washing my hair or having a cup of tea (as I couldn't drink the first one I made due to my insane little monster refusing to allow me to sit still.)

...So, I opted for all three, and managed to squeeze them all in! Well I didn't really have a nap, just laid on the bed revelling in the silence. And I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea more in my life. Jacob slept for around two hours, and woke up in a reasonably good mood! We've started going for a walk after his morning nap, just to kill some time really because he normally is quite miserable between his morning nap and lunch. Plus it builds up his appetite a bit! We've had some trouble with him eating since we've been letting him sit at his little table and chairs to eat, he gets up and looses interest quite quickly. He still eats, but just takes a lot longer and then he gets bored. So I think we may go back to the booster seat at the table.
My dad and step mum came over with my little sister this afternoon, and for the first time, I saw Jacob being a bit of a monkey with sharing his toys. My little sister is nearly 3 so she's still learning about sharing too. But Jacob was trying to take everything Katie picked up. And he was not happy when I took it back to Katie. This age is definitely living up to its reputation as "the hard stage." My happy, independent boy has become a miserable clingbot. He woke up from his afternoon nap extremely unhappy and sat on my lap eating his rice cakes through groans and moans. Rich played some ball with him when he got home from work so I could cook dinner, which probably would have proved a mission with Jacob hanging off my leg! I feel like I constantly repeat myself, but I really hope he sleeps better tonight!

We went to Wild & Wacky as usual on Monday and to Jo Jingles. Jacob really enjoyed himself. He climbed around all of the soft play and went up to the slide all by himself which he never normally does. And he stood up and participated in most of Jo Jingles. He was hilarious, just wandering around like he owned the place. 

 The troublesome twosome...

 "Participate" also means "eat the instruments."

 Walking.

 We went to the park on Tuesday to try and burn some energy so Jacob had an afternoon nap. It failed.

 Jacob is obsessed with this tree stump in the woods behind our house. 

Cruising in Jacob's car.

I am arranging a fundraiser for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust as I couldn't make the Carrots Night walk this year, which we did last year and raised an unbelievable £7000! In all honesty, I just totally forgot to sign up this year which is a bummer because I really wanted to do it as it was quite good fun and I met some amazing people last year. So, to ease my guilt for being useless and forgetting, I have decided to throw a children's Halloween Disco. Originally, I was going to just have a Halloween party at home for my friends and their children, but my friend suggested we turn it into a fundraiser. So since last week, I have been planning that! It's quite stressful but people have been so generous with raffle prizes and donations. Its so lovely to know there are people out there who want to help. I'm sure it will be worth all the stress and worry on the day! And I cannot wait to dress Jacob up in some crazy costume!

Food nightmares and fundraising events.

We have had an absolute nightmare with food this week. Jacob hasn't wanted to eat hardly a thing, and he's redecorated our living room almost everyday with the food he's thrown up the walls. He's eaten his toast for breakfast most mornings, then won't touch hardly a thing the rest of the day unless it's a digestive from the biscuit tin or fruit, yoghurt or cucumber. Which is normally a tell tale sign of teething with him. And we've also continued with the horrendous nights and getting him into our bed just to get some sleep. So after checking today, there's a nice big molar on its way through! Hopefully it won't last too long. Why can't every single tooth come at once then it's all done and dusted?! 

We went to Wild & Wacky on Tuesday for the first time in ages, Jo Jingles doesn't run during the school holidays and we've just not ended up going there to be honest. Jo Jingles starts again on Monday so we will back to our weekly trips. It was the first time I'd taken Jacob since he has started walking too and he seemed to enjoy himself much more. A little boy got a bit heavy handed with him and was basically dragging Jacob around by the back of his tshirt and I went into full on crazy protective mum mode. I didn't enjoy it but I think my crazed glare at the little boy did the trick as he didn't go near him again. I know kids mean no harm most of the time but it's so easy to get all crazy lioness when you see your little ones taking a pasting from another kid. I am like it with Teddy too. When I was pregnant, this kid that was about 5 years older than Teddy, who wasn't even 2 at the time, shoved him out of one of those ride ons that every parent tries to avoid outside the supermarket. Teddy literally came out of it backwards and landed on his back. So I got up thinking I was all brave (pregnancy hormones trick you into thinking you're tough. And I am not tough.) and started shouting about how people should be watching their children, only to find the parents were sitting on the table next to me with far too many empty wine glasses on. Awkward. I thought I was going to be killed by a table of tanked up women. Anyways, other than the little boy carrying Jacob around like a ragdoll, it was quite good fun. He slept well in the afternoon! Somehow we are back to two naps a day, but I'm not complaining at the moment because with the sleepless nights, I quite appreciate the extra break.

