Bump update: We are having a...

GIRL!!!

We had our anomaly scan last week which we had always planned on finding out the sex at. And we are having a baby girl! And I am petrified! What am I going to do with a girl?! I know boys! Haha. I am so excited. And also panicking because now I really have to get realistic with all the boys stuff I can't bear to part with! We definitely need some more storage space! 

I hadn't bought a single thing for this baby yet as I have been so nervous that something would be wrong. So I wanted to wait until this scan to really get excited. I have been excited to an extent but in all honesty, a part of me has been in denial a little bit because I just felt so uneasy that there would be a problem. But our scan showed everything was growing and developing as it should be. So now I can relax a bit more! We had a scan at sixteen weeks too as I'd had quite a lot of pain and the doctor said she thought it was a girl, but I didn't take it for anything as it was still only just 16 weeks. And to be honest, I thought we'd have another boy! My mum was obviously over the moon as she now has a little girl in the family. And she can go Disney Princess mad.
I started having a little look at clothes. Obviously. And it is a little bit overwhelming! There is so much more choice for girls! Jacob has lots of the same sort of thing in a few different colours. But girls, my gosh, they can have dresses, skirts, shorts, leggings, jeans, everything!!! I've never been a fan of newborns in "real" clothes. Like jeans etc. I think it makes them look so grown up so quickly. Jacob didn't wear his first pair of jeans until he was about 11 months! And even then, I begrudgingly pulled them on his tiny little legs. Everyone is different obviously and that's just me!
I'm just glad everything is okay and hopefully now I can enjoy being pregnant! 

With the news that we are having a girl. I went through all of Jacobs old stuff (again). So, I sat on our bed, amongst an obscene pile of clothes, and cried. He had so much lovely stuff and I am genuinely heartbroken that it won't get worn again. And some of it was so small!!! I kept sending Rich pictures of things. He obviously thought I was insane and just told me to pack it all away and keep it all. I managed to pull a small pile of stuff for the little lady to use, such as the Little Bird range by Jools Oliver. I'm obsessed with it. And most of the basics are unisex so I was sitting there planning outfits with those pieces. I also made a memory blanket pile, which was ridiculously huge. And then I actually made a charity donation bag. And the rest...well its back in storage because I officially cannot part with it yet. I don't want it to go to a stranger, so I decided to wait and see if any of my friends have boys. And they can have it. Maybe. I am aware that most people think I'm nuts for keeping it all, but I just can't do it!

I picked up a few things yesterday for the little lady. Just some vests and sleepsuits, but honestly, I could have spent hundreds of pounds. Especially in Next. It is so lovely. But I'm trying to be a bit more realistic this time as going through Jacobs stuff showed me that he had way too much and literally only wore everything once, if that!

I've finally got my appetite back, and in a big way. All I want to do is eat! Its just deciding what I want that's the trouble, because I don't fancy anything in particular, I just want food. I'm probably going to end up a ginormous whale by the end of this pregnancy!

Jacob picked up another cold this week, so Rich has been sleeping downstairs and Jacob in our bed for the last two nights as for some reason, toddlers like to sleep longways in the bed! He slept much better last night though which was nice as I was starting to feel hideous from the lack of sleep! Although I'm going to start calling it sleep training. Its probably a good thing Jacob has never been a brilliant sleeper with a second baby on the way! I never got to go back to a full nights sleep so hopefully it won't be so much of a shock when she arrives! (Yeah right!)

Lady Wright.

Getting organised.

Whether its the post Christmas clear out, or I'm nesting rather early, I have gone nuts with clearing out and organising...EVERYTHING. I started with Jacobs toy box in the living room on Friday, he hardly plays with any of his toys that are downstairs except his little ride on car which cost about £10 and we only got it because we had a few pounds of leftover Argos vouchers, turns out to be one of his favourites. He is also still obsessed with his stacking cups and Hes got a Little Tikes car transporter thing that he loves too. Other than that, everything else gets ignored. So I was just brutal and put it all upstairs. However, what I didn't think about is where to put it all in Jacob's room. And its made me panic about where all the new baby's stuff is going to go. Which led to me clearing out the storage cupboard in our room...which also contains mostly Jacobs stuff. How the hell do people get rid of their first babys clothes?! I have 3 of those huge storage bags, filled with Jacobs clothes from newborn up until now that I just can't part with. And I've sorted through it all about a hundred times, trying to be more realistic each time. I even ended putting stuff from the charity donation bag I'd made up, back into the "keep" piles! We have our sexing/anomaly scan on Tuesday, and if we are cooking up a girl this time, I really don't know what I'm going to do with all this stuff. I looked at those memory quilts, as Jacob has a pillow and bear made of some of his first sleepsuits, but I think this quilt would probably cover most of the town.
I'm not sure if I'm having trouble parting with them as they were all "chemo" sleep suits, or "operation" sleepsuits and they hold a little bit more of a memory than they normally would? But frankly, I either need to get realistic, or hire a storage locker. Or get a bigger house, but who can afford a bigger house these days!