Finally climbing things at Wild & Wacky.

Jacob is slowly starting to fit into some of his 9-12 months clothing. I love this outfit. The tshirt is from Next, the joggers are H&M, his bibble is from It's A Bibble and his trainers are Converse.

We were asked by CHECT if we would go to a fundraising event on Friday. It was to meet a group of 32 cyclists that are doing the Ride4Sight in order to raise money for The Childhood Eye Cancer Trust. Its a 150 mile bike ride from Stratford to Nottingham over two days. CHECT have done so much for us, so we were more than happy to go and talk to people and thank the cyclists for what they're doing for the charity. So far they've raised over £25k which is unbelievable. We met a few other families which was lovely as it is always nice to talk to other people going through what we are. The hotel where the meeting was was lovely. We had tea and cake and everyone knows I love some free food. We met Darren Harris who had Rb as a child and has been left with almost no sight at all and he is now a paralympian, playing football for Great Britain. Meeting him was such a pleasure and he is such an inspiration. It really made me see that Jacob will still be able to do almost anything he wants to. Jacob was a bit overwhelmed by all the new faces and everyone chatting to him but he did really well. We hadn't planned anything for dinner as we thought we'd just grab something on the way home, but not all the cyclists arrived at once and we didn't want to seem rude and leave but the charity arranged for the hotel to cook Jacob some dinner which was so kind of them. I was quite apprehensive about going to the event as I get so emotional at things like that but I am so glad we went. It was a really lovely afternoon and Jacob had a fab time running around like he owned the place! 

Strolling around like he owns the place.

Rocking his oversized CHECT tshirt.

Some of the cyclists arriving.

 Picnic! 

Jacob the eye removal expert.

The title says it all really. Jacob has become a pro at removing his eye. He's learnt that he can stick his finger in it and it doesn't hurt. Which is officially a nightmare. The best one so far was when we were at Lakeside Shopping Centre and people were looking at him a bit peculiar, and as a lot of people don't notice his eye unless we tell them, I knew he'd done something. So when I looked into the stroller, of course he'd gotten it out. He is so good when he has it taken out now, he just sits there so I just put it back there and then in the middle of the shopping centre. I can do it without Rich having to hold him still which has made me much less worried about him getting it out when Rich isn't home now. 

I'm sure it's the start of what will be some interesting stories to tell when he's older.

We haven't been to a big shopping centre like Lakeside since Jacob has been able to walk and gotten so demanding! He was really good and was quite happy to sit in his stroller. We did let him loose in the Disney store which was quite funny. He went straight for the Jake and the Neverland Pirates toys then became quite attached to a Minnie Mouse hoover. He went absolutely nuts when it was time to put it back and to leave the shop. Full blown tantrum central. We are really trying hard to ignore them because we have noticed that he checks if we are looking at him mid-tantrum. I think he must be getting to that extra clever, button pushing, what can I get away with phase. 

We had dinner in Wimpy just because it was easiest, and Rich is absolutely obsessed with Wimpy. I cannot remember the last time I had one, and I didn't really rate it to be honest. Jacob didn't seem like much of a fan either as most of his dinner ended up on the floor. The waitresses didn't seem to mind though as he gave them his "butter wouldn't melt" face. Definitely getting smart!

Jacob had a lunchdate with my friend Francesca's little boy Roman this week. They spent the day waffling away to each other in baby language while we sat catching up on grown up stuff. (Gossiping and moaning about being tired!)

Wimpy!