This then led to me organising my kitchen cupboards...basically, I'm certain I have a Tupperware issue. I have so many tubs and lunch boxes and snack boxes that you would think I was saving them up to build that bigger house. For weeks, every time I open the cupboard above the sink, it rained Tupperware. And then I'd launch it all back in and quickly shut the cupboard door. But no more! Organised heaven. I'm that pleased, I'd show you a photo, but I'm pretty sure you don't care less!

In between all the organising, we finally managed to go for a walk somewhere other than the woods by our house. Jacob is such an outdoors kid, and I do like being outside, just not when its freezing!!! He would stay out there forever though I think. Just Jacob and me went with my mum as she lives right next to the park. And we took her lunatic Jack Russell, Archie. Who will attack you if you pick up a stick and hold it for more than 3 seconds before launching it as far as possible. The walk paired with the fresh air absolutely wiped Jacob out, so getting from 3pm to bedtime at 7pm was a struggle. And at 6.45pm, Jacob seemed to get a second wind of energy...so bedtime was more like 8pm! He woke up extremely hungry again after not eating dinner, again. Although, he ate a whole bowl of porridge, banana, strawberries and a yogurt at breakfast this morning so that is an improvement!!! Fingers crossed it stays this way and he's getting his appetite back.

We've been busy!

Again, it's been ages since I posted. Jacob has become a crazed, little tantrum throwing toddler and that with Christmas and new year has just been chaos. The week before Christmas just flew by, and I started writing about 3 blog posts and never got round to finishing them.

Christmas was lovely, it was really nice not to cook this year as I have the last couple. Jacob still didn't really get Christmas and presents, he loved his toys we got him and everything he got from everyone else, but to an eighteen month old, it doesn't have quite the same effect as it does on a four or five year old. I cannot wait until he's up screaming that Santa has been in a few years time. That's when it gets more expensive though I hear, as they know what they want, and its usually everything!
I have to admit, I was quite moody Christmas day. All I wanted to do was eat pâté and brie and drink prosecco. And was fed up that I couldn't. Obviously, I'm glad to be pregnant and so excited, but I also love my food. And pâté is definitely a favourite of mine. Chicken liver to be specific, and that's a no no. So I stuck to plain old cheddar and some Boursin. Which I googled to check I was actually allowed it!!

Jacob had a check up at the Royal London Hospital this week, and I woke up Wednesday morning with a really bad feeling. I said to Rich "I don't think it's going to be good today." Taking Jacob down to theatre was chaos, he screamed the whole way as he must now remember what's going to happen. And then he buried his head in my neck when the doctors were trying to put his mask on so he could go to sleep. He really fought it this time, and I cried for the first time in ages walking back round to his bed. It may well have been pregnancy hormones, but I was so fed up of having to put him through this so regularly. He came back round quite quickly from theatre and unlike last time, he was not happy. He was so hungry, he practically inhaled his banana and started to choke. And by choke, I mean full on silent choking that felt like it lasted forever. Rich managed to give him a good pat on the back while he was tipped over his arm and he coughed it up. I was literally seconds away from screaming into the ward. Which would have terrified everybody. The first aid course we went to while I was pregnant came in handy. I realised how utterly useless I would probably be if I was on my own, and that's a little bit scary! I'm sure mothers instinct would kick in, but I definitely panicked a lot more than I'd have liked.
Mr Sagoo came round not long after and told us Jacob was still stable, which was brilliant as the day had gone so horribly so far, I thought there's no way its good news! We are back in nine weeks, which is the middle of March.