We had a wedding to go to on Sunday in Oxford and it's the first time I would ever be leaving Jacob for such a long period of time and being so far away. I have been so nervous about it, so much that I really considered not going. And since he's been able to remove his eye, it's really made me realise that he is a bit different to other children, and it isn't a case of someone just babysitting.  They need to know what to do if he moves or takes out his eye. If it gets lost, what one do they put in. So it does make me really nervous. Jacob spent the afternoon with my mum and stepdad, which he's never done before so I was a bit worried about if he'd behave. But mum said he was really good and she really enjoyed it. Although she was absolutely knackered afterwards. Then Soph had him for dinner and bedtime. She stayed at our house with him until we got home as we thought it would probably be best as he's never stayed away from us so may not have settled. We are going to try him staying out the night but only when we are round the corner. We had a really lovely time at the wedding, and it was really nice to go out just Rich and me as we still haven't really had a night out just us two. We got home at 2am and Jacob was awake at 4! I didn't really drink because I knew I'd be up early with Jacob. I was naughty and brought him into our bed at four, he went back to sleep until six but then it was party time. I've been at total zombie all day today. We had a little play date today with Jonah and Eva. Now Jacob's walking, it's so much funnier to watch them all together. Although, towards the end of the day, Jacob started to hit Jonah and kept laughing when told "no." I have no idea where he has learnt this from, I'm hoping it's a phase and that he doesn't realise that what he is doing isn't very nice. I know he is being very testing at the moment and trying to see what he can get away with, so we are trying to set boundaries. We are trying the distraction technique at the moment and just moving him away from the situation or whatever he may be doing that he shouldn't be. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Just us two. It was so strange to spend the whole day without Jacob. I love getting dressed up to go out, but my god, I hate wearing loads of make up! I couldn't wait to get home and scrub my face. A true sign of motherhood I'm told!

September is global Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, it is so important for people to know the signs of childhood cancer. I didn't and if I had, Jacob may not have lost his eye. So if you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you can expect lots of statuses and pictures so please share them if you can! 

One year later...

Today marks a year since Jacob had his eye removed. It was only our second time at The Royal London Hospital but definitely the scariest so far. Because Jacob was having an actual operation, it meant he was last on the morning list so wouldn't be going down to theatre until around 11am. Mr Reddy, the Rb consultant came to see us in the morning and explained what would happen, then they drew a smiley face over Jacobs right eye so they knew which one would be being removed. The smiley face was a bit ironic really because nothing about the day was worth smiling about. I had absolutely dreaded this since the week before when they told us it would be happening, I was convinced that it would be a different baby coming back and I just felt that it was my fault and I hadn't made him right. Like I'd made a faulty baby. I was so scared about how he'd look, which is awful, but I was so worried about what other people would say and the fact that he is too young to defend himself. I just didn't want him to feel any different to any other children as he grew up. When Jacob went down to theatre, after leaving him there, I felt this huge sense of relief come over me, it was so strange, but it was like I'd realised that a huge bit of the cancer would be gone. The nurses told us he would be gone a good hour and a half so we went down to the restaurant, which is where my crumble obsession started. The wait felt like forever, we sat in our room for what felt like hours. When they called for him to be collected from recovery, I was so scared. I just didn't know what to expect. He was really dosed up on morphine so wasn't awake, and they wheeled him round on a recovery bed. He looked so tiny laying on there. The bandage covered his whole right eye. It was huge. They took us to the ward upstairs as we were staying overnight, our first of many overnight stays! Jacob was so out of it all night, my mum popped to see us in the evening and just started crying as soon as she saw him. I don't think anybody was quite prepared for how big this operation really was. And he was so tiny at the time, it was quite scary. I slept in the cot with him all night, which was not comfortable but I didn't want to leave his side. He just held my finger all night and every few hours the nurses would come in and top up his pain relief. Rich wasn't supposed to stay, but the nurses didn't say anything so he camped out on a chair and stayed all night. The next morning Jacob was more with it, and when he woke up properly and looked straight at us, it was priceless. He'd never really looked at us before and looking back through photos from before his op, he was never ever looking at the camera. It was really amazing to finally have him see us properly. The doctors said we probably would have been out of focus before and he could never really fix on anything so I can't imagine how it must have felt for him too. 

We went down for breakfast, which was such a disaster, to begin with one of the chefs gasped at Jacob and his huge bandage and said "Oh what's happened to him!? Is he okay!?" I just looked straight at him and said "he's had his eye removed." He looked really uncomfortable and walked away. The first of many of these situations! Then after we sat down for breakfast, I went to shake up my orange juice, forgetting that I'd already taken the lid off. It was absolutely mortifying. I was covered head to toe in fresh orange juice, WITH BITS! Rich thought it was fantastic. Me, I was wearing a brand new white tshirt, I hadn't bought my shampoo and conditioner with me, let alone a hairbrush and I just wanted to cry. The walk back to our ward from the restaurant wasn't exactly a short one either. To say I got a few funny looks would be an understatement. 

All of my family came to see us that morning and my stepdad and mum was driving us home so everyone thought they'd just come up and wait as we were supposed to be going home at two after Jacob had his dressing removed. Laura and Tara, two of Jacobs nurses came round about midday to remove his dressing. I didn't want to look, I was expecting this big, swollen bruised mess where his eye used to be. But it wasn't too bad at all. The nurses said it actually looked really good compared to how some kids have looked after. Mr Reddy then checked to ensure that it was all as it should be, and then we were allowed home. We got sent home with Jacobs eye kit and a course of antibiotics which were a nightmare to get him to take. It was this bright pink, sticky as hell stuff that had to be kept in the fridge. His eye seemed to heal up quite quickly, it didn't look half as bad as I thought it would, and to be honest, any worries I had about how he'd look were totally wiped out by the fact that he could see. And everytime he looked at us, it was just so amazing that nothing else mattered. Now, the beady eyed little monster doesn't miss a thing!  

Jacob and his ironic smiley face. And the bear my mum had made for him for his operation, it's made of some of his first sleepsuits!

Back from the op, he is so tiny here.

A priceless moment.

Just after the dressing was removed. 

We are still struggling with sleep at the moment, we've managed to drop Jacobs second nap and put him to bed at 7pm but the last few mornings he's been waking again between 4 and 5 and not settling off unless he's in our bed. I'm really hoping it's just a phase and this nap transition is behind it. He has his ony nap from around 11-11.30 until around 1pm, then has lunch. But I'm hoping to push the nap back to more like 12.30pm so he can have lunch then go for a sleep, and that's more in the middle of his day too. I've read that if they're going through a developmental growth spurt, it can disrupt their sleep patterns. I'm not sure how true it is but this week Jacob has learnt how to build his stacking cups. We help a tiny bit, but he manages to put them all on and mostly in the right order! I was so pleased with this, because I was a little bit worried about how his hand eye coordination will develop with just the one eye, but I don't think there's any problem at all. Well I hope not! 

Smartie pants.

Check out the bed head!

We braved the rain again on Tuesday morning and went for a walk in the woods by our house. I didn't take Jacobs stroller and just let him walk, he picks up EVERYTHING! He has a particular obsession with pine cones. He was covered in mud by the time we got home so everything had to go in the wash. I don't mind a bit of dirt to be honest, as long as it can be washed, get muddy. We went again yesterday too, but to feed the ducks this time. He just loves being outside. On Monday when it absolutely chucked it down all day, he stood at the back door crying because he couldn't go outside. I think we are going to need to find a new hobby before the winter hits! 

My little adventurer...

Collecting whatever he can find.

Buds. 

The gruesome twosome on our way home from feeding the ducks. 

Monday movie day.

Jacob slept reasonably well last night, I tried the rousing him a few hours after he went to sleep as my friend Kayleigh said it can sometimes do the trick. So I tried at around 11pm, but there was no waking the little monster! He stirred a little bit but thought I'd just leave it at that as to be honest, I was petrified of him waking up and doing his 3am screaming session there and then. He woke up quite a few times after around 3.30am, but none of the screaming like usual. He woke up for the day around 6.30 which is earlier than when he's in our bed, but I'll take it if he is in his bed! We battled the naps in full force today, Jacob started to get grumpy at around 10am as usual, but we really wanted him to just hang it out until after lunch because as he is only having one nap, I don't want it to be too early! We decided to go for a rainy walk with the dog as he has never fallen asleep in his new stroller so I thought that and being outside would keep him entertained until lunch. How wrong was I... He fell asleep in his stroller. At 11.45! All I needed was another 45 minutes so he'd eaten lunch. Typical! I tried to wake him up but he wasn't having it so moved him into his cot. He slept until 1.30pm which actually worked out quite well because it was still kind of lunchtime, although he woke up so so grumpy where he was starving! We normally have lunch around 12-12.30 and he didn't have a morning snack so he must have been ravenous! 

A bit of a rubbish picture, but couldn't resist a little selfie on our walk. 

Nap battle fail.

As the bank holiday was such a wash out, as always in England, we had a total movie day. After a supermarket trip in which we let Jacob walk around for the first time, he went straight for the balls down the toy aisle, we spent the afternoon watching The Little Mermaid, Beauty & The Beast, Casper and The Lion King. And then before bed, we watched the vlog I follow on YouTube called The SacconeJolys. I absolutely love it, it's just a little daily vlog of an Irish family and their lives. They kind of gave me the idea to start this too. Check them out here if your a bit of a reality fiend. 

Jacob wore real skinny jeans today for the first time! He looks so grown up. He's wearing all Next today. Their clothes are definitely my favourite for Jacob. 