Elsewhere, Jacob has become a crazed One Direction fan. He absolutely loves them. It's become our calm down tool. If he is going nuts, we just switch them on and he's dancing away. I don't mind, as I secretly like them and I think Rich has had no choice but to become a fan either!
Jacob has had four teeth start coming over the last few weeks. And with it, he has become a very fussy eater. I don't know if its tied into the teething for sure as a few of my friends are having the same problem, but he will pick at everything. He hasn't eaten a full meal in about two weeks now. And this morning he was awake at 4.45am hungry! And even then, the only thing he would eat was half a brioche and a banana. After having a brilliant eater, it is really tough when they get fussy! I have tried everything. And he isn't at the "if you don't eat, you go hungry" stage yet so I am literally trying about 4 options every evening with dinner. A few people have told me not to do this as it can make it worse and then they get clever about it. So I think I may have to take a different approach! Any tips?!

Christmas crafting!!

Jacob is finally getting over the hand, foot and mouth, cold and cough he's suffered with the last two weeks. However, those evil little teeth are cutting their way through so I'm expecting some bad nights soon! He has actually been sleeping so well since getting better. I've not had to get up to him once in the night which has been lovely. He's woke up a little bit whingey a few times but settled back off on his own. However, the better sleep has come with earlier starts. He is up around 6.30 most mornings now. Which would be fine if it wasn't so dark and cold out!!! I still don't know how to set our heating up so it comes on with the timer so it is absolutely freezing when we get up in the mornings.

We went to Van Hages garden centre last Wednesday to see Santa, I booked it a little while ago and Jacob didn't seem so poorly that morning so thought we'd still go as we went last year and it was lovely. However, I think it was a little bit too soon to have taken him out as he was not in the mood at all. He absolutely screamed the place down and wasn't interested in Santa, the lights or the presents. We took him for a little walk around the animals after which he obviously loved, but he must have felt rough because he crashed out the second we pulled out of the carpark. Hopefully next year!!

We've been meaning to make Christmas cards and ornaments for the family for nearly two weeks but just haven't got round to it. So yesterday, Rich was home so I got him to help me with the "Christmas tree feet" cards I wanted to make. Jacob wasn't very cooperative, so we had to rush them, but they seem to have come out okay. They're literally a green foot print upside down. Then you draw on the lights or baubles with the good trusty Sharpie pens. Just FYI, I'm obsessed with a Sharpie. I don't know why, I just love them. We also made some snowmen cards today as we needed a few more, and it's the same idea, an upside down foot print, then draw on the face, scarf and buttons etc.

I'd also seen a salt dough recipe that I've wanted to do for ages so we gave that a try today. It was so easy, literally a cup of salt, a cup of plain flour and it says half a cup of water, but I found this a bit too much so had to add more flour. But just add water bit by bit until you get a play-doh like dough. I literally rolled it out, cut out circles and Jacob pressed his hand (I forced him to push his hand, he didn't want to play) into the dough. Then used a straw to make a small hole in the top for string or ribbon to go through. Then bake at 100 Celsius for 3 hours. They came out pretty good. We painted the red then put gold glitter on them, and wrote a little message on them. I can't wait to give them out to family members. And we've obviously kept one for our tree. Hopefully I'll remember to do them every year!

It was my birthday on Sunday, but lucky for me I had a nice headache and spent most of the day in bed! We had family over for takeaway in the evening as Rich was determined I actually did something on the day. I'm so boring, birthdays aren't that big a deal to me, my birthday anyway. And because its so close to Christmas, I'm usually more excited about that. All I cared about was getting a card from Jacob. Rich had him "write" inside himself. Which was a lovely felt pen masterpiece! I also got a really lovely charm for my Pandora bracelet. I'd had my eye on it for ages but didn't think it was appropriate to buy it for myself so I'm glad Jacob (Rich) got it for me!

Jacobs Routine.

Can you tell we are stuck at home?
Jacob is currently sleeping like a trooper, catching up on the last weeks worth of lost sleep I think! He has been asleep nearly four hours and I've actually found myself bored. This never happens. This post obviously doesn't apply to today/this week or even when he's poorly at all but I always love hearing about other babies and toddlers routines and have found it so helpful having so many friends who've all had little ones around the same time as we had Jacob. Every child is obviously different but this is Jacobs normal day to day routine.