Jacobs gone to bed quite well at 7pm, so fingers crossed for a good night! Hope you've all had a great weekend, although I think most people have spent it getting soaked in icy water! 

More tantrums & Ice bucket challenges.

It's been a tiring couple of nights since Friday. We are still battling the transition from two to one nap and it's so hard! On Friday night, Jacob spent an hour screaming the house down at 2am before I gave in and brought him into our bed. He slept til 8.15 which was lovely, but it would have been much nicer if he was in his own bed! It was really nice for us all to wake up together and just relax in bed for a while, we don't normally get to do it because it's either too early so I come downstairs with Jacob, or we have somewhere to be. If it's a morning where we haven't got to be somewhere, I will normally bring Jacob into our room from his and we will watch tv and all have our cup of tea in bed, but it is so rare that this happens! Because Jacob woke up at 8.15, I thought he would skip his morning nap and have just the one after lunch, but bang on 10am, he wanted his morning nap. He slept for about half an hour, which seemed to be enough for the rest of the day, because despite extreme tantrums and crying and hanging off of me everywhere I went, the little boy did not want to sleep! We tried to put him down in his cot a few times after seeing the "tired" signs. This is normally the crankiness and he gets very whingey, and starts tugging at his ears and poking his artificial eye (which is just lovely.) We needed to pop out, and low and behold, Jacob fell asleep in the car at 5pm. I try really hard not to let him sleep past 4pm otherwise he is an absolute nightmare to get to bed because he's like a supercharged Duracell bunny if he sleeps past then. He had about 20 minutes in the car so was not a happy bunny when we woke him up for dinner. He's started to go to bed at 7pm too as his daytime sleeping has gone up the wall, and last night he just wasn't having any of it. He absolutely screamed the house down for an hour, it was so hard not to go up and sit with him, but we've done controlled crying with him before and it does work for us. So every ten minutes or so, I was going in, laying him back down and leaving again. My dad was visiting and after about five attempts he was like "it's a tantrum! He knows you'll go up, so just leave him!" I really hate it because he does get himself into such a state. I left it 15 minutes, and he went quiet, then five minutes later he was asleep. A crazy part of me thought that he'd sleep through as he'd wiped himself out throught his tantrum. But nope, 3am this morning and he was off again. I refused to give in this time as it would have been the 5th night this week he came into our bed. After 45 minutes of screaming and launching dummies across the hallway, I just stood next to his cot and he fell asleep. Probably another bad habit to get into, but one step at a time! He slept through until 7.15, so I can cope with that for today. My friend said it could be night terrors, as she had the same troubles with her little girl around this age. She said if you rouse them slightly around two hours after they go to sleep, it disturbs the sleep and therefore disturbs the pattern. So we are going to try that tonight! 

Jacob hasn't stopped toddling around now and everyone said how much harder it becomes once they're walking. But to be honest, I haven't found it much different, he is such a bulldozer anyway and climbs absolutely everything so I've had to have eyes in the back of my head for about 8 months now! The trouble now is that he actually wants to walk EVERYWHERE. In the supermarket, to the car, and if the front door opens, he's up on his feet and running for it! The neighbours must think I'm awful to live with because when I pick him up and close the door, the screams are like somebody is being murdered. We at currently battling the word "no." Jacob thinks it's the funniest word in the world because when I point and say "noooooo" in that voice that every parent seems to say it in, he just laughs at me. And then I laugh because I can't get over how cheeky he is. So it's going to be a tough one I think. Any tips!?

My little climber.

I could watch these two playing together for hours.

I did the "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge" tonight after being nominated by my sister. I think these things are such a brilliant idea, as long as people actually donate. I hated the "no make-up selfie" campaign to begin with as a lot of people were just using it as an excuse to post a picture and get likes, and not actually donate. After Cancer Research got onto it and people started donating, it was brilliant. So with the ALS challenge, I am all for it if people are donating, although watching people soak themselves with ice cold water is brilliant in itself. I did two buckets as I wanted to donate to CHECT too. They are such an amazing charity and I know it sounds silly, but I felt like I was cheating on them! Haha. Below is the video of me getting a soaking! It was SO cold. 

Good luck to anyone who gets nominated, and please make sure you donate! 

Cousins and heatwaves.

After the amazing news on Wednesday, I woke up still smiling Thursday morning. I work Thursdays for a few hours every week. Just so I have some grown up time really. I absolutely hate leaving Jacob, even if it is only for 4 hours. I just love being at home with him. I dread going into work. Once I'm there, I'm fine. There's still a few of the team that were there before I went on mat leave, and it's like old times when I work with them so I feel like me again for a little while. Not mummy Char. Getting out the door for work is always chaos, no matter what time I start. I have always been a bit of a flapper and need to pee ten million times before I leave the house. My mum said when I was a kid, if the house was on fire she's sure I would have to pee before getting out. I like to make sure everything is sorted for Jacob for the day, no matter who is looking after him. It's normally Rich but now and again my sister Sophie will have him. She's got my nephew, Teddy who's 3 so I really love it when she has him because it's more kid time for Jacob. They're hilarious together. We are currently battling "learning to share." When we found out we were having a boy, my brother in law Ross was so excited for Teddy to be getting a little boy cousin. So they'd grow up more like friends. There's 2 years and 2 days between them. We all lived in fear around Teddy's birthday party that I was going to go into labour, but he held off for 3 days. Luckily! I don't think Sophie would have let me live it down if I'd had him on Teddys birthday! We were all a bit nervous when Teddy was to meet Jacob as he had always had all of my attention, and to be honest, I did love to spoil him. I'd get in trouble all the time for buying him presents. It's obviously slowed down since Jacob was born as maternity leave didn't pay quite as well as full time work! Teddy looked so confused when he came to meet Jacob in hospital. And I think it was a little bit tough for him to have to "share" me. But because Jacob is now interacting more, Teddy enjoys him so much. We can leave them to play together now. He really looks after him and I absolutely love it. He knows about Jacobs eye too. We didn't really teach him, but it shows how much kids take in. He used to say "Jacob's eye poorly." And point to him. And if I show him one of Jacobs artificial eyes and ask him what it is, he goes "Jacobs eye!" And then puts it over his own eye. Which he finds absolutely hilarious. I'm really glad they've got each other growing up. And because we see each other so often, they'll probably be more like brothers, causing havoc as little rogue teenagers!!! I'm sure I'll have parents knocking at the door when they're a bit older telling me they've done something or another. I really hope that doesn't happen though!

Teddy & Jacob, Day 5. 💙

Yes, we dress them in matching outfits!

Feeding the duckies. 

Like most parents, I absolutely dread it being this hot. I love it but it just makes normally happy babies turn into miserable, sleepy little bags of grumpiness. And sleep normally goes out the window. It was nearly 35 degrees where we live yesterday. And it was so uncomfortable. Even for a heat fiend like me. I had everything out in the garden, paddling pool, water table, tunnels, slides, the lot. Half of my garden stays shaded for most of the day so Jacob can still enjoy being outside. I'm a bit obsessive with the sun cream though, reapplying his factor 50 every half an hour. Which was a massive fail as it made his eczema flare up like crazy. Excellent parenting choice! Although I'd rather he wasn't at risk of getting burnt. Jacob wasn't too bad in the heat yesterday, although he has a massive fear of his paddling pool. Which is weird as he absolutely loves the bath! Towards the end of the day, the water in his water table was so warm, I turned round to find him trying to climb into it. The kid obviously needs a hot tub! 

I don't know about anyone else, but eating seems to go out the window when it's this hot too. He is normally a brilliant eater, but yesterday it seemed food was not his friend. The only thing he seemed to really want was these "Suckies" yoghurt pouches. I think he ate about 4 by the end of the day! Everything else he fed to the dog. Naturally, I dreaded bedtime. His room was nearly 30 degrees (thanks Gro-Egg!) and he's a very warm baby anyway. Someone said the best thing is a cool bath before bed and put him to bed in just a nappy. So I did this, expecting an extreme kick up once he was in the cot. But no, straight to sleep he went. Thinking it was too good to be true, I clock watched for about 3 hours, no wake ups. He slept through until 5.30am! Could not believe it. He rarely sleeps through anyway, so I really expected a bad night with the heat. Saturday is my lay in day too, Rich gets up with him on a Saturday morning, so today I feel much more refreshed than normal. So I recommend a cool bath, just a nappy and clock watching on a night like last night! Seems to do the trick. (I'm sure I won't be saying this tomorrow morning because it was actually just a coincidence!) It is still so muggy today but I'm hoping Jacob isn't too much of a grump today. He is napping at the moment and after last nights storm, the garden is soaked so it looks like a Frozen marathon is happening today. Again. 

 Homemade hot tub.

Have a good weekend!