 

6.30-7.30am is wake up time in our house. If we are really lucky, Jacob will sometimes sleep until nearly 8. If its closer to 7.30, I'll bring Jacob into our room and let him wake Rich up for work, otherwise its down stairs for some Disney Junior or CBeebies.

8am Jacob normally wakes up pretty hungry so I get breakfast ready quite quickly. He normally has cheerios and some kind of fruit, normally blueberries or a banana, and has milk to drink.

9/9.30am We get ready for the day normally and I try to get Jacob to drink some fresh orange to keeps his bowels on the go! (Sorry if TMI!)

10am If we are doing anything before lunch such as a bit of shopping, this is normally the time we will do this as its just before his nap. Otherwise Jacob will normally potter around and entertain himself while I do a few things around the house (which I'll admit has been rare since becoming pregnant, although the last two weeks I've gotten a bit more motivated!) Jacob will normally have a little snack around now too, just maybe a rusk which he still loves or some of the Heinz Biscotti.

11.30am This is usually nap time. Since Jacob dropped to one nap, we've found that going around this time normally works best as he has quite unsettled nights a lot so can be quite flaked by this time. He normally naps for 1 and a half to 2 hours. Recently, I've been using this time to get a few things done if I've been lazy or had a clingy monster in the morning, and sometimes have a sneaky little snooze myself although since the morning (all day) sickness stopped, I've not been so desperate for it as usual so will just normally sit and revel in the quiet.

1-1.30pm Lunchtime! Sometimes Jacob can wake up absolutely ravenous and screams the place down so recently I've started to try and have his lunch ready.  He'll normally have a sandwich of some kind, bagel or pasta. Crisps or those mini organix rice cakes or their carrot puffs, although I'm horrible and don't let him have "real" crisps everyday. If we've gotten a food shop in too (which we are terrible at, daily trips to tesco in this house!) Jacob will normally have cucumber and cherry tomatoes too and always some kind of fruit. And he usually finishes off with a yogurt.

2.30pm This is normally when I try to do some sort of activity with Jacob, normally a walk or wrapping up and playing in the garden. Although the weather is making this more difficult of late so I stocked up on some crafty bits. He's gotten into painting and stuff and if he wakes up in a good mood, I'm planning on making Christmas cards this afternoon. But we will see!!

5.30pm Dinnertime. We do try to all eat together as a family, obviously this isn't always possible but try we do! Jacob normally eats what we eat but on the days when we are having a later dinner or something not very Jakey friendly, the Annabelle Karmel or the Little Dish toddler meals are nice and quick and he always eats every last bite. I normally have left overs in the freezer but always forget about them and they end up getting chucked in the bin. Last week I threw away six separate dinners that I'd frozen. Jacob will normally have a yoghurt or something naughty like a little cake or chocolate biscuit for pudding. He drinks water or really weak squash throughout the day. Rich banned fruit shoots as he read an article about them having some ingredient in them thats proven to make kids naughty. I'm pretty sure that's the sugar!

6.30pm Bath time, although Jacob normally only has a bath every other day as his skin is so sensitive and dries out really easily! We normally do the bedtime routine together as Rich wouldn't have seen Jacob much if its a weekday and to be honest, he's such a terror it takes two of us to chase him round and get him into his PJ's!

7pm Bedtime. Jacob picks about 700 books to read and then we read the same one about four times before he goes into his cot. He usually settles off quite well. He does still wake up a fair few times a night, normally crying because he can't find his dummy. But usually stays in his cot until the morning and we start the whole routine again!

Obviously this isn't always the case, if we have a play date or Jo Jingles, it normally gets wiggled around a bit. But I am known as a bit of a routine drill sergeant to my family when it comes to Jacob. It will probably bite me in the backside in time to come!

Quarantined!

So its been a bit of a crazy week in the Wright/Williams household. Jacobs last few teeth are trying to fight their way through his gums since the beginning of last week so when he got unbelievably grumpy, tearful, hot and just plain miserable on Thursday, we just thought he was really having a tough time with them. Friday he was very up and down again, and we had his appointment at Great Ormond Street Hospital in the afternoon for his ultrasound to check his bowels and kidneys, which was all clear and his six month oncology check up with the amazing Dr. Kingston. When I say amazing, that doesn't even cover it. She is just unbelievable. She knows everything there is to know about Jacobs condition and actually was part of the team that created the chemotherapy drug combination they now use to treat Rb. She is just amazing. She was very happy with Jacobs weight gain and as I thought, he's shot up just under ten centimetres in six months. That explains the super shrinking trouser legs!! He was not his happy self and just stood at the door crying to leave. The journey home was hideous. My step dad Steve usually takes us to GOSH as he knows his way round London pretty well, and even with his cut throughs and side street knowledge, the hour journey took two! And Jacob screamed for the last 40 minutes. He had refused to eat all day, again thinking it was just teething we just carried on with the Calpol and Anbesol liquid. Come the evening, he was still not stop crying and refused to sleep, at which point I said to Rich "I'm not sure this is just teething." He has never suffered like this with his teeth, so Saturday morning when he was no better, we went to A&E as his tongue looked swollen which obviously set alarm bells ringing. We were seen quickly and as soon as then nurse picked his hand up to check his obs, I saw the little white spots. Before the nurse could even say anything, I said "He's got hand, foot and mouth!" She just said "yep, home and rest!" There's nothing you can do for it. But as soon as I saw the spots on his hands it made sense. His little mouth was filled with ulcers. I honestly felt like the worst mother in the world. I was shoving my fingers in his mouth, running Anbesol round his gums when it must have been so painful! So since Saturday we have been battling eating, drinking and sleeping with an arsenal of Calpol, Nurofen and me cooking/making a hundred different things to hopefully entice Jacob to eat. The only thing we managed on Saturday was a spoonful of porridge. And yesterday, he ate two bananas and some cheerios. We've been looking for anything plain! Milk has been quite a life saver too. He's not normally much of a milk drinker but I think the cold helps and the milk soothes the ulcers. I'm pretty sure he's got lots of spots down the back of his throat too as he has a terrible sore throat now and didn't swallow for a few days. We went through every T-shirt and every bib in the house over the course of Friday to Sunday I think! He seems a tiny bit better today, sleep has been tough and he's had hardly any which obviously doesn't help. But he's sat next to me watching Frozen while I've been writing this which is better than the constant tears we've had the last few days. Rich and me have been tag teaming sleep, eating and trying to keep Jacob entertained. It has been quite tough. Rich is so laid back and has so much patience and can manage on next to no sleep, but I am a nightmare. My patience is nonexistent when I'm tired, and paired with these pregnancy hormones, I have not been very nice to live with this weekend. I've been sent off to sleep a fair few times! I obviously try not to be a monster in front of Jacob and I think he knows Rich is the more patient of the two of us as he has been a total daddy's boy this weekend!! I've been the wicked witch thats pinned him down and forced him to take his medicine and laying him back down in the middle of the night instead of getting up to party at two, three, four and five AM to party. I'm sure he will understand when he's better! I wish they understood when you're trying to explain the medicine will make them feel better, and sleep will make them feel better. It's been a tough few days indeed! Jacob is contagious for about a week after symptoms start, and his fever started Weds/Thurs so I'm really hoping he's better for his trip to see Santa on Wednesday! He's taken a dummy again today which is a good sign. Although he has gone without it for the last few days which I hoped would be when he gave it up. But no such luck!

 I didn't let Jacob have chocolate this time last year, so he's got two calendars this year!

 Wild & Wacky Mondays, before the dreaded virus hit!

 Checking out the fish tank floor at GOSH

 Tackling "teething."

We put the tree up! Jacob has so far broken 3 decorations! 

I've finally started Christmas shopping and we decided that we are Santa is going to get him the Toot Toot drivers train station to go with the stuff he already has. He sits for ages just pushing the cars around and down the ramps. We are going to get him one of the rugs which have the roads on too. And then he's got lots of paints, pencils and stuff like that as he likes to do that kind of thing, and draw on the walls in the process obviously.

I've spent the last week trying to hunt down the "Hulk Smash Hands" for Teddy. Nowhere has them in stock and the nearest Toys R Us that has them is Edinburgh!! And it can take weeks for them to be transfered store to store. They finally came into stock on Amazon so managed to get some this morning, but straight after I placed the order, I had a number from New York call me then straight after that, a number from Malaysia. I didn't answer and I called Amazon and they said all seems fine on the order so I really hope its a coincidence and someone from far away just wanted a chat with me! Knowing my luck, I finally found them but they're actually some dodgy knock offs! Let's hope not!!

A little bump update...

The sickness seems to have gone altogether now which is amazing! But I now have the nasty headaches I got with Jacob, and nothing helps them! They've been a brilliant addition to this weekend I must say!
All I've wanted to eat is the McDonalds cheesy dippers from their festive menu, and cakes and chocolate! I was exactly the same with Jacob around this point of pregancy. I've also absolutely loved the smell of Rich's Red Bull and have snuck a sip or two. I would drink the whole can if I could!!! I'm also at that stage where I just feel like a fat wildebeest! Nothing fits but its my birthday on Sunday so I think I may treat myself to a few new pieces!

I have an 18 month old!!!

I cannot believe I have an 18 month old, I also cannot believe that he is going to be a big brother next summer.
Jacob has become more and more of a little character over the last few months, and although still not saying many words, he does not stop waffling away.
His favourite things to say and that we will understand is "no", " what's that?", "Lex" (our dog), and he makes "mmm" sounds for food he likes. Which is everything. After a wobbly beginning of not wanting any of my homemade purees, he has always been a brilliant eater, I took a really relaxed approach to weaning. I did a mixture of baby led and purées, although he totally refused my purees, he loved the Ella's Kitchen ones. I was so excited to start weaning so when he was about five months, I spent a whole Sunday in the kitchen making every puree you could think of. They all went in the bin eventually as he hated them all. But to be honest, why would anyone want just broccoli or cauliflower? (Although one of his favourite foods is actually broccoli now!) I tried some with apple, sweet potato, parsnip, you name it. He wasn't having any of it. So it was Ella's Kitchen to the rescue. And then at lunchtime, it was always finger foods. Sandwiches, pasta, fruit, veggie sticks, those Organix carrot wotsit things which he loved. And if he didn't eat it, we'd leave it a couple days and try again. He always had lots of variety. My sister used to say "there's too much choice, he won't eat anything!" But he would always clear his tray. We were really lucky through chemo as he never really went off food. I'm guessing he's going to be like me and shove anything away. I won the egg battle last week. I have been trying for weeks to get him to eat some scrambled eggs. And he did it. I was so excited, I put it all on Facebook and rang Rich all excited. So yes, in regards to food, Jacob is a little piglet. 

He has become quite the tantrum thrower. I'm hoping he's getting the terrible twos out of the way before his sibling arrives. He is currently chasing the dog around with his Henry Hoover and trying to hit him over the head. All fun and games!

Spaghetti Bolognese?

Since announcing that we are expecting baby number two, a lot of people have asked about Jacobs condition and what the chances are of this baby having it. Rich and me were both tested for the gene mutation which Jacob has and we are clear, so aren't carriers. So this baby has the same chance as any other baby of having Retinoblastoma. We will be having the cord blood tested when the baby is born, just to be sure. The chances are very small, but at the same time, they were with Jacob too.

The sickness has finally started to pass and I have actually had energy to do housework this week which has been nice. I'd been doing the absolute minimal I could get away with for the last two months and I'm a big believer in "clean house, clean mind!" More like "clean house, happy Char." We've started to go for a walk again most days too, and if not, Jacob has been getting wrapped up and playing in the garden. He just loves to be outside which isn't ideal in the British winter time!

 Showing off his little brother or sister!

Adventuring.

Rich and me have been trying to decide what to get Jacob for Christmas, (I've bought about 3 little things!) The only thing He's really into at the moment is cars, and balls (still!) And he likes Toy Story and Monsters Inc. Actually he likes anything on TV. Could be a cooking programme, documentary on paint drying, he'll watch it! I think we are going to go for a trainset of some kind and just books, puzzles and crafty stuff. I bought him (me) some play-doh last week which he (I) really enjoyed playing with. To be honest at this age, they're more interested in the wrapping paper than what's actually inside!!

Jacob has a birthday party at Wild & Wacky tomorrow evening, and I have my work Christmas party so Rich is taking him alone. Its his first proper birthday party at a play place so I'm a bit gutted not to be going but I'm sure Rich will take lots of photos and I can feel like I was there!